Episode 58

source

https://kakuyomu.jp/works/16816927861803370576/episodes/16817139555910909951

I haven’t spoken a word to Aoi today.
I know the cause. It is because I pushed Aoi away before Golden Week.

I want to do something about it, but I can’t. I spent today with such frustration and feelings akin to impatience.

I had no idea what I was supposed to do or what I wanted to do.
Aoi is definitely struggling with something.

I am a good friend and I want to help Aoi. But I wonder if she doesn’t think so about me.
Not being able to rely on me was the hardest thing for me.

Besides, the Komiya kun thing is also on my tail.
Why didn’t you tell me? Would it have hurt you to hide it from me? Or did you already …….
That, too, had turned into doubts about Aoi.
If she had told me, I wouldn’t have had to face these ugly feelings.

These two different events folded together in my mind, and I was unable to sort out my negative feelings toward Aoi.

As I was thinking, Aoi was gone from the classroom before I knew it.

“Maybe I’ll eat somewhere alone.”

I also left the classroom because I felt Nagano kun and his friends would call me if I stayed in the classroom.

When I left the classroom, I saw Komiya kun’s back. Komiya kun seemed to be eating somewhere else.
Recently, he seems to have started eating with Naka and his friends like before, but before that, he used to disappear without a trace at lunch time.
Now that I think about it, Aoi was the same way, so it must have been that way.

“You should have told me.”

Here, the emotion pretends to return again.

I am sure he will eat somewhere with Aoi.
I followed him because I was curious about him, even though I shouldn’t have.

He ended up on a staircase leading to a closed rooftop.
I see. Certainly people don’t come to places like this.
It’s a great place to be alone.

Now he is still alone. I am sure Aoi will come later.
I thought so, but Aoi never showed up.
On the contrary, Komiya kun had his head in his hands and seemed to be troubled by something.
I could see that he was suffering.

Seeing this, somehow I had jumped in front of Komiya kun.

“K-Komiya kun!”
“…Sakino san?”

Komiya kun looked surprised that I had appeared.

“What’s wrong”
“Ah, et-to…”

I jumped out and was totally unorganized and sloppy.

What on earth did I want to do, me …….

“I-I was eating lunch here.”

At any rate, I’ll say what comes to mind.

“Ah~, yeah, well”

However, the reply was somewhat toothless.

“Isn’t Aoi with you?”
“Eh? Why….?”
“Why?……ah”

To continue the conversation, I asked him what was on my mind casually, and I forgot that I was not supposed to know.

“Uh …… actually, I knew. That you two are dating.”

I can’t help what I have said. I don’t think it’s anything to hide what I know, so I tell the truth.

“Et-to, from when?”
“Maybe the Saturday before last? you were together, and I saw you..ki– …….”

Having said that much, I was at a loss for words. My face got hot as I remembered that scene.

“Ah, yeah…..”

Komiya kun also looks uncomfortable, as if he has an idea.

“Oh, Sakino san, actually…”
“You’re terrible, Komiya kun!”
“Eh?”
“If you were dating Aoi, you should have said so!”

Say it plainly. As much as possible, as usual.

“That’s……..Sorry”
“Did you think I was going to get mad at you?”
“Uu…….”
“Well, if it had been the old me, I would have been angry.”
“Ha, haha…”

The incident where Aoi left the classroom screaming. If not for that incident, I might have been angry that Komiya kun, whom I considered unworthy of Aoi at the time, was dating her.

Yes, that incident changed my view of Komiya kun.
I thought he was a no-brainer, but I ……towards him…

At that time. If only you had told me.

“If you had told me, I wouldn’t have …… felt this way ……!”

I was in the middle of speaking when I began to feel an uncontrollable swell of emotions within me.
Painful.

Were I starting to like him?
No, this was probably, I’m sure I really like him.
So painful. Between the board with the person I love and my best friend.

“S-Sakino san?!”

Komiya kun was puzzled when I suddenly began to shed tears.
Of course. I suddenly appeared and cried. If it were me, I would have chosen Aoi over this depressing woman.

“Uu….sorry, suddenly”

And yet, I can’t stop the tears from flowing.

I sniffed.
Komiya kun quietly watched me cry for a while.

It’s embarrassing.
I thought to myself, ah, my heart is weak.

I was feeling unstable with Aoi and my feelings for Komiya kun overflowed.

“You okay?”
“Not yet….but I’m fine”

Komiya kun chuckles at the contradiction in two words.
And now he opened his mouth.

“Actually, I didn’t tell you, but …… I got dumped.”
“…….Eh?”

Why!?

I froze in place at the completely unexpected words.

Does that mean Komiya kun is not dating anyone right now?
Then what was the point of me crying!

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I found myself feeling a sense of joy, even though it was inappropriate.

“Ah, so maybe what was bothering you earlier was because Aoi dumped you?

The state of my visit here. Komiya kun was having a hard time wrapping his head around it.

“Ah-, no, yeah. That’s part of it, though.”
“Though?”
“I don’t know where to begin.”
“Oh, tell me!”

I lean forward to devour it.
I want to help Komiya kun who is suffering as much as possible.
It was a manifestation of such feelings.

