Source
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/16817330665217759411/episodes/16817330667557200551
……Today, as usual, I come to the counseling department.
I can’t deal with client by myself yet, but recently, Nakahara-kun and I are able to listen together.
I am too scared to talk to boys, so I only listen to girls, but I can relate to their problems every time they talk to me.
“I want to be brave, but I can’t easily tell senpai that I like senpai. ……”
I could sympathize so much with their problems, especially when it comes to love, that I would nod my head and say, “I get it!” I could sympathize with so much
I also want to confess my feelings to Nakahara-kun, but I can’t seem to step forward. I have the eyes of Higashino-san and others on me, and most of all, I think about what would happen if Nakahara-kun rejects me. I’m not sure I’ll be able to survive if Nakahara-kun hates me.
So, I really don’t feel that the problems these girls are having are anything personal to me. I want their love to mature and I want them to be happy.
“I-I’m rooting for you”.
I was throwing these words at them. I was so nervous when I first met them that I couldn’t say much more than a few words, but I wanted to at least say this.
I couldn’t say much, but if I could be of any help to these girls who were in the same situation,……, I always worked hard at my club activities, thinking about it.
“…… Hey, guys. If you want, why don’t we go to the mountains today?”
That day, Nakahara-kun said to me, Kitagawa-san, and Higashino-san, all members of the club.
There is no appointment with a client today, so I was thinking of going to the mountain near the school.
“Okay, but why go to the mountain?”
When I asked him that, he put his hand on his chin and said, “Well, I don’t know what to call it. ……” He seemed to be at a loss for an answer himself.
“Well, maybe a distraction?”
“A distraction?”
“Yes. We’ve been getting a lot more clients lately, so I thought I’d take a break once in a while.”
“I see.”
“So, if you want, why don’t we all go out for a while? I’m just asking if you guys want to go out for a little bit. Of course, if you are not in the mood, we can stay here in the club room.”
“Yeah, I don’t mind going to the mountains. I’m not very strong, so if you let me take a break while I climb, I’ll be fine.”
When I answered, both Kitagawa and Higashino answered his question.
“I don’t mind either. I don’t like the bugs, though.”
“I like it! I’ll go! Let’s all go together!”
So the four of us left the school after putting a sign on the clubroom door that said, “Today is a vacation,” and headed for the mountain that Nakahara-kun was aiming for.
After a 15-minute walk, we found the entrance to the mountain. The path was paved with asphalt, but it was surrounded by trees.
“I think there is a shrine up there. Let’s go up there if we want to go up there.”
The four of us lined up side by side and headed straight up the path.
The summer air was fading, and many of the leaves on the trees were withered. The asphalt you step on is also covered with dead leaves, making a rustling sound every time you walk on it.
“You know, I have always chosen a place like this when I want to be alone.”
Nakahara-kun looked up at the sky and began to talk.
“I like to be alone in a place with nature, like the mountains or the sea. I like being alone in such places.”
“What do you do when you are alone?”
Nakahara answered, “Thinking.”
“When I am alone in a large place, I can think about a lot of things. If I stay in a small room, I can only come up with narrow-minded, rushed answers.”
“Hee! Aren’t you lonely when you are alone?”
“Yes, I find it rather difficult to concentrate when there are other people around, so I prefer to be alone.”
“Is that so! I don’t think I can be alone. I always want to be with someone.”
“So you are not alone much then, Higashino-san?”
“Yes, I don’t really like to be alone~. It’s not fun and it’s lonely. What about everyone else? Nishida-san, do you prefer to be alone? Do you want to be with everyone?”
“M-me? I’m …….”
Higashino-san asked me a question, and I was at a loss for an answer for a while. It was about a minute after the question was asked that I managed to answer, though hesitantly.
“Umm, I feel more comfortable being alone, but I also feel lonely, I guess….
“Then would you prefer to be with everyone else?”
“Ummm……… a-as long as it’s with someone who is okay.”
“Someone you’re okay with?”
“‘If there’s a type of person I’m not good at, I might no longer be able to do it. I’d rather be alone than with someone I’m not good at.”
“I see! By the way, what kind of person is Nishida san’s type that you are not good at?”
“……What should I say, let’s see… ……I’m not good with pushy people.”
“Ah, Nishida san, you certainly don’t seem to be good at refusing sales and that kind of thing.”
“Yeah, …… I think I’m the type of person who can’t say no.”
“Hey, how about you, Kitagawa-san? Are you okay with being alone?”
“I don’t really care. I’ve never cared about that.”
“Really?”
“Well, I don’t like people to begin with.”
As expected, Higashino-san laughed at this answer.
…… Slowly taking in the view, we continued onward.
Gradually, the trees began to grow denser and the sunlight was blocked by their leaves. The sunlight through the thin trees left streaks of light on the ground.
“….Hey, Nakahara-kun? Can I ask you something?”
Higashino-san spoke to him in a somewhat serious tone.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nakahara-kun, do you have any dreams for the future?”
“A dream?”
“Yes.”
“Well, I guess I have a dream for ……. Well, I have a goal for the future, or rather, I have a goal in terms of …… preparedness. I just recently made one.”
“Goals?”
“I want to do my best to make myself and the people I care about happy.”
“Eh!? What a wonderful feeling! I thought you wanted to be a counselor or a psychiatrist or something like that.”
“Wanting to be a psychiatrist or a counselor is just a means to an end, you know. You get a job because it fulfills what you want to do, not because it’s your goal. Isn’t that the case with you, Higashino-san? You used to choose to be an idol because you wanted to make other people smile.”
“Yes, indeed.”
