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Tsukane takes one look at my apologetic expression and softly adds
“The play I saw a long time ago. I didn’t like it either. I couldn’t understand why she didn’t stand up to her mother.”
Their escape was full of hardships and the harshness of society, but they had to get over it before that.
I didn’t know she was feeling resentment in a different way than I was.
I guess she didn’t tell me because she knew I recognized that.
she respected my wishes.
If you call me insensitive, I can’t argue with you.
No, it’s different from insensitivity… I’m sure if I had asked Takune what she was dissatisfied with, she would have told me that.
In other words, she didn’t want to know,……, that’s all.
“But it’s hard to express your feelings. It’s hard. It’s a mixture of anxiety and anticipation, and I get so nervous that my heart feels like it’s going to explode. I think it’s arrogant to say it’s not fun. Or immature.”
I guess that’s what she meant about the scene she was dissatisfied with.
Unlike me, Tsukane was able to draw attraction from it.
I could tell that Tsukane’s body temperature was rising even higher through the air, making her words more penetrating.
–Yes, that’s right. I guess I was immature.
It’s funny to hear a teenager who doesn’t know anything about love criticizing me like that, isn’t it?
“Ah, you’re right. You did the right thing.”
“Yes, I did. …… And yet, Tomose is terrible. When I revealed who I liked, he didn’t look pleased at all.”
“That’s just an excuse for Kano to see ……. I’m a bad guy.”
No matter how many times I admit it, Tsukane probably won’t be convinced.
That’s because that’s the weakness of being in love.
But even if you have a weakness, you should know it. …… If you already know it, you should understand it.
If you still love me, then I’ll have a day to respond.
The silence lasted for a while.
I wonder if she had said all she wanted to say.
I noticed that there were still tear stains on her face.
But it seems that she has nothing more to say.
Then, may I ask you something too? ……I’m sorry for the post-processing, but it’s something you should know.
“Speaking of which, there’s something I hadn’t asked you. Did Tsukane intend to lose in the exam?”
When the test was over, Tsukane was looking unusually confident.
Was that confidence in losing?
I thought that the plan was based on the assumption that she would lose.
Was it intentional …… or was it both?
If Tsukane won, she could have ordered whatever she wanted, and it still would have been the same thing.
It is hard to say that it is wrong to try to make the outcome not so bad no matter how it turns out.
In other words, the proposal was a cheap shot.
“No. I wanted to win, but even if I gave it my all, I couldn’t come up with a vision of winning against Tomose. I was happy with first place in the tie. Do you remember that?”
“Yeah, when we tied for first place in junior high school, we fulfilled each other’s requests, right?”
“Yes. If I had won, I might have …… made Tomose and Tanba-san break up.”
Perhaps …… that was the case.
My guesses were all wrong, and there were other ways to win in the Tsukane’s way.
“I was going for a tie for first place. That was the only perfect scenario that didn’t have any other obstacles. So even if you hadn’t suggested the match, I would have taken the initiative.”
“You mean the one where the winner takes the lead from the start?”
“Yes, you really did get, and it didn’t make much difference.”
It did change. …… I was supposed to change everything just by not taking first place.
There should be a couple of smiling couples walking down the street right now.
Imagine that, I know it’s vain, but you know what?
“In the end, I didn’t try hard enough. So I guess it’s karma, too.”
But yeah, Tsukane was only looking to tie with me for the top spot.
And yet, what a narrow-minded person I …… am.
–I don’t know what I can say to comfort Tsukane.
Even if someone tells me I don’t deserve it, I still want to do it, but unfortunately I can’t think of the words.
I found myself at my house.
I was walking slower than usual, but it didn’t take long when I was talking to Tsukane.
“Oh, we’re here. ……”
“If you haven’t talked enough, do you want to come to my room?”
“Echi…… already cheating ? I’m glad, but I don’t want to ……I want to be alone.”
“Understand. See you tomorrow.”
“Yeah.”
We parted ways with Tsukane looking sad.
I was alone, but I did not enter the house.
I tapped on the wall next to the door and let out a muffled voice.
“Damn it!”
Even though I was asked to do so, I didn’t try to grab Takune.
Yes, I could have ruined Tanba-san’s situation and made her happy, but …… I guess I made a mistake again.
There is no point in regretting past possibilities,…… but then where should I dedicate these feelings?
If I stand in front of the house for too long, it will look suspicious. In a few seconds, I feigned calmness and took out my house key.
The feelings can be sorted out later, and it seems that the emotional trauma inflicted was deeper than I thought.
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