“Long time no see, Aoi.”

A little while later.

I went to a nearby park and met a girl.

She was wearing a white hoodie, with her long, glossy hair exposed, sitting on a swing and waving her hand in a small gesture.

I hadn’t seen her at school recently.

It was probably because we were both filming for different movies.

Seeing each other like this, I felt a strange sense of nostalgia.

“It’s been a long time, Kisara.”

I walked up to Kisara and sat down on the swing next to her.

“How are you doing these days?”

“I’ve been busy, thankfully. But I’m having a good experience……after all, I’m the newest person at the site I’m at.”

“……I see.”

I’m glad you’re doing well.

I thought that there was no need to worry if Kisara was a positive and ambitious person, but when I heard it from her own mouth, I felt a little relieved.


“Then why did you suddenly call me? You’ve never done anything like this before.”

When I looked at Kisara’s face and asked her, she looked up at the sky a little.

There were no stars or anything floating in the sky. There is just a slightly brighter night sky supported by the city lights.

Still, she looked up with somewhat distant eyes.

And then—

“Hiiyo came today.”


“So, I heard a lot of things from her…..”

The moment I heard Sakura’s name, my heart jumped involuntarily.

“I’ve never seen her face like that before,……no. If I recall well, she used to have a face like that in the past. That’s why I felt a little nostalgic.”

What are you talking about? I’m not going to ask her that.

What is she referring to and what is she talking about? When her name was mentioned, a near-confident expectation passed through my mind.

“Fufu, I’m really surprised. Both Hiiyo and you are usually much more mature than usual—I was surprised that this is happening.”

The smile born from Kisara’s well-defined face is directed at me.

Receiving that, I immediately turned my face away.

“…..I’m not mature.”

“Is that so?”

“I’m not.”

I learned from Kisara and looked up at the sky.

“In the end, I can only think about one important person.”

The reason I look like that is because I became an adult once.

The people around me may think I’m mature, but that’s an image, I’m a cheater,

When I open the lid, I see only the pathetic and miserable personality of a former shady character who still hasn’t changed, and only one girl.

And even that one girl—he can’t do anything right.

“I can’t do everything. Even the hand I’m trying to reach out isn’t decent. I’m not a hero, I’m not a saint, I don’t have power or wealth, I’m just….a weak man who tries to look like an adult.”

In the end, I’m just a man who cheats……more than everyone else, a shy man with a timid root.

Still, this feeling never wavered.

After all, the first person to reach out and give me a smile was—Sakura.

“You know…..I just want Sakura to be happy.”

Is it because we haven’t seen each other for a long time, or is it because I’m letting a girl named Kisara take care of me?

Words fall out of my mouth without permission.


“She doesn’t have the self that everyone else has. I realized that she was suffering because of that, and I knew that she was a clown, and I wanted to help her.”

The reason these words spill out is because my heart is weak.

The question I had earlier finally collapses as I spit out one unstoppable word after another.

What is so mature about this? I’m a pathetic, lame man.

I’m sure that even Kisara, who is listening, would be disillusioned.

But……it won’t stop.

“That’s the only way I could come up with. The only way to do it is to evoke emotions when she is aware of her “acting”. So, what was quick and effective was that…”

“Then you don’t have to shove it away–“

“What if it’s just a temporary feeling? I’m sorry, I lied. What if after I say that, the feeling disappears and she can’t remember it when she’s involved with someone else? There’s no guarantee that I’ll be able to find Sakura after a few actions, because that’s how it’s always been. If I don’t push her away and make her aware for a while, she won’t remember the boundary between the mask and herself.”

I didn’t say that because I liked it.

The reason why I couldn’t comfort her is because of my own thoughts.

But that’s all I could come up with, and that’s why I said that.

People around me might say, [Huh?]

It might happen, but–I had no choice but to do that.

“Before that, I had no right to comfort her when I said those words to Sakura. I’m going to pay the price, and get out of her life like an adult. I’ll quit the office and school if that’s what she wants. And then–“

I’m happy as long as someone makes her happy.

At first, I started this restart because I wanted to be a guy who could stand up for myself, but Sakura’s happiness is more important.

The cast doesn’t have to be me.

If I can become a viewer and watch the main heroine become happy, it will be worth starting over.

(Hey, isn’t that right?)

Please tell me I’m right, Kisara.

Tell me it’s not a mistake, that it may not be the right answer, but it’s not the wrong answer.

I’m sure if you can throw one word at me, I’ll be rewarded a little.

“……I see.”

Kisara put her elbows on her knees and looked ahead.

“I finally have it all made sense in my mind. I honestly had my doubts about what was going on here until I came here……but finally, I understand.”

If you understand.

What’s the next word?

“So it turns out I was mistaken after all. You guys who think you’re close but you don’t see anything, and you’re all so mature, you’re nothing special. On the contrary, the more you look like an adult, the more you get pissed off.”

I look at Kisara’s face with clinging eyes.

Then, Kisara looked straight at me, as if she understood my intentions.

“I’m going to make this very clear.”

And then–

“You really are an idiot.”

These words were neither affirmation nor consolation.

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