While I was reading a book in the library, I was terrified of what girls were thinking when I listened to my childhood friend and Idol sama conversation from this morning.

After all, it’s not good to be deeply involved with other people…

One week after high school entrance, I decided to become a loner.

However, even if i said that i’m a loner, i think i’ll try to communicate with a male student like Genpaku at least, and if i have time, i’ll read books in the library like this.

I brushed my long bangs that hang over my glasses and clipped them with a hair clip. This hair clip was given to me by a girl I studied with at the cram school I attended in middle school. 

While I was reading my book slowly, I heard a crackling sound. I only turned my gaze in the direction where the sound came from.

There was a class idol standing in front of the library door. She took one look around and then headed towards the bookshelves.

I took a deep breath when she didn’t notice me, and cast my gaze to the book again.

Even if she noticed me, there’s no way she would talk to me. I’m so disgusted with myself for being overly self-conscious. 

But, because of the incident that happened this morning, I’m afraid of getting involved with her. 

So while I was reading,  I desperately tried to hold my breath so she wouldn’t notice me.

Some time has passed quietly.

She must’ve already finished her business and gone home.

Feeling relieved, I concentrated on the book.

As I continued to read, I was so absorbed in the world of the book that I didn’t even notice the rattling sound from a moving chair.

There was the Idol sama sitting on the chair, looking at me. A moment of silence continues for a while in the area of two seats across the desk.

“Um…Excuse me.”

As I was reading, I suddenly heard a voice coming from the Idol sama.

“Y-yes ! !”

The voice startled me  and I let the book that I was holding stumbled in my hand. And that book flew toward her.

The Idol sama who saw that, picked up the fallen book. And then, she handed me the book while smiling. 

“T-thank you.”

I accepted the book that she gave me while feeling confused.

I averted my eyes from her angelic smile. 

I find that gaze and the depth of her heart terrifying. Because I don’t know what she’s thinking.

Then she looks at my face without blinking.

Even though we see each other in class……

No, there’s no way the Idol sama would remember the face of a guy who didn’t stand out like me. 

However, she kept staring at my face the whole time.

“Um… Are you perhaps Kawabe kun?”


She called my name.

No, even if she called my name, it’s different now.

That said, it’s not even my father’s surname.

This surname was my mother’s maiden name.

For some reason, I used the name Kawabe until my mother remarried.

That’s why I’m still more accustomed to Kawabe than Kaizei, that’s why I can’t help but react to it.

However, I have never met the class Idol sama before the school entrance.

But she knew my mother’s maiden name.

….Why? Why does Idol sama know my old surname ! ! 

“Eh, ah, um….” 

My head started to spin and I stuttered because I couldn’t tell that she got the wrong person. 

She was staring at the situation with someone loving eyes, then the Idol sama noticed something and said [Ah.]

Her suspicion increased as she stared at the situation, my confusion reached its peak, and I couldn’t say anything.

I don’t know how intolerant girls can be, but it feels strange for a gloomy person like me to be stared at by a girl. 

Moreover, by someone who’s an Idol sama in her class ! !

As I got more nervous, she slowly reached out her right hand. 

When I saw her hand movement, my tension maxed out, my head stopped working and my body stiffened. 

Her hand touched my head.

And my hair is being caressed by her soft hand.

The sound of my heart is ringing so loud like an alarm bell.

All the nerves in my body are focused on her palm.


Suddenly, the Idol sama raised her voice.

Those words brought me back to consciousness.

She was staring at me intensely as she looked at my face. 

…..Her gaze is hurting me. I’m embarrassed ! !

The moment I think of that, my body starts to move on its own.

I forcely pulled my seat and stood up.

Of course, the sensation of her hand touching my hair fades away, and she said [Ah.] as she made a reluctant voice. 

I got up and turned on my heel at the same time, then started running to the same direction where the Idol sama came in. 

At that moment, I tangled my foot and fell down so hard.

When she saw that, she rushed over and asked me [Are you okay?]

However, due to the series of unfortunate events and the embarrassment that made him feel like he don’t want to live anymore, and said [I’m fine〜! !] to shake off her worries then ran away from the library.

The Idol sama who had been stunned for a while, smiled happily and said [….I found you.] and the person himself had no idea.

When I returned to the classroom, I took off my hair clip and covered my eyes with my bangs.

I’m still afraid to look people in the eye.

Feeling confused by the Idol sama actions, I returned to the classroom to get my bag.

When I entered the classroom, a girl entered my sight. She was staring at me intensely.

“Ew, it’s the gloomy person. Disgusting ! !” 

I recognized the voice and looked toward the direction.

There was another girl there, illuminated by the setting sun.

Her name is Izumo Risa.

She has a bit of a yankee-like aura, and because she has a tight personality, she’s a beautiful girl who wasn’t included in the three most beautiful girls in class.

However, her appearance was as beautiful as the other three.

For some reason, that beautiful girl is being hostile towards me. 

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1 year ago

So the school idol is the only one that isn’t an awful person or self-righteous. Yet. Still like a 50/50 she’s a shitty person and is just hiding it for the public.

I just hope the MC isn’t a door mat when the inevitable happens and they figure out the disgusting gloomy nerd they’re all shitting on for no reason is the hansom guy they’ve all been drooling over. But I know how this goes. The chances of a Japanese MC telling a girl that treats him like crap off is pretty minimal.

1 year ago
Reply to  name

Do you remember that chapter where the mc first met his childhood friend? That Idol girl was the one who criticized the mc for using martial art to save his sister. She is the one with the self-righteous ideal

1 year ago
Reply to  DudeComesUp

No it was the childhood friend who was getting mad at him for using violence thats why he says that he’s not her childhood friend.

1 year ago

Thanks again for this quality translation!

1 year ago

“However, due to the series of unfortunate events and the embarrassment that made him feel like he don’t want to live anymore, and said [I’m fine〜! !] to shake off her worries then ran away from the library.”
You should keep to prior first person narration and change that “him” and “he” in the above sentence to “me” and “I”. Also, the expression “he don’t” is ungrammatical.

8 months ago

Oh, the school idol seems like a decent person.