I see. –So that’s why you called it a two-timing.
Finally, I’m beginning to understand. The reason Honami was so upset. Why she said it was the “worst confession” she’d ever heard. Where did the title of “hentai” come from
No wonder she was so upset. If someone who likes someone else (or thinks he does) confesses to me and says he’ll make me happy, I’d think …… what a sleepwalker he is.
I don’t know where I went wrong and how it came across that way.

“It wasn’t me,” I said clearly again, as if to make sure. “It was my brother who told me he was in love with someone else. I didn’t mean to tell you not to come to my house. On the contrary ……”

The body, which was curled up in a small ball with its face buried in its knees, twitched and moved.

“Opposite……?” I heard a muffled voice say.
“– yes, the opposite. From now on, I want you to come see me. Not my brother. ……”

I thought I said it earlier, but saying …… is what I call shifting the blame. If she didn’t get the message, then I must have said it wrong. I was so nervous and excited that I didn’t know what to say. I was so nervous and excited that I was confused at times, and it’s not surprising if I mispoke something.
I hated myself for not being able to make even a single proper confession. With a wry smile, I took a deep breath to calm myself down, and then I took a deep breath to calm myself down this time.

“I’m the same way. I want to keep Honami to myself. But it’s …… different from yours, mine is not ‘as a childhood friend’ but ‘as a man’. When I’m around you, I want to hug you and do more than that. That kind of …… ulterior motive has always been there, and even after I found out that you like my brother, I couldn’t erase it. I don’t think I will ever be able to erase it.”

I was painfully aware of it just now. I was clearly aware of it. I can’t do anything in front of the crying Honami. I can’t even hug her as she clings to me. As long as it is an “ulterior motive,” I can’t help but feel guilty, and I can’t move. I can only do my best to pat her head. I can’t even comfort Honami in a dignified manner. That’s not …… good enough. childhood friend is not good enough.

“I don’t think I can give up on you, and I don’t think I want to. So, from now on, I’m going to make you fall in love with me for real. I won’t leave you to my brother. I will make Honami happy. I’ll make her forget about my brother, too.”

Is this what you call a hungry ……? Strangely calm, there was no tension, no excitement, not now.
The other side of the eye, Honami is still crouched on the floor, but her shoulders are still shaking slightly.
Perhaps she’s crying again – or maybe I made her cry ……?
She thought we were just childhood friends. She must have been shocked if I told her that I had ulterior motives all along. I’m sure Honami trusted me as a childhood friend and that’s why she hugged me unprotected. That’s why I betrayed her.
She glared at me with sharp eyes and said, “Haa?!” The cocky, hateful words that she used to say have completely disappeared, and she never said a single word. The Honami I knew so well was not there, and I was struck with an uneasy feeling of …… dread.

but then…..I realized what was she talking about …….
If she thought that I was talking about me, that I liked someone, she didn’t know …… that my brother …… liked someone, right? I mean, now I just told you–?

With a “bang,” it was as if a rock had fallen on my head.
Oh no, it was more than that. It’s not a problem that can be solved with a simple ……, is it? I am disgusted at my thoughtlessness.
It’s disgusting. It’s really …… a [lousy confession]

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for saying all those selfish things. ……”

I felt as if my chest was being crushed by self-loathing. I sagged, and then I said

“It’s really …… troubling.”

I heard a voice so thin that I almost missed it.
I looked up and saw

“I didn’t …… expect Kouki to say that to me.”
“Ah …… yeah, right.”
“I can’t …… do it anymore,” she continued, her voice trembling and turning into that of a …… bitter one, as if she was desperately trying to hold something back. “I can’t see Kouki’s face …… right now.”

The pain was as if I had been stabbed in the chest.

“Aah” I looked away, my voice sounding convinced, “I get it.”

That’s right. Of course.
I betrayed her trust, selfishly confessed my feelings to her, and even “broke her heart”. It’s only natural that she doesn’t even want to see me …….

“I’m going……. Just make sure you lock the door.”

I felt …… that my hair was being pulled back, but if I stayed here any longer, I would only be putting extra pressure on Honami. I don’t want to do anything that would rush Honami into answering.
The only thing I can do for Honami now – though frustrating – would be to leave her side.

“I don’t want an answer right away. Just think about it when you get settled. –I’ll wait as long as I have to.”

After saying this, I stood up slowly. With Honami still standing there, I left the living room with an indescribable feeling of uneasiness in the pit of my tail.

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