“If you have a clear idea of what your purpose is, you will have more scope for your work. If you get caught up in what you want to do, you will not be able to see what you really want to do.”
“Hmmm! Nakahara-kun is amazing, isn’t he? What you say is always so deep!”
“I-Is that so?”
“Yes! You are like a great teacher!
“mmm, when you say it so highly, it’s kind of embarrassing. …… I’m happy to hear it, though…”
“How can you always say such great things, Nakahara-kun?”
“Eeh? umm…..I’m not sure why …….”
As he walked away, Nakahara-kun folded his arms for a while.
“…Well, I guess there are some things I keep in mind. I try not to talk about nice things as much as possible.”
“Don’t say nice things?”
“Maybe I’m just twisted, but I don’t like beautiful things anyway. I feel a strong dislike for words that only look beautiful but are not heartfelt.”
“How can you tell if something is sincere?”
“I think you can tell by looking at a person’s behavior. ‘Let’s stop bullying!’ but when you actually talk to them about bullying, they just ignore it.”
“I see.”
“Anyone can say beautiful things that are only pretty on the surface. That is why I try never to say such things. It’s too rude to smoke in front of someone who is suffering.”
Nakahara-kun wrinkled his brow and spoke his feelings matter-of-factly with a stern face. Nakahara-kun, who is always mild-mannered, calm and collected, was unusually tense. Surprisingly, this may be the first time I have seen him like this.
He seemed to realize this himself, and after looking up at the sky, he uncrossed his arms and said, “Sorry guys”.
“I’m sorry guys, for talking such nonsense on such a beautiful day.”
“No! No, it’s not like that! Everything you talk about is interesting, Nakahara-kun!”
“No, no, no, that’s not true.”
Nakahara-kun accepted Higashino-san’s words with a wry smile.
……As we all walked around chatting like that, we gradually came to see the shrine Nakahara-kun had talked about before we climbed up.
It was a small shrine, and the site was not that large. The color of the torii gate had turned reddish black after being exposed to the wind and rain for so many years.
“What do you want to do? Do you want to go in?”
At Nakahara-kun’s suggestion, the four of us entered the shrine grounds side by side.
……saaaaa …………
The wind was blowing and the rustling of the trees sounded pleasant.
Shrines are strange places, and even though I’ve only taken one step through the torii gate, I feel strangely refreshed. Is it because I am Japanese? Is it because I feel that shrines are sacred places?
“Ah, a vending machine.”
Kitagawa-san said and strolled over to a vending machine inside the shrine grounds.
Then she pulled out some coins from her skirt pocket and used them to buy a juice.
“Great, I’ll buy something too.”
“Ah! Me too~!”
Following Kitagawa-san, Nakahara-kun and Higashino-san also went to the vending machine. I felt lonely being left out, so I ended up buying a juice from the vending machine.
I bought orange juice, Nakahara-kun bought tea, Higashino-san bought cider, and Kitagawa-san bought oshiruko (sweet red-bean soup).
“Do you like oshiruko? Kitagawa-san?”
When I asked her that, she nodded her head.
“Oshiruko is sweet.”
“Y-yes. Sure is.”
“Do you want some?”
“No, I’m fine.”
Kitagawa-san was drinking her oshiruko, holding the can carefully with both hands, her cheeks slightly relaxed.
Since we have had more opportunities to be in contact together as a counseling department, I have not been that afraid of Kitagawa-san.
She always seems to be a bit mousy and somewhat scary, but I think she’s just not very good at putting her feelings into words and is really a very pure person.
“…… hmm?”
I was staring at Kitagawa-san, and she seemed to have noticed it, glancing toward the oshiruko she was holding and then asking, “Nishida, do you want oshiruko?”
“Eh? No, no, no, I’m fine. Really, don’t worry about it.”
“But you were looking at me the whole time. You don’t have to be afraid of oshiruko. If it’s Nakahara and Nishida, you can have it.”
“Hmm? What is it? What’s wrong?”
At that moment, Nakahara-kun joined our conversation. He must have heard his name and wondered what we were talking about.
“Nakahara, do you want some oshiruko?”
“Huh? No, I’m good. I’m fine.”
“Why don’t you guys want oshiruko?”
“Well, ……, it’s not that I don’t like oshiruko. It’s just that it’s not exactly what I need to quench my thirst.”
“Muu …….”
With lips pouting, Kitagawa-san looked like a sulking child.
“Then, Kitagawa-san! Give me a bite!”
It was Higashino-san who cheerfully followed up at such times.
What I like about her is that she is always quick to intervene in situations like this, or when everyone is chatting together, she is always willing to share her kindness with everyone else.
“No, I won’t give it to Higashino.”
But for some reason, Kitagawa-san is cold toward Higashino-san. Whenever Higashino-san calls out to her, I feel that her face becomes even sterner than usual.
“Eh!? Why can’t I?!”
“Shut up and stay away from me.”
“Well, well, Kitagawa-san, don’t say that.”
Kitagawa-san is cold to Higashino-san’s lamenting. The composition of Nakahara-kun calming her down is often played out in the counseling department.
From my point of view, these three were very enviable people.
Nakahara-kun, needless to say, has a way of thinking that one would not expect from someone his age, and he is very calm and very gentle.
Kitagawa-san is a bit harsh, but she is honest with herself and says what she wants to say right away. I always wish I could speak as quickly as Kitagawa-san.
Higashino-san is just so cute and cheerful. She has a pretty face, of course, but above all, she is surprisingly attentive to others.
[That’s impossible. Because it’s Nakahara-kun.]
When it comes to Nakahara-kