Source
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/16816700427224608463/episodes/16816700427320895941
I arrived at school and sat down as discreetly as possible. Kisaragi and the people around her had already arrived at school and were having a friendly morning chat.
The problem with Kisaragi is that she doesn’t talk to any particular student for long. After a conversation that lasted less than a minute, she would chat happily with another student. Moreover, there’s no rotation or order, and she doesn’t care about gender barriers.
After some time had passed, she finally came to me.
“Shiina kun, good morning !”
“Yeah, morning.”
I replied in a low voice, trying not to stand out as much as possible, and to give a slight sense of distance. But perhaps Kisaragi found it amusing, and continued the conversation with a smile.
“Yesterday we had a karaoke party, and I’m thinking of holding a second one if possible ! Yesterday was a lot of fun, and I’d love for Shiina kun to join us. Oh, and by the way, we’re talking about going to an amusement park next !”
“….I’ll think about it.”
Amusement park with everyone, give me a break. I probably will never accept this girl’s invitation. For some reason, just looking at her cloudless smile makes me angry.
(Hm, why am I so uncomfortable?)
I’m in complete control of my own emotions, but looking at her right now makes me nauseous for some reason. It’s as if she’s a reflection of someone else……
As I was feeling uncomfortable, Kisaragi changed her target to someone beside me. Before I knew it, she was gone from right in front of me, and I was a little shaken up from thinking about it.
But I try to act as natural as possible and eavesdrop on the conversation next to me without being noticed.
“Um……Yukihana san, right? Nice to meet you.”
“…..Likewise.”
The girl called “Yukihana” answered Kisaragi’s question in a tiresome manner and concentrated on the book in her hand. Moreover, she remained expressionless all the time.
“Since we’re all girls, why don’t we hang out together after school? Let’s go have crepes in front of the station today….”
“…..I’m not interested, try someone else.”
(…..This girl)
At the same time, I was listening to other students’ conversations, but once I shut everything out, I sharpened my nerves to listen to the exchange between those two. I took out my phone and pretended to be playing with it, and tried to look as disinterested as possible.
“Geez, you’re so cold. I mean……books, do you like them?”
“…….As much as anyone else.”
As she said that, Kiaragai pouted, but Yukihana showed no interest in Kisaragi and concentrated on the book. It’s as if she’s in her own world. Or perhaps she doesn’t want to let others enter her world.
“Hee, I often read books too ! What kind of books do you read, Yukihana san?”
”……Psychology.”
“Huh?”
“……Psychology.”
She said it twice because it’s important. She said that without looking at Kisaragi at all. On the contrary, her expressionless face was starting to turn a little uncomfortable.
However, Yukihana’s emotional fluctuation was so slight that Kisaragi, who was standing right in front of her, didn’t seem to notice it. I doubt that there were many people who could notice this change, except for me. The changes in Yukihana’s emotions and facial expressions were so small.
I would call it a constant poker face.
“Yukihana san, you’re so smart ! I wish you would teach me when it comes to test period.”
“…. Studying isn’t something you have someone to teach you. It’s something you do and explore on your own.”
“Ah, t-that’s right. Yukihana san seems very dependable !”
“……”
Yukihana was no longer trying to get along with her. She had an atmosphere that says, ‘go somewhere else quickly’.
Is it due to a communication problem or rejection? It was probably the latter, but Kisaragi, not knowing this, wasn’t going to back down.
Kisaragi was a person who didn’t care much about other people’s feelings, but it seems that this hasn’t changed over the three years that have passed.
“Then I’ll invite you again after school, so make a decision by then.”
“……Just do whatever you want.”
And so, Kisaragi made her way to other students. She probably does the same exchanges. It’s been troublesome since morning.
(…..Hm?)
For a moment, I felt a gaze from the seat next to me. It was from Yukihana’s place, who should be concentrating on reading.
I was tempted to wonder if I was imagining it, but the fact that I, who’s sensitive to gazes, felt that way, must’ve meant that Yukihana was looking at me.
(Come to think of it, she glanced at me yesterday when I was about to leave.)
Yukihana is definitely watching me. Maybe she even looked at me a few times when I was concentrating on my thoughts. Is it because I’m the person sitting next to her, or is it simply because she doesn’t like my messy hair?
