Episode 9 – Self-projection

Source

https://kakuyomu.jp/works/16816700427224608463/episodes/16816700427390489574

I leave the house much earlier than usual. To be honest, I usually leave the house a little later, but lately I’ve been enjoying my days. As I pedal my bicycle, I look back at the recent events.

“I knew it was the right thing to do !”

Yesterday, I went to a crepe shop in front of the station with all my new friends. We made a little too much noise and got a warning, but we still had a good time and I have no regrets.

I never thought I would make so many friends, but it was all thanks to him.

I was so excited that I hopped on my bike and was at the school in an instant. They say that time flies when you’re having fun, but I don’t think the old me would have believed me if I told her that I could even enjoy the ride to school.

(I may have come a little too early, as expected……)

I commute to school by bicycle, but I didn’t see a single student until I came here. Only the baseball team was having morning practice, but it seems they’ve just started, judging by the lack of high spirits in their voices.

“Haa, I wish school started earlier…….”

I’m sure others would cringe if they heard this, but I really thought so. That way I would have more time to spend with everyone and more time to improve myself.

Let alone in elementary school, I was always studying throughout middle school, so perhaps it was a reaction to those days.

I always gave it my all, whether studying or playing. Sometimes I even helped others. I treasure that kind of helpless daily life.

When I opened the locker of my shoe box, something fell at my feet.

“…….”

I froze a little, but quickly picked up the fallen object and quickly went into the unused equipment room and hid in the shadows. It took me about two seconds to get there !

(N-no way, is this…love letter !?)

What I had in my hand was a plain white envelope. It was a letter directed to me, no matter how I looked at it.

Obviously, I had never received such a letter before. In fact, I was aware that I wasn’t attractive.

(Maybe it was a prank or……a letter of misfortune?)

Or maybe they put it in the wrong shoe box. However, the student ID number and name are written in large letters on the locker, so it is hard to believe that they made a mistake.

In other words, there’s no doubt that this was a letter addressed to me. I concluded so, but that made me nervous.

(Ugh ….okay, I have to be brave ! If I’m frightened by something as trivial as this, I’ll never catch up with him !)

Whether or not this was a love letter, I had to check the contents now that I had received it. And if it really is a love letter, I have to reply to it properly.

(It must have taken a lot of courage to send the letter.)

I know how hard and important it is to be courageous. That’s why I couldn’t step on the thoughts of the sender of this letter.

“O-okay !”

Let’s quickly open it before anyone comes. And I carefully opened the letter’s seal and began to read the mysterious letter.

“….”

I read through the letter. It’s strange that the location is in the equipment room, but it’s still the quietest place.

I wondered how much time had passed since I started reading the letter. When I reached the end of the letter…..I froze.

“What….is this?”

What was in the envelope wasn’t a love letter, nor was it a misfortune letter.

“What’s this supposed to mean? ……Yukihana san.”

Here was a record of how a person named Yukihana Ruri had lived up to now. It might be more accurate to describe it as a diary written from the perspective of a third party rather than the person in question.

I don’t know who sent this letter, nor do I know if it’s true. I wasn’t in a state of mind to judge, but the main reason was that I was trembling with emotion.

“I wasn’t the only one…….”

While holding back the tears, I rushed to the classroom. It was still early in the morning, but maybe she’s there. I was eager to talk to her anyway.

And so I arrived at my class in no time at all. I opened the door and…..there she is.

“Yukihana san !”

“!”

She was startled and jumpy, probably because she was suddenly called out loudly. It seemed that she had just arrived at school and was organizing her textbooks for class.

I thought it was a bad idea, but decided to start by greeting her to shorten the distance between us.

“Well, um……good morning.”

“……You’ve been very noisy this morning.”

“I’m…..I’m sorry.”

(Whoa, that’s bad.)

I completely irritated her because of my sudden loud voice. Yukihana san narrowed her eyes and didn’t return my greeting but only returned a snake-like glare. Reflecting that it was my fault, I tried my best to get into her personal space.

‘Um, it’s……’

(Oh, no. I’m nervous to say it straight to her face.)

I’m a little too nervous to say my first words, but she sees this and starts to cut in with a sullen look and tone that she doesn’t try to hide anymore.

“……What is it? If you don’t have anything to say, get the hell away from me.”

“Oh, yeah, that……”

Her language is getting rougher and rougher, but I do my best to speak at my own pace. The first step to getting close to her is to say the words.

“I have a favor to ask you, Yukihana san.”

“……I’m listening, so just say it.”

“Y-yeah.”

Then I took a big deep breath and…..

“Hey Yukihana san,…..be my friend !”

“……nya?”

Yukihana san, perhaps not expecting what I said, makes a meowing voice like a cat. While thinking that it is a little cute, I repeat words in my own way.

“I think me and Yukihana san can be friends !”

“……I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Yukihana san’s displeased face from earlier turned to a confused one. As expected, I was impatient that I didn’t say it right, and I thought I said it firmly.

“Because I’m….the one who can help you, Yukihana san. I could change too ! So, let me help you, okay?”

“……Huh?”

Oh, no. I’m not being very specific at all.

And Yukihana san regained her composure when she saw me looking like an idiot. If I look at it, she was more expressionless than usual.

“….I don’t need your help, though.”

“That’s a lie ! Because Yukihana san is also…..”

I suddenly realize that if I say more than this, won’t it hurt Yukihana san? On the contrary, she may reject me even more.

That’s why……

“I will save you, Yukihana san.”

I declared this and gave Yukihana san a wry smile. While thinking that she must be the one who suffers more.

“……?”

Yukihana san was completely confused, but no further words were needed. This is also a battle with myself.

“……Ah.”

When I looked down the corridor, I saw someone trying to enter the classroom. That’s….Shiina kun. If I make any more noise, I will cause trouble for the students who are going to school. So, I decided to give up on persuading her.

“Well, I’ll see you later.”

“….. No, huhu?”

Nothing is going to change even if I stay with Yukihana san any longer. Then I decided it would be better to give it a little time, so I waved at Yukihana san and left for my seat.

But…..come to think of it, I forgot something……

(……Hah ! I left all my stuff at the equipment room !)

Thinking that I was an idiot, I hurried back to the equipment room. I greeted Shiina kun, who passed me on the way, and ran down the corridor.

I’m a member of the track and field club, and I’m strong enough to run in the morning and not get out of breath. I’m so different from my old self.

(….But.)

I never thought that Yukihana san had gone through the same thing I did. I’m sure she must have suffered, and maybe she’s still suffering. Then I’m the only one who can help her.

Come to think of it……

“I, the one who changed me was……”

After arriving at the equipment room and safely collecting my belongings, I suddenly remembered the past. How could I have gone from being so helpless to being so cheerful. It’s ……

“……Kanata kun.”

I remember the name of the person to whom I owe the most, and I get a little sentimental. He, that person, is everything to me.

“……”

He’s the one who changed my life.

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RKADE 14
RKADE 14
10 months ago

I can see why it’s called self-projection.
Kanata just made a copy of himself.