Then I listened to Komiya kun.
From how they originally got together to how they were dumped.
And even that he is troubled by Aoi’s rejection of him after he was dumped.

Seeing him hurt like that, I feel somewhat unable to leave him alone.

“Komiya kun. Am I no good?”
“…..Eh?”

And then I found myself saying things that I couldn’t help myself.

“Is that means……..”
“I love Komiya kun.”

Komiya kun’s eyes go black and white at my statement.
I’m puzzled. I said before that I kind of liked him, but I wouldn’t have expected to confess at this point in time.

“That’s why I want to comfort Komiya kun.”

I thought to myself, this is the worst.
I’m trying to replace my best friend.
I put myself before my best friend’s problems.

“………”

Komiya kun looks at me with a serious face as he accepts my confession.

“Sorry”
“…………..ts”

It was an obvious answer.
Because Komiya kun likes …… Aoi.

I was told that he was not sure if he liked Aoi or not, and that they got together because of unstoppable circumstances.
But I was convinced as soon as I heard the story.
Komiya kun said he is completely in love with Aoi.

The fact that he is not clearly aware of this is also strange.

I don’t know why it was the right time for me, even though I knew it was.

“Haaaa. I got dumped.”

I feel it in words.
A fitting end for a cowardly woman.

“Sorry”

Komiya kun apologized once again.

“Don’t apologize! You’re making me miserable.”
“So-………..”

Komiya kun almost said the same words again when I said that, and kept his mouth shut.
Komiya kun is still kind.
That’s the way it is.

“But it felt better, so never mind.”
“Eh?”

This is the way I really feel.
It is easier to give up if you are rejected once and for all.

“Hey, Komiya kun. Komiya kun, you like Aoi, don’t you?”
“………Ah, eh?”
“I’ll tell you something since you don’t seem to have noticed. Komiya kun is falling in love with Aoi.”
“Eh, me?”
“Yeah. Komiya kun”
“………..”
“I’m surprised I didn’t notice it before. When Komiya kun talked about Aoi, he sounded so happy. It almost gave me heartburn.”
“Is it?”
“Yeah”

Komiya kun blushes with embarrassment.
Oh, God. I’m getting kind of frustrated. This frustrating feeling!

“Oh, that was hard. It was hard when the person I love fell in love.”
“T-That’s”
“Ahaha, I was joking. Komiya kun, you’re cute that way.”
“………….”

So I teased him.
I could see Komiya kun’s flustered look on his face, and it cleared up the confusion inside me a little more.

Komiya kun looks at me with a stern look.
…… Let’s change the subject.

“Hey, Listen”
“Eh?’

Komiya kun was flustered because I was getting serious again.

“Aoi, she’s having trouble. She won’t talk to me, but maybe …… she’s being harassed by other girls. Quietly so they don’t find out.”
“T-That’s…..ts”

I’m sure Aoi didn’t want to involve Komiya kun. She is keeping Komiya kun away from her because she loves him. That’s what I think.

If I think with a clear head, my thoughts will become cleaner and cleaner.

I see, that’s why…….

Convinced myself of my own ideas.
That’s why Aoi didn’t even tell me. I can’t believe I’m realizing that now.

“I’m so stupid, I ……”

My small muttering to myself did not reach Komiya kun either.

“Komiya kun!”
“Y-Yes!”
“Don’t let a little rejection stop you!”
“What’s with you all of a sudden?”
“You were just upset because Aoi dumped you, weren’t you?”
“I don’t kn–….I knew it”
“Okay”

I looked at Komiya kun, who was trying to cover it up, with a stern look, and he admitted it.

“No, you can’t. You are a boy. Aoi isn’t keeping you away from her because she really wants to. I’m sure she wants Komiya kun to help her.”
“That’s…..”

Komiya kun is frightened that getting involved with Aoi again will lead to another rejection.
The point is, he is not confident.
Why on earth does he have so little confidence in himself?
Why did I fall in love with such a person? I don’t know.

….geez

“I said terrible things to Aoi. I did a cowardly thing. That’s why I have to apologize properly.”
“…..eh?”

Komiya kun flutters at the unconnected story.
I would still continue.

“So I’m going to apologize, Komiya kun, and I’d like you to help me.”
“……….! that means…”
“Komiya kun helps Aoi for me. How’s that? Isn’t it good?”

I guess he understood what I was trying to say.
Komiya kun laughed.

“I understand. I’ll help you.”
“Yes! If that’s what you decide! I’ll take care of Aoi and identify the harasser, Komiya kun, gather information too!”

I stand up and tell Komiya kun so.
Now that I had a clear idea of what I needed to do, the gloomy feeling inside me was blown away.

“Roger!”

Komiyakun also stood up and responded.
It seems that he has finally made up his mind.

Then I turn around and close the distance between me and Komiya kun.

“……….?”

……..Chu

“Hee?”

The sound of my mouth and Komiya kun’s cheeks touching became quieter.

“You know you owe me one now, right?”

I said this and left the place as quickly as I could.
My face was hot to the point of death.

(TL/N : God….the mc is so slow..it’s hurting me)

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