(Well, there’s no need for me to stare back at her, I’ll just observe her when she’s doing a self-introduction.)
And I waited for the first period, which was replaced by a homeroom.
※
Morning time passed quickly and easily. Kisaragi, who had been so happily chatting, sat quietly in her seat when the chime rang. She’s a model student, just like in the movie.
(She used to joke around a lot more in the past……)
I remember when Kisaragi was in elementary school, she was often warned by her teachers for being a problematic child. I was also lectured by the teacher as a co-responsible person. Even though I was deceiving her, I was getting a little angry that she didn’t notice her benefactor at the time.
Kisaragi gave a word of command at the same time as Shichimiya san arrived. It’s probably true that she wants to enjoy her youth, as she’s doing her job as the class president.
“Well then, I’m going to ask everyone to introduce themselves, which we couldn’t do yesterday. Kisaragi san did it yesterday, so everyone except Kisaragi san. Each one of you will have about one minute. Okay, let’s start with you.”
“Ah, yes !”
Then, the people seated on the corridor side began to introduce themselves in turn. I’m sitting near the window, so I’ll probably have to wait a few dozen more minutes.
I memorize each person’s name and face and input them into my mind. Because remembering everyone’s name here saves me the trouble of having to do it all over again.
“Then, Yukihana san is next. Please go ahead–“
As my turn was getting closer, it was finally her turn to speak. Yukihana stood up with the same expressionless face and let her small voice echo through the classroom.
“……I’m Yukihana Ruri. I’m not in any club activities. ……My hobbies are reading and watching videos. ……That’s all.”
“H-hm? Are you done?”
“…..I have nothing more to say.”
Yukihana sat with a blank expression on her face. She made no attempt to express her emotions with the same tone of voice that remained unchanged through the entire time. The reactions of the people around her were also varied, some looking at her with interest, others simply taken aback, and a complicated atmosphere dominated the classroom, including Shichimiya sensei.
Yukihana, on the other hand, didn’t care at all, and was looking out of the classroom with a bored look on her face.
“T-then, next person. Please go ahead.”
Shichimiya sensei also tried to suppress her agitation and urged the student sitting behind Yukihana to introduce themselves. The teacher also seemed to have some thoughts about the throwaway greeting Yukihana just gave.
(This girl……)
What I’m going to do today won’t change, but there may still be some changes to the plan. Yukihana was such a special student that it made me think so.
(Maybe I could use her……)
Such thoughts crossed my mind, but before I had time to think of a concrete plan, it was soon my turn. I was a little nervous, but I rationalized and froze that feeling.
“Then it’s your turn, Shiina kun, isn’t it?”
“……Yes.”
The eyes of the entire classroom were on me. Kisaragi stared at me intently, and Yukihana who had been looking outside until now, was facing me.
I started to introduce myself briefly while somehow enduring the gaze that pierce through me.
“…..I’m Shiina Kanata. I’m not in any club activities. I’m not good at studying and sports, but I’m going to do my best.”
I introduce myself in a safe manner. Dry applause is given, and the focus of self-introduction shifts immediately to the next person.
At first glance, my self-introduction is blunt and ordinary. But that’s okay. This is the best self-introduction I can give at the moment.
This is how I greeted people in elementary school.
[Hi ! I’m Tachibana Kanata. I will do my best to get along with everyone and make lots of memories ! If you have any problems with your studies or sports, please let me know. No matter what it is, no matter when, I will definitely help you all ! And I will be a great person who connects everyone !]
A brightness that bears no resemblance to my current self-introduction. When I think back on it, I realize that I’ve gone beyond the cheerful people type and am now a completely gloomy guy.
I gently looked at Kisaragi, but she was already not looking at me. I’m sure that in her mind, she must’ve concluded that I, Shiina Kanata, and Tachibana Kanata, are completely different people. That’s because the gap between the present and the past is that big. If I don’t reveal anything, she won’t find out about it until graduation.
And Yukihana, who had been looking at me, seemed to have lost interest and was gazing fleetingly out the window. I don’t know what was reflected in her eyes.
Homeroom ended with a brief explanation, and we switched to our first class of the second year.
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