Source
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/16816452219468102061/episodes/16816927859771526539
[Alone with Onii chan ! No one will get in my way ! Onii chan cares about me the most, and is it okay if we fade away like this !? I think Onii chan actually wants that too !?]
Saki’s mood is extremely good. Her face is nimble and her gait is fluffy. Are you that happy that you were chosen earlier? It’s just a hypothetical story……
“So, Saki, is there anywhere you’d like to see? Do you want to go look at some accessories around there like you usually do?”
The flow of the conversation left me alone with Saki, but normally this is nothing brand new. We live under the same roof and go out together all the time. We go shopping together, see a movie, go to a restaurant, take a walk in the park, play at a sports facility or arcade. Maybe there is no point in doing this…….
However, I feel comfortable being with Saki without feeling any strange tension. Even though we’re always together, there’s no need to act cool or look good just for today. Well, it’s only easy when it’s not dark.
“There’s a place I’d like to go, but…….”
“But?”
The buoyant atmosphere becomes subdued, and Saki’s face turns mysterious.
“I’ve gotten permission from those two, so you can relax for a while.”
“……Eh, what do you mean?”
You must be tired from going on so many small dates…or something like that?
“Onii chan, you were talking to Sakata senpai, right? About Misaka senpai’s decision to break up with him. Honestly, I don’t think you’d be able to enjoy yourself if you went somewhere with me right now.”
“That’s……true.”
My friend got dumped by his girlfriend, and I consulted him about it. Moreover, I can’t say that I have nothing to do with it. Rather, it’s like I stole her away.
When I remember Takuma’s bewildered voice, I have a pain that makes my stomach twist.
“Maybe a little rest won’t help you recover, but it’s better than no rest, right?”
“Hm…..that’s true.”
“Then, let’s take a little rest. There should be a sofa near the escalator.”
“…..I’m sorry. For making you feel uncomfortable.”
“Hmmm. Isn’t this only natural? I don’t have to depend on Onii chan all the time either !”
[Hmm? I wonder if Onii chan would be shocked to see I become such a caring girl? There is also a gap from my usual self, so isn’t the effect outstanding !?]
It’s clear that she’s full of ulterior motives, but I appreciate Saki’s concern anyway.
We sit down side by side on a three-seater sofa near the escalator. I’m glad it was just empty.
I exhale and relax. It seems like I’m more mentally tired than I expected, and I don’t feel like getting up for a while.
“…Hey, Saki. By the way, though. Did Misaki sensei say anything to Misaka san?”
“…… Hmmm. Onii-chan, you must have a lot of trust in Misaki sensei for you to want to ask something like that”
[Maybe I’m still unreliable, but it’s frustrating that Onii chan seems to trust Misaki sensei more than me !]
I shouldn’t have brought up Misaki sensei here……. I’m as insensitive as ever……
“Ah, that’s…….”
“Hmph. It’s nothing to worry about. She’s older than me, so it can’t be helped.”
“……My bad.”
“That’s fine. Misaki-sensei said, [It’s just an illusion that love is a beautiful thing. Love is filled with so many unpleasant and dirty parts of humans. Misaka san, right now, you should worry about your own ugliness and suffer as much as you can. Only after that can you finally see something. There is no real salvation in the easy salvation of some clever words.] Something like that.”
“……I see. That’s right.”
There’s no easy way to get rid of suffering.
There are times when you have no choice but to endure. The time you endure is what is meaningful.
If you can think of it that way, then it is not just a time of suffering.
….I wonder if Takuma can think like that. Is it really impossible? What he has lost is too big….. I wonder what Misaki sensei would say to Takuma?
I’d like to ask her, but I can’t rely on Misaki sensei for everything.
I’ll have to think a little bit more about it myself.
And then the time passes where I seem to be thinking about something, but in the end I am just spinning my wheels.
Saki was standing next to me, quietly waiting for me to make a move. Before I knew it, she had become very mature. The old Saki would have let me go along with whatever I wanted to do anyway, without regard to my own convenience.
[…Onii chan is depressed and worried, his mood is different from usual, and maybe it’s cool in this way…… Sigh…I wish I could help Onii chan more. At times like this, it’s good to do something naughty, right? If I let him touch my tits, would that make him feel a little better? Or does he want to do something more intense?
I’d like to get Onii chan with a thoughtful expression on his face to hug me as much as he can…..and he’ll feel somewhat guilty and roughly take off my clothes……mmmm. Good ! That kind of thing is fine too ! I’ll allow it if it’s Onii chan ! Just imagining it makes me wet ! Aahn, geez, why isn’t this a hotel? If Onii chan could hold me like this……. I will gently hug Onii chan back !]
…If I look at her from the side, she looks like she’s calmly watching over me, but her inner voice is too aggressive. I can’t keep worrying about it.
But maybe that’s all right now. There is nothing I can do for Takuma. I know that Misaka san is going away, and even if I say something comforting, it won’t help Takuma.
The truth is, I don’t think I’m even worried about Takuma. Even if Takuma was so depressed by his breakup with Misaka san that he couldn’t come to school anymore, I would probably just say sorry.
If Saki was seriously depressed, I probably wouldn’t be able to break down that easily.
…I guess I should stop pretending to be worried about Takuma.
I’m unfit to be a friend, I guess…… Yeah. I’m not much of a person after all.
I let out a deep sigh and turned to Saki.
“Saki, let’s go now.”
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finally he was honest he is a terrible friend, more of an enemy.