Source
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/16817330650731416950/episodes/16817330652225387186
How am I supposed to react to that statement?
Should I get angry? Deny that I’m not stupid? Do I affirm that she is right?
Because of my expectations, Kisara’s words hit me like a heavy blow.
However, there is no reason to say anything……since I’m just disappointed with my expectations on my own.
“Thinking strangely, tries to put it together strangely, and tries to end it in a strangely clean way.”
Kisara continued her words without worrying about my reaction.
“Well, I can understand your point of view. If you hurt her, you have to make sense of it, you have to push her away so that she can remember who she is. I can tell from Aoi’s condition that after much thought and consideration, that was the only way.”
“Then–“
“But I don’t agree with the part that you shouldn’t reach out to her by yourself.”
Why don’t you agree with me?
If you’ve convinced to that point, why don’t you be convinced to the end?
Just now, it’s as if my method is half-baked.
“Why do you think so hard? Why do you think like an adult? Well, that’s what I like about Aoi, maybe that’s the reason why I’m attracted to you.”
Kisara stands up and comes right in front of me.
“But I’ll tell you frankly–I’m sure you’re trying to wrap things up neatly like an adult, but to me it just looks like you’re [running away]”
“!?”
“Because, isn’t that so? Thinking about it in a difficult way, you can’t just leave it up to others to decide. Even though you pushed her away on your own, you turned your back from the position that made Hiiyo happy.”
Beautiful, crystal clear eyes look into my face.
Those eyes seem to be grasping my chest and I unintentionally wanted to run away.
However, as if to block the escape route…Kisara’s hand is attached to mine.
“Even if you already know,……I’m not qualified.”
“What qualification
“Like I said, qualification to comfort Sakura…!”
“Who decided that?”
The words that came out instead of being able to escape are also immediately stopped by Kisara.
A gentle smile is on her face, but now it’s terrifying.
“Did I say it? Did people around you say it? And moreover,……would Hiiyo have said such a thing?”
“……No.”
“You’re the only one who’s blaming yourself for where you stand right now.”
It’s horrible—yet Kisara still smiles the same gentle smile.
“I understand that you shouldn’t try to comfort her so that she can understand her boundaries, but those things aren’t for you to decide, they are for Hiiyo to feel and think about together.”
And then, Kisara quietly grasped my hand.
“I’m not the person involved. I only know what kind of situation she went through, I don’t even know what kind of conclusions and determination Aoi acted with, but only through someone else’s words. However, I can understand it because I’m watching from the side…right now, you’re the closest to that girl. You are also the only one she wished for. Don’t act cool, don’t keep it to yourself, don’t believe your own thoughts, and discuss it properly.”
Kisara then quietly held my hand.
“You don’t have to become an adult, so do your best until the end.”
Ba-dump.
My chest tightens and beats loudly.
I don’t know what to say. My mouth repeatedly opened and closed.
Even if she said that.
“…..I’m not as strong as you think I am, Kisara.”
“Then I’ll stay by your side. I’m leaving that girl to the others too.”
Even if I become an adult once, nothing at the root has changed.
“…….I’m not running away because I want to escape.”
“Then I’ll block your escape route. I’ll kick your back while I’m at it.”
But I still wanted her to be happy.
“……..I’d like to make her happy myself if I could, too.”
“That’s fine. No one is saying you can’t.”
Ah, I see.
The girl in front of me—seriously doesn’t try to let me escape.
She’s trying to peel away my fragile, mended heart without a second thought.
“…..People really step into other businesses.”
Fufum, but you don’t mind, do you?”
How could I.
The part of my hand that you are holding is…..warm.
“It looks like you’re all right now.”
Kisara, who was looking up at my face, slowly stood up.
I don’t know what I look like now.
I have to look in the mirror to understand what she saw that made her think I was okay.
Still—-
“……Ah.”
My heart is a little lighter.
And yet, I feel like I know what I have to do.
“Thanks, Kisara.”
“Don’t mind it. It’s you, so I just wanted to do it. I’m sorry if it’s none of my business.”
“Don’t be. Thanks to Kisara, I understand.”
“……I see.”
Kisara started stroking my head gently.
With gentle, soft eyes.
“That girl too. She’s strangely careful and keeps things bottled up until she’s cornered. I’m so jealous of her, even though she has someone nearby who thinks about her. I’m just jealous.”
Kisara began to take out her smartphone and put it to her ear while complaining.
“Oh, hello? Yeah, yeah….. anyway, just come on over. I’m here.”
Who is she talking to?
Only Kisara’s voice reaches my ears.
But it will soon end.
“In that case, see you later. Don’t run away and come here properly–Ah, I’m sorry.”
The phone call is over, and Kisara puts her phone back in her pocket.
“Was that……?”
“Oh, don’t worry about it.”
If she say so then—
“For now, Aoi, you stay here.”
It is obvious that this has something to do with me, but do I have torry about it?
“Oh, yes. I’ll tell you something—“
Kisara suddenly pointed her index finger at my nose.
“This is the only time I’m gonna say it ! I want you to see me properly too !”
Is she talking about acting or something else?
I don’t know, but just as I was about to ask, she said, [Bye.] That’s all she said, and then she left as quickly as she could.
(What was that……?)
What on earth did that last one mean?
The question remains, but for now, I’m going to stay in the park as Kisara said.
Someone will probably come later. I don’t know who it is, but if Kisara called them, I have no choice but to wait.
(It’s strange…….)
Although I was alone, there was nothing heavy or painful about the situation.
I can’t say that I’m not anxious or frustrated.
Still, I felt refreshed somehow, and the slightly chilly night breeze felt strangely pleasant.
And after a while of being alone—
“Misaki san.”
“Sakura?”
She appeared at the entrance of the park.
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