Source
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/16816452219468102061/episodes/16816452219953072436
The only time I was frightened by the voice of Saki’s heart was at the beginning of the encounter.
We returned home safely around 7:30 p.m., maintaining our distance as close siblings.
My mother had already returned home and prepared dinner for us. Saki and I put our bags in our room, changed into our loungewear, and went to the living room.
When the three of us were all together, dinner started. My father usually comes home around 8:30 p.m., so this is the group we have for dinner.
Objectively, it is a normal dining scene. However, even in this situation, I felt strangely nervous again.
[Ah, I’m so happy to be by Onii chan’s side after all……. Just being next to Onii chan makes me wet. Whenever I go back to my room, it’s always stained. It would be embarrassing if someone saw it, but I might want Onii chan to see it…… Ah, I’m getting wetter as I imagine it. I want to go back to my room and play with myself. But I don’t want to leave Onii chan’s side. It’s troubling.
I wanted to go to Onii chan’s room after dinner, but he said he had a call. I don’t like it. I don’t like the idea of Onii chan talking on the phone with another girl. Should I smash his phone by mistake? Oh, but then I wouldn’t be able to track his location. I don’t want to do that either.
Let’s take a bath and play with Onii chan after he’s done calling. Does he have homework? Well, we can do it together then.
I’m trying to close the distance between us little by little, but it’s so frustrating. What can I do to shorten the distance more quickly? For example……how about comforting myself at the same time Onii chan comes to my room? I know it’s not very nice, but I’m sure he’d be thrilled to see me.
Then, under the guise of serious advice, I could say, [Even though I’m a girl, I think I’m a bad girl for doing this. Boys don’t want to be such naughty girls. I don’t know what I should do, but I still like naughty things.]…… What should I say?
In order to lure him to my room, I just need to leave something behind in Onii chan’s room, right? A phone, a notebook for homework, or something. If I want to create a time delay, I could use a phone with an alarm set to remind him. I could hide it so he can’t find it right away.
Yeah, that’s a good idea. It’s a good plan, even for me. If I pretend to be serious and worried, Onii chan will have no choice but to listen to me seriously, and he will still get excited, won’t he? Then, I could ask him, [I really want someone to do this or that to me, but I’m too embarrassed to ask someone else to do it for me, so please do it for me, Onii chan.] Wouldn’t it be a good idea to approach him? If Onii chan is filled to the brim with sexual desire, he would not be able to leave me alone anymore.
The dazzling sensuality that begins there……. In the presence of our mother, we secretly satisfy each other…… On holidays when the others are out, it’s just the two of us, alone……. Of course, we both look the way we did when we were born……. We are in blissful pursuit of each other as we please…….]
Currently, Saki is watching a variety show on TV in a very natural way. She seems to watch it seriously, as she occasionally laughs out loud.
It’s a clever thing to be able to look normal on the outside, but be filled with delusions inside her head. How many times do I have to ask myself, is this really inner voice? Am I wrong?
I mean, what do you mean my phone is keeping track of my location? Is there some kind of weird app on it? When did this happen?
Amidst all sorts of mixed feelings, Saki concludes.
[Tonight, let’s take a bath and cleanse myself carefully ! Let’s play !]
I understood that I must not go to Saki’s room tonight.
Anyway, I’m supposed to call Misaka san after dinner. Let’s deal with that first.
For the time being, I’m going to take a bath and shower first. After that, I would go back to my room while seeing Saki off to take a bath in turn. I called Misaka san and asked her if I could call her now.
[Good evening, Fujisaki kun. Thank you for staying with me on the phone today.]
[I don’t mind this much. So, what’s up?]
As expected, I can’t even hear her inner voice over the phone. I feel a bit uneasy not knowing what she’s thinking, but I also think I should calm down and listen to what she has to say.
[That’s…..what I’m worried about.]
“Hm.”
[I’m thinking of breaking up with Takuma…….]
“Eh !? I-is that so? Why? You seemed to be getting along well with each other.”
I pretended that it was the first time I had ever heard of it. I wonder if I’m doing it right.
[I’m not saying we don’t get along. It’s just that I’m starting to think that it’s not right for us to be boyfriend and girlfriend.]
“Is that so……? Is there something you don’t like?”
[It’s not really something that I dislike, but Takuma is a bit self-righteous. He’ll give me strange stuffed animals as gifts, telling me that I like this kind of thing, or he’ll buy me a lot of cake and force me to eat as much as I want.
I don’t care if it’s a stuffed animal, and I don’t want to eat a lot of cake. But he doesn’t understand that, and if I look like I don’t care for the stuffed animals he gives me, he sulks, and if I leave the cake uneaten, he gets grumpy and says it’s a waste.
It’s a little off in many places. That’s why sometimes it’s hard for me to be with him as a lover…….]
“I see….. In that case, should I tell Takuma that it’s better that way?”
[Well,…..I appreciate that, but I don’t think it’s going to work out very well,…….]
