It was so easy. It was so easy to get into Kouki’s heart.
It should be the first time I’ve used ……, but it feels strangely familiar. I even feel nostalgic. It is so comfortable that I want to stay here forever.
With my face buried in Kouki’s chest, I closed my eyes to sleep.
This is what Kouki feels like–. It’s much harder and …… hotter than I expected. A low, thumping heartbeat echoes from deep within his muscular chest. You’re always so matter-of-fact, so blunt, so clear, as if you’re taking a step back. But you are always so calm and blunt, and yet you seem to be taking a step back. I smiled secretly, feeling like I was peeking into Kouki’s secret.
just a little …… closer than usual, just a few steps. It was as if I could feel a completely unknown side of Kouki all over my body. I wanted to get closer. I want to know more about him. The hand that stroked my hair was so tender that it made me want to …… him touch it more.
After all, I don’t want to.
I don’t want to let go. I don’t want to give up this place. I don’t want anyone to know about this warmth, smell, or feel. I don’t want to give Kouki to Sada san.
So let’s say …….
Because it’s not too late. Kouki is still not wearing a bathrobe – not …… yet, but he’s not Sada san’s yet. Still a one-sided love. Just like me. Then it’s not too late.
I took a deep breath and was about to look up at him when suddenly “Kouki…”
“Honami,” a voice says quietly …… but in a firm tone, “we need to talk.”
I jerked. -I instantly sensed a disturbing presence.
The hand that had been stroking my hair stopped, and my body became somewhat stiff and …… something was different. The atmosphere of Kouki has changed.
Suddenly, what? What do you want to talk …… about?
“I came to see you today because I wanted to return the …… key.”
I huffed and involuntarily looked up, detaching myself.
“That reaction …… that you lost your keys, I guess you did notice.” He said it accusingly, but as usual, there was a gentle wry smile on his face. “If you lost it, you should have told me. It’s my house key. I’m glad it was at home, but what if I lost it outside and some weirdo picked it up?”
While apologizing, my cheeks almost relaxed.
I was wondering what am I going to say again. …… .[I see. You came to give me the key. ]What am I doing, a lecture?
Of course, Kouki probably had no other intention. He just found the key at home and came to deliver it to me – that’s all. I still feel hope that Kouki will give me the key. At least he doesn’t think that he doesn’t want me to come to his house anymore. ……
I sighed quietly, Thank goodness.
“Before I just give you ……, I have to tell you something.”
Suddenly, Kouki’s expression turned grim and he said something like that to me.
A bad premonition ran through my whole body. The tension that had almost loosened returned and seemed to bind my whole body.
Kouki pauses for a moment, then slowly opens his mouth and says
“I know how you feel ……”
It was as if time had stopped.
I froze in a daze, unable to think of anything. I had no idea what Kouki meant. No,…… my head refused to understand it. My feelings, because that …… means …….
My heart was burning hot. My hands were trembling slightly.
Looking at me somewhat apologetically, Kouki continued mercilessly.
“Like……right? my —”
At that moment, I felt a rush of heat from the back of my throat.
“Stop it! Don’t say it so clearly, you idiot!”
“Ah, …… bad.”
“Fuuu, you’re going to tell me in person?! I can’t believe you! You have no delicacy! What are you thinking! It’s impossible!”
I couldn’t face him anymore and I turned away in a huff to escape.
–No way! That’s the worst. Worst. You mean he knew? The whole time? That I like Kouki?
So you came to ……? So what did you come to tell me? You know how I feel about you, and you had to tell me before I gave you the key. ……
You didn’t report me properly right?. -I’m going out with Mayuko – those words echoed in my brain a step ahead of me, sending a shiver down my spine.
“Sorry, Honami. I knew it wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t say that properly. ……”
What do you mean by fair? Why are you apologizing? Don’t be nice to me even at a time like this.
“I know exactly why you’re coming……. I knew it, and that’s why I didn’t tell you. I thought I shouldn’t tell you. But ……”
“You came here to tell me to give it up right!”
I’m already throbbing. Kouki’s kindness …… now is just infuriating. So and so, it was like being skinned alive. I thought to myself, “Why don’t you just dump me all at once?”
“You came to …… to tell me that it’s no use coming to your house any more, ……. There is someone else…….”
“Eh!? No….someone else..why do you know…!?”
As if on target, I immediately lost my composure and started panicking, as if to say, “I’ve got it figured out.”
It’s so easy to understand, isn’t it?
I can see it in his eyes without looking. I can see it even without looking at him. Is he even stretching out his nose, looking all smitten? I really don’t like it. I don’t want to see Kouki like that.
“Did you ask my brother about that……?”
After a few moments of silence, Kouki asked me, as if he had given up …….
I huffed and quickly faked it, saying, “It’s nothing …… but just a hunch, though.”
As expected, I don’t want to say that I …… eavesdropped on the conversation with Hiroyuki san. That would be too miserable.
He awkwardly chimes in, “I’m sorry,” Kouki apologizes as if to catch up with me.
“Stop apologizing,” I said, turning myself around so I could spit it out. “I don’t even need the key anymore. Take them and leave.”
I felt like I was going to start crying again. This time I didn’t want to hug …… Kouki anymore.
I started to walk back to my room as if I was trying to escape, but then…
“Honami!” He raised his voice impatiently, and Kouki grabbed my arm. “Can’t it be me!?”
When I turned around with a startled look, I found Kouki with a bright red face. But his expression was not smiling. It was serious and urgent. It was so urgent, so serious that it was scary.
When I asked him about it, Kouki’s face grew even tougher and he said
“I like Honami. I’ve always liked Honami. From now on, I want you to come to …… me.”
W…What? Why…..why is he saying that? What is he saying….?
“H-Haa….?” A weak voice leaked out. I said, “You like me …… what do you mean?”
“Right away, it’s not about what I want to be or …… that kind of thing. I just want you to see me as a man from now on, not as a childhood friend.”
“As a man,……?”
I could feel my face blush.
Wait …… wait a minute, wait ……! Is that what you mean ……? Is this a confession? But it’s not right. It’s not right!
“What are you talking about?” I shook off Kouki’s arm and raised my voice. “There’s someone else, can’t—”
“You don’t understand, I guarantee it! What you’re saying, it’s a mess. ……”
“I’ve been holding back for a long time. I thought that if you liked someone else, I would have to give up. But …… that was just running away. I don’t care if you like someone else or not. I don’t care about that. I love Honami. I will make you happy! That’s why I want you to think about …… me.”
I couldn’t even get a word out, because it was too much. My head was filled with question marks.
Do you like me even though you like someone else? Does it matter if I like someone else? you don’t care about that. …… you say? Doesn’t that mean that you’re going to two-timing me ?
If you like someone else, I’m sure you have to give up ……. You have to choose one or the other.
What is this? I don’t understand. My head is spinning.
Am I still in a nightmare? No, it’s worse than a nightmare. Koukii is saying the worst things a man can say.
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