Source
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/16817330650731416950/episodes/16817330652233796872
The night wind was blowing so hard that it was dominating the air.
Her swaying hair was slightly messy, indicating that she had come in a hurry.
The girl, illuminated by the street lamps, still looked beautiful in my view.
Just looking at her makes my heart flutter, and I realize that I am truly in love with her.
Why is she here? Such a question came to my mind for a moment, but it was soon answered.
(Did Kisara call her……)
She has an amazing ability to take action.
Maybe it’s because she wasn’t the party involved, but I never thought she would call Sakura right after talking to her.
—Let’s solve this quickly.
I felt like I was being told those words.
Don’t be bothered by this, look ahead. I felt like I was being kicked in the back.
(Now then……)
What should I say?
What should I say to Sakura, who was looking uncomfortable in front of me?
An apology? Or an explanation?
(……No, of course not that)
I take one big, unnoticed deep breath.
Then I looked straight into her face.
“U-um ! Misaki sa–“
“A long time ago, a girl approached me.”
“……Eh?”
Sakura was surprised by this sudden story.
If she had been told such a thing without any context, she would have certainly wondered about it.
But I still wanted to say it properly.
“I wasn’t what you would call a decent person at that time. As far as I was concerned, I couldn’t talk to people, and I didn’t even look like this. And I wasn’t even thinking of becoming an actor.”
It feels nostalgic to hear me say it.
It’s been so many years since I last talked about this, and I had already discarded it a long time ago.
“I was happy when she talked to me. She was so kind to me. It was only a matter of time before I started following her with my eyes. But she was so much more popular than I was, and she was just out of reach.”
I’m sure that she tilted her head at me when I said this.
I’ve never told her a ridiculous story about time leaping, and it’s a world that can’t possibly exist anymore.
In Sakura’s mind now, there is no memory of the time when she called out to me.
“So I gave up. I gave up and went on with my own life……then, by chance, we met again. I think it was because of various fortunes. The feelings I had in my heart were still there, and by the time I felt happy……it was too late for many things.”
There was a ring on Sakura’s finger, and someone was already standing next to her.
By the time we were on the same field, I realized it was too late.
“I thought if I’d looked forward sooner, if I’d faced myself and not given up. That’s why……I don’t want to regret it. Never again.”
I looked straight at Sakura, who was listening to my sudden, incomprehensible story.
She couldn’t understand the situation well and her eyes were shaking a little.
……Let’s not talk about nostalgia anymore.
From now on, let’s talk about the present.
“I want Sakura to be happy.”
“!?”
“I want you to be happy and spend the rest of your life without suffering.”
I wanted to stand in line.
I wanted to be liked, and I wanted to see her smile more than anyone else.
But what if it was an image, a mask instead of the real her?
If she is suffering because she can’t remove that mask–I want to help her.
Because…..I still love Sakura.
“I would have done anything for that. I thought it didn’t have to be me in any way,……but someone taught me that I was wrong and that I was thinking too hard.”
It’s good that she found her boundaries by pushing away.
But Kisara kicked me in the back telling me to take care of it from there.
She also told me she would stay by my side…..for me, such a helpless me.
“So, you see…..Sakura.”
I desperately suppress my trembling voice. No matter how much of an actor I am, I have a hard time making myself understood when I say what I really want to say.
Because there’s no role to play.
But I still want to say it.
“I want to save you. I, of all people, want to save you.”
I said it.
I finally said it.
There was no going back now.
She may be taken aback, she might think I’m creepy, she might reject me for saying what I said after I pushed her away.
But this is definitely what I really wanted.
In order to face her again–I knew I needed to do this.
Straight up. I looked straight into Sakura’s face.
And then—
“I-I……”
With a drip sound.
Tears spilled from her eyes.
“You don’t have……the qualifications to say that to me.”
Once the tears began to flow, they did not stop, and finally she covered her face with her hands and crouched down.
“Because it’s someone like me !? All the words that Misaki san said to me at that time were right ! I don’t know which is me and what is me ! If it weren’t for Misaki san, I wouldn’t even be aware of my anger and sadness !”
But what about you now?
An act under the skin, is that what you call it?
For all intents and purposes, you look like a different you now to me.
“Why do you go to such lengths for me, Misaki san……? Because I’ve only known you for a few months !?”
That’s right. Normally anyone would think so.
After all, the feelings I’ve had for all these years are from the past, which is nowhere to be found anymore, and the time I’ve accumulated is only in me.
“I don’t know,……I don’t know.”
But.
Sakura uttered with a mixture of sobs.
“I’m happy……I’m glad that Misaki-san thinks so…..”
She took the hands that were hiding her face.
The face she peeled off had tears streaming down her face that she only shows on TV.
I looked into her eyes, moist and clear.
“Those feelings is you, correct, Sakura Hiiyo?”
“……Yes, I think so.”
“If so–“
And then she smiled at me.
Following my true feelings, I wanted to reassure her.
“There’s one more thing….I’ll teach you what fun is. If you know that, you should be able to find yourself.”
……If I had said this from the beginning, would my heart have felt so proud?
I’m happy, she said.
When have I ever been so motivated to do my best to respond to Sakura’s feelings?
My task was set.
“Why……”
With moist eyes, Sakura looked at me.
“Why do you……go to such lengths for me?”
Why?
Why would I do that?
“Because you are—to me.”
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