Source
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/16817330655556357602/episodes/16817330658135953065
“–Hm~? Asahi kun, why are you here~?”
On the way to the library on the third floor of the old school building, I was suddenly called out and turned around to see Kohanai Futaba senpai, the student council vice president.
“F-Futaba senpai…..?”
“Hello~, I haven’t seen you since the pool~”
“Ah, yes. I’m very sorry for the trouble I caused you that time……”
When I bowed my head about what happened at the pool the other day, Senpai smiled kindly and waved her hands.
“I don’t think it’s bothering at all~. Are you feeling better?:
“Yes, I’m feeling much better now.”
“I’m glad～, I was worried because you looked a little down～”
“Eh?”
Suddenly, Futaba senpai’s casual remark made me unintentionally twitch.
“….Did I look a little down?”
I asked, and senpai nodded.
I thought I was trying to look calm, but it seems that Futaba senpai can see right through me.
She took a step closer to me as if she was looking into my face.
“Asahi kun, is something wrong?”
“……No, it’s nothing.”
“If you’re lying, I’ll be sad, okay～? If you have any troubles, tell me.”
Her voice is gentle and soothing.
The loneliness that had been dominating my heart all these days seemed to slowly melt away, and I couldn’t help but feel something welling up from the depths of my heart.
As if to push me into a corner, Futaba senpai gently stroked my head.
“When I see Asahi kun’s pained face, my chest becomes tight and painful. But Asahi kun is the one who’s in pain. ……So, you don’t have to endure it alone, okay?”
It would only troubled her to be told out of the blue that I have amnesia.
I know that saying this to someone will only cause trouble.
However, there is a strange atmosphere that Futaba senpai will accept me, and I can’t help but want to be spoiled.
After a long struggle, I decided to speak frankly.
“Senpai, can you give me some advice……?”
“Yes, of course～. ……I think we should change the place.”
Futaba senpai seems to have taken care of me, so the two of us decided to move to the quiet library.
◆
When I entered the library on the third floor, there were only a few members of the library board sitting at the reception desk and hardly any other students using the library.
The room was quiet and empty.
It was summer vacation, but not many people were coming to the library, and I felt sorry for the librarians who had to come all the way to school to open the library.
However, it was rather convenient for us now……I sat down at a little distance from the reception desk and started talking to Futaba senpai, who was sitting in front of me, about the events of the night we went to the swimming pool, one after another.
Knowing that I have amnesia.
About Hanab and how things were awkward between us.
I had no idea what the hell I was now.
I told her everything I knew about my current surroundings and feelings……without hiding them, just for my own comfort and self-centeredness.
And then, after I finished telling everything, I started to feel guilty.
After all, it would only be troubling to be asked for advice about such things……
When I was feeling bad, Futaba senpai suddenly whispered.
“Asahi kun, do you think you want to remember what happened before you lost your memory…?”
“……I honestly don’t know. I’m scared to think what if my previous self was a different existence from my current self.”
Even if I were to regain my memories, what would happen to me now?
But there is also a feeling that is at odds with this question.
“But I feel like I’m forgetting something important. I feel like it was there even before I found out I had amnesia……”
It was like there was a gaping hole in my heart, a feeling that had been there somewhere for a long time.
Futaba senpai was watching over me with a gentle gaze while I was trying to somehow put into words the emotions that were swirling deep in my heart.
Thanks to that, I was able to make up my mind.
“After all, I want to know…… I don’t want to not remember anything like this. I don’t have any memories, but I’m sure it was so important that it’s lingering in my mind even now.”
Futaba senpai nodded her head.
And then, as if determined, she turned to me.
“I understand……. Then there is something I have to tell Asahi kun.”
“……Yes, what is it?”
“I knew that Asahi kun had no memory.”
I wasn’t particularly surprised.
That’s because I was vaguely aware of it.
Maybe the other seniors knew.
Sometimes I had a hard time talking with the seniors.
It was as if there was something in common in my subconscious……now that I think about it, I feel as if it had been there since the sleepover.
“A little before the sleepover party, Hanabi chan consulted me about Asahi-kun’s amnesia…… I think Hanabi chan couldn’t handle it by herself anymore.”
Futaba senpai said that she had been unable to talk to anyone about it and had to deal with it all on her own.
She continued to speak quietly.
“I don’t know what happened between the two of you, but Hanabi chan is a dear childhood friend, and Asahi kun is also important to me, so I wanted to help you.”
“…..Childhood friend?”
The words that caught my attention suddenly came out of my mouth.
Then, Futaba-senpai nodded with a serious look.
“Yeah, I’m Hanabi chan and Asahi kun’s childhood friend.”
“F-Futaba senpai is…..?”
A shocking confession.
“Could it be that Juri senpai and Nagisa senpai are also……?”
“Yes, the five of us were always together.”
Before I knew I was amnesiac, I couldn’t believe it.
No matter how much I try, I can’t remember.
Suddenly, the words of Futaba senpai at the sleepover party come to mind.
–Asahi kun, you have always been so honest, you’re a natural, aren’t you～
Thinking back, there were several times when I felt uncomfortable like that.
I let out a deep sigh.
I wonder what the seniors thought when they found out that I didn’t remember them.
I don’t know how close I was to them.
Still, I was worried that maybe I had hurt them.
“……Sorry, I can’t remember anything.”
“No, that’s all right now. You said bravely earlier that you wanted to know what happened before you lost your memory……. Then let’s get them back together.”
“Get it back……?”
“If you really want to know, we’ll do whatever we can to help you.”
It’s just up to me……
I felt that such a nuance was included.
Is there really any way to get my memory back……?
Even if I could get my memories back, would I be able to accept myself……?
Such questions swirled in my head.
But more than that, I know the dependability of my seniors.
I didn’t need much time to make up my mind.
“Please. I want to remember my seniors.”
“Yeah, I’m sure Juri chan and Nagisa chan will be willing to help you.”
And so, I decided to face my memories.
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