Episode 73 – I Won’t Know Unless You Tell Me

“Health and Physical Education? Yeah, I’m taking it.”

“I’m sorry, that’s a roundabout way of putting it. I’m just saying, if you don’t moderate your relationships, you’re going to regret it.”

“Moderate……the relationship?”

I asked Sensei, who was still trying not to get to the heart of the matter, and she went to the bottom of the ventilation, lit the cigarette and said, [Once you have a child, there’s no point in talking about it.]

“T-that’s……understood.”

“You don’t understand. In fact, I came here to consult with you because I told you that Hyori wasn’t coming.”

“Wasn’t coming….eh, that means.”

“I don’t know yet. If something happens, are you prepared to drop out and work?”

“T-that’s……”

It was too sudden for me to understand what was going on.

I looked at Senpai, trying her best to hide her agitation, and she rubbed her stomach with her hand and said, [It’s not coming…] with a slightly bitter tone.

“Shion,…..is that possibly?”

“Yeah, it’s not coming. What should I do, Sendai kun……?”

Senpai looks like she’s about to cry.

That’s right, even I was so confused about what to do that I felt like my mind was going blank.

No way, it only happened once yesterday…no, I can’t say it didn’t happen.

I did what I wanted to do, what I thought I wanted to do, without thinking about Senpai.

As a result, if I had a child…….

“E-um. I am……sorry.”

“It’s not your fault, Sendai kun. It’s my fault.”

“I-I don’t think so. I……well, if it comes down to it……I’ll take full responsibility whether it comes down to it or not.”

“Responsibility……?”

“Y-yeah. I-if you’re okay with me, please marry me. I’m prepared to work to support you.”

I may be irresponsible for saying this.

But no matter what happens in the future, I want to be with Senpai.

I want to be with Shion.

“…..Either way, will you marry me?”

“O-of course, if you’re okay with me.”

“If it’s not coming, is it still okay?”

“T-that’s because……it’s my responsibility, too.”

“Yeah. So you’ll marry me either way?”

“Y-yeah.”

Senpai’s stiff expression crumbles a little.

She grabbed my hand, her cheeks turning slightly red.

Just as I wanted to hug Senpai, Taniguchi sensei said, [Hey, are you planning to have a baby here?]

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“Honestly, I know you two are close, but you need to get your act together.Well, no matter what happens, I’ll support you as long as you do it properly. I’m not a regular teacher, and if you’re in your 30s and missed your chance to get married, I’m jealous that you can think so much about your partner.”

“Sensei……yes, thank you.”

“Well, anyway, please check on Hyori for a few days. If you don’t feel well, you can come and talk to me again.”

Sensei said this and then tried to light a cigarette, but stopped.

Sensei smiled at me and said, [Just in case] but somehow it seemed that Sensei was also overworked.

She was probably trying to cheer up Senpai, who looked anxious from beginning to end.

If it were true, it wouldn’t be strange to get yelled at.

But Taniguchi sensei really understands senpai.

I think Senpai knows that too, which is why she came here.

……I wonder what I should talk to my parents about if I really have a child.

◇ 

“Sendai, I got some big news during lunch break.”

I was thrilled to hear that from Kaneko as soon as I returned to the classroom.

I was bracing myself for the thought that the rumors about me and Senpai were already out there.

“I finally hooked up with Takaya san.”

It was Kaneko’s own story.

“Oh, that.”

“Hey, you can’t say that about your best friend’s happy news.”

“A, I’m sorry. But it seemed like you had been together for a long time.”

“Even if that’s the case. I seriously thought it wasn’t easy to go from being less than a lover to being a lover. I wonder how all grownups get married after that.”

“Marriage, huh?”

I remember what I said to Senpai just now.

Will you marry me?

But if I have a child, I will have to do so.

Well, that’s not the case.

It’s like I’m saying I’ll marry her if I have no choice.

“Kaneko, how did you confess to Takaya san?”

“What, you want me to tell you such an embarrassing story?”

“No, it’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it.”

“Well, that’s fine.  You see, until now, I thought that she could tell by the atmosphere and the air, but she didn’t respond. When I told her that I liked her and wanted to go out with her, she got a little angry and said, [I didn’t understand because you didn’t say it clearly.] I realized that even if two strangers can communicate with each other, they can’t understand each other unless they reveal their true feelings to each other.”

“Heh.”

After all, we are strangers to each other, huh?

I’m sure that’s true.

I also had no idea that Senpai liked me until I talked to her properly.

And even now.　

I said I was going to marry her or take responsibility for her, but that was just a comforting thought.

Even Senpai might feel as if she made me say so.

I have to tell her how I really feel.

I still don’t know what Senpai really thinks.

“What the heck, Sendai, don’t tell me you’re going to propose to Hyori senpai?”

“Propose, huh. Yeah, that would be nice.”

“Eh?”

Kaneko said, [You’re joking, right?] Just as I was about to make a face, a chime rang.

He still looked like he wanted to ask me something, but I turned away from him and looked out the window.

To Senpai….let’s propose to Shion.

If we were high school students and we’ve only been dating for a while, people might laugh at me if I said something like that.

I can’t even imagine life without Shion anymore.

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