Just remembering today makes me so happy I feel like I’m going crazy.
We rode the train together……took a bath,…… even gave each other kisses on the cheeks,……and Kento clearly told me he wasn’t mad at me……
It must be really weird for me to be smiling in my futon.
When the light stands out, the shadows insist on following.
On today’s date, Kento looked only at me. He was full of me. But that was just for today.
The next date is with Maria senpai, I think.
I wonder what their date will be like.
I wonder if Kento will think it’s more fun than my date.
The two of them will have a comfortable time together, and then they will be attracted to each other–
“……Oh geez !”
I shouted loudly to shake off the haze in my mind.
I wrapped myself in the futon to keep the sound from leaking out, but maybe my mom on the first floor might have heard me.
But I couldn’t help but scream. I had to scream or I would go crazy.
In the end, though, I couldn’t shake off this anxiety by screaming.
On the contrary, I could feel it growing like a virus in my chest.
It’s painful. It’s painful. I was happy just now.
“I’ll just……sleep now…….”
I wanted to sleep and forget everything. I wanted to be free.
Today is the only day I can’t sleep. I’m frustrated, but the cause has been obvious for a while now.
Originally, Kento was mine. But I know it’s because of my mistake that this has happened, so all I can do is regret it.
Anxious. I’m anxious. I’m afraid Kento will abandon me and go to another girl after I made a mistake once.
He denied it over and over again. He told me he would not abandon me. He even gave me a testimony.
–I am such a greedy woman.
It’s not enough.
I don’t feel at ease, not even a little bit.
Ah, it’s started again.
I’m in pain. I can’t breathe.
—Die. I’m going to die.
My mind goes blank, but I pull out my cell phone.
The time displayed on the home screen is 1:42 am. Maybe he hasn’t woken up yet.
Still, I call the number, hoping for a ray of hope.
Tears well up.
I can’t even breathe. The tears won’t stop.
I was about to be consumed by despair, and that’s when it happened.
–Ah, it’s Kento’s voice.
Maybe because he’s sleepy, he’s a little softer than usual.
“–I’ll be right there, so open the window.”
How many minutes have passed? I don’t know.
It was all I could do to breathe, all I could do to endure the suffering.
It hurts. I’m in pain.
Please help me.
I was gently held and kissed.
The window was certainly open, but I wonder when he came in. ……No, that’s not important.
I want to concentrate on kissing Kento now.
—Hm? I don’t know if I had enough time to think that I wanted to concentrate on kissing him.
By the time I realized it, my anxiety, heart palpitations, and hyperventilation were already gone. I couldn’t believe it myself.
Even though it was so painful. Even though it was.
I was in pain, but just by Kento’s visit, I was cured.
—I see. I’ve been made to realize it again.
–I can’t live without you.
“Maki. It’s all right now. …..There there.”
He gently patted my head as if he was trying to help me. As for the voice, it’s a bit subdued, perhaps to avoid waking up my parents, who were sleeping together on the first floor.
“…..I was scared.”
As a reaction to the despair I felt earlier, I end up being complacent.
I’m a little worried that he might think I’m a kid.
“It almost makes you cry after all.”
“…..I’m not crying.”
“You’re lying. Your eyes are red and you have marks on your skin.”
“…..Kento you’re an idiot.”
“Hey, hey, a guy who rushed in here in the middle of the night isn’t an idiot, right?”
Kento said, looking a little playful.
I see. It is already two o’clock. Kento must have been woken up by my phone call.
“I’m sorry,…..I was in pain…I just–
As I was lying on my face, Kento suddenly started ruffling my head.
“I had already combed my head before going to bed, but it was ruined……”
Even though I cursed at him, I was surprised to find that he wasn’t angry at all, but rather happy.
“I’m sorry. Maki was feeling depressed for some reason, so I just….. Anyway, you don’t have to worry about me. If you start hyperventilating again, just call me anytime like before.”
Because of my personality, I’m sure there will be times when I’ll get anxious and hyperventilate alone again. But I’m not afraid anymore. Kento will come for sure.
–If he doesn’t come. If Kento left me.
I might as well just die.
“Maki, can I go home now? I didn’t sleep with Hikari today, and I went out the window, so she probably doesn’t know, but……I’m a little sleepy.”
“……No. I know it’s selfish of me, but I want you to stay with me a little longer.”
“……Okay. I’ve come this far, I’ll stay with you until you fall asleep.”
–Kento, please don’t kill me, okay?
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