“Really? I think Takuma is humble enough to listen to other people’s opinions.”
[Takuma is surprisingly stubborn. If he thinks he’s right, he’s not going to give in. He’s like [`I’m acting this way for these reasons, so if you deny that, please show me a clear basis.] Takuma’s attitude may be easy to understand for some people,……but it’s hard to reconcile opinions like that every time you do anything.]
“I see……. There’s a thing about Takuma that he won’t do anything he doesn’t agree with. He has his own will, and I respect that.”
[I respect him. But as a lover, I feel like it’s exhausting.]
“When you’ve been together for a long time, that kind of thing can be troublesome.”
[I think that’s true. The one you think is cool and the one you want to be with all the time are two different things. Takuma is cool, but if I spend a lot of time with him, I get a little tired.]
“……If you get tired, then maybe you’re not a good lover anymore.
Or rather, from what you say, I guess it’s already been decided in Misaka san’s mind that you’ll break up?”
[……Yeah. I agree. Maybe it’s okay to say it’s decided. Rather than thinking about how to continue the relationship, I’d like to discuss how we can break up relatively smoothly. Even if I told him honestly that we should break up, I don’t think Takuma would understand.
He’ll say, [What’s wrong with me? What can I do to improve? Say anything, I’ll change.] ……or something like that.]
“I’m sure he’ll say that. That’s the kind of guy he is. Misaka san, are you not good with that kind of thing?”
[……No, I think so. I guess that enthusiasm is actually making me feel bad now. Even though I’m a little colder, I can’t take it well even if he just expresses his passionate feelings to me……]
“I see……”
I know how Misaka san feels. I also generally understand that Takuma will no longer be a possibility.
As for me, I’m not particularly opposed to the two breaking up. I think it’s natural to break up if the feelings aren’t right for each other, and I don’t think a relationship should be forced to continue.
However, it is difficult to deal with the thought that Misaka san is trying to go out with me after that.
Break up with Takuma and go out with his friend……is that possible?
No, the question before that is, how do I feel about Misaka san? Do I like Misaka san enough to want to go out with her?
I can say that I like her. But I don’t think I’d actively want to go out with her. I’m sure I would have been happy to go out with her if it weren’t for Takuma, but I can’t make that decision under the current circumstances.
“If you insist that much, Misaka san, I’ll lend a hand so that you can break up.”
[Really? Thank you. But maybe Takuma will ask me, [I don’t want to break up with Kanade, what should I do?] He might consult with you ……What are you going to do then?]
“……I’m worried about it. For me, Takuma is a very important friend. If possible, I would like to cooperate with Takuma. But I still think it’s better to side with Misaka san in times like this. In the end, it’s Misaka san who is having a hard time, so helping her is the priority.”
[……Thank you. Fujisaki kun is reliable at important points.’]
“Is that so? Well, anyway, I understand the story. Let’s take a moment to think about the future.”
[Yeah.]
The discussion with Misaka san went on for a long time, and before I knew it, it was around eleven o’clock in the evening.
[I really appreciate you listening to me all through today.]
“Well, I don’t know if it will work out.”
[I know. But with Fujisaki kun, I think we can make it work.]
“You’re putting too much faith in me.”
[……I guess you could call it overconfidence, or something like that.]
If I were the person I was before, I wouldn’t have been able to understand Misaka san’s feelings. However, if I think about it under the assumption that Misaka san likes me, I can see that she has revealed part of her affection.
But, like the old me, I’m going to play dumb.
“What do you mean?”
[……It’s nothing. See you tomorrow.]
“Oh, yeah. See you.”
Just before the phone call ended, Misaka san blurted out something.
I think he was probably saying that she liked me. The situation was extremely awkward, but I was still happy that she showed me her kindness.
“Haa……I wonder what I should do now.”
Even if my sister likes me or my teacher likes me, I can’t fall in love.
The person I see most as a romantic interest is, of course, Misaka san. However, considering her relationship with Takuma, it’s difficult.
In the first place, it’s not a good idea to think about who I’ll be able to date easily.
Where are my feelings?
“……I won’t know even if I think about it. Let’s take a break for now.”
I give up thinking and lie down on the bed. I’m tired of thinking about everything. I want to sleep like this……. That’s what I thought.
[Onii chan’s phone call has ended. It was long. But, I see, are you planning to help Misaka senpai break up with Sakata senpai……. They looked like a good match, but there are a lot of things that go into it……. If that’s the kind of advice she’s looking for, I guess it’s no wonder Onii chan is her priority. Well, anyway, assault !]
Shortly after that, there was a knock at the door and I woke up with a jump.
I no longer mention the fact that the contents of the phone conversation seem to have been overheard.
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Would be pretty funny if the twist is this power to hear their thoughts is some random god or something saw what was going on and gave it to him in an attempt to warn him of the whirlwind of crazy he’s in the eye of.
That God would be a real one if that happens lol. That or he decides to just tease them. Their reactions would be hilarious.