Episode 7 – [I’m not a kid…..///]

Source
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/16817330662545387095/episodes/16817330663582344874

Then we had a cup of tea and chitchat. But mainly, I listened to her complaints about studying for the entrance examinations.

When that conversation came to an end, Ari san suddenly asked me the following question.

“Hey, Kingo. You’re leaving the band, but you’re still going to do music, right?”

Ari san, who had been talking to me as if we were friends, was reserved only at this moment.

I wondered how I should answer her……

“Are you going to quit music? I know it’s been hard for you, but you seemed to be having fun last night, didn’t you?”

She seemed to feel uneasy about my silence and talked about last night as if she was trying to encourage me.

I don’t remember much about last night because I was too drunk. But I do remember that I had a lot of fun when I played forAri san.

That’s why I didn’t feel like giving up music once and for all.

I like playing guitar.

I like having someone listen to me.

That’s why I want to keep playing.

“Whenever I feel like it….I guess.”

But now I feel like getting away from music.

It’s not bad to play by myself, but I’m not going to do it right away.

And I didn’t want to start a band again.

“When will you be ready?　When will I get to hear Kingo sing again?”

Ari san was begging like a hungry puppy.

Her face made my heart ache.

But I could not make this clear.

The existence of Ari san is the existence of the fans who are waiting for my return. So I’m very happy that she wants me to come back.

But I can’t get back on my feet right away because it was only yesterday that I was kicked out from Lyconess.

The reason I sang last night was because I thought it was my last live performance with the energy of alcohol, and I don’t feel like I can have fun no matter what I play now that I’m sober. With this kind of feeling, it’s a dream come true to reopen the band.

I had been silent for a long time, but Ari san understood my feelings.

“I’m sorry I said something like I was urging you. You’re not in the mood for this right now, are you?”

“I guess so……. I’m going to take a break until I feel a little better.”

“I see. Then, can I come back? I’d like to stay by your side and cheer you up until you get better.”

She flipped her dreaded face, brightened up as if she had flipped a switch, and made such a suggestion.

“I’m happy……. But you’re taking an entrance exam, right, Ari san? Why don’t you study for yours instead of focusing on me?”

“I’m fine ! I got an A on the mock test for the school I want to go to !”

Ari san said with pride.

Despite her fashionable make-up and rushing behavior, she seems to be an excellent student.

“I’m happy, but I don’t like the idea of being pushed around by people who don’t care about their own footing. Besides, if a girl goes to a man’s room too casually, her father will worry, right?”

“Mmm…….. I’m not a kid anymore.”

“Eighteen?”

“…..I’m only seventeen.”

“Then you’re just a kid.”

I smiled a little because she was trying so hard to be taller and cuter. Feeling that he had been ridiculed, Ari san sulked with a swollen face.

“I don’t think you should make your parents worried.”

“Will Kingo do anything that would make his parents worry?”

Ari san’s cheeks are flushed and she asks me with a delicate expression that is a mixture of fear and a hint of anticipation.

The innocent girl who adores me as a musician showed me a woman’s face for a moment, which made me feel a little nervous, and I had a wicked thought in my mind.

I wondered if she would be dominated if I approached her…….

It made me realize too late that her expression was contrived.

“I’m not making fun of you.”

“Augh.”

I poked my forehead with my forefinger and chastised her for her nonsense. I almost lost it. Ari san, who was completely shocked and saw through the play, playfully stuck out her tongue and tried to fool me.

“Well, then, what’s your contact information? Wouldn’t it be nice to meet outside? I, for one, would love to see you again !”

Ari san, who took out her phone, asked in a tone that did not hide her impatience. She said she really wants to be friends with me.

“I’m sorry, Ari san. I can’t do that either.”

“Eh…….”

A sad voice escaped from Ari san’s small mouth.

Normally, any guy would be happy to hear from such a cute girl asking to see him again or to give her his contact information.

However, for me now, the existence of Ari san as a fan is heavy.

“I’m not a band member anymore. I’m a normal person. I want to get away from music now and settle down, so please refrain from contacting me.”

There are two reasons why I refused Ari san’s request.

The first is because, as I just said, I want to calm down. If there are fans there, I’m sure I will remember the past and it will be hard for me.

The second reason is that I don’t want her to misunderstand. If I exchanges contact information with my admirers and interacts with them, it will give them some kind of expectation.

Maybe she’ll expect me to return.

But I don’t have the energy to make a comeback right now. And I have no intention of falling in love with this girl.

I felt bad to make her feel sorry when I have no intention of taking her seriously, and I would be dishonoring the favor she has done for me by supporting me up to now.

Ari san looked sad for a moment when she heard me, but then she quickly put on a carefree smile.

“I see, that’s right ! You just quit the band after all. I’m sure you have a lot of things to think about, so I shouldn’t get involved. I’m sorry for being so selfish.”

Even in the short time I’ve known her, I could tell that she was just being strong. That’s why my heart ached again.

But it was for both of us.

“So, Kingo, take care of yourself. Cheer up.”

“Thank you. Please do your best on the entrance exam, Ari san. I’ll be rooting for you from the shadows.”

“Ehehe, thank you ! It’s a great feeling to be cheered on by your idol ! Well then…..goodbye.”

With that, we waved our hands to each other and parted with empty smiles.

With Ari san’s departure, there was a sudden silence in the room. At the same time, there was an emptiness in my heart.

I’m sure we will never see each other again. Maybe we’ll meet somewhere, but that time will be when we pass each other as residents of the same town. I’m just an ordinary college student who will never perform on stage again, and she is just a student. I’m sure we will never have a relationship beyond that.

Just as I was in such a sentimental mood, there was a commotion on the other side of the door.

“(Wait, who are you !?)”

“(Eh !? Who are you !?)”

“(That’s Kingo’s room, right !? I’m a friend of Kingo’s…….)”

“(I’m a fan of Kingo’s !)”

Ari san is talking to someone. Is the other party Ryoko?

I wonder what she’s doing here…….

“(A fan !? Why is a fan girl doing here in the morning !?)”

“(Erm……I’ve been taking care of him from last night for various reason.)”

“(Haaaaa !?)”

Ryoko’s angry voice pierced through the autumn sky, deafening me.

I realized at that moment. It will be a while before I can rest my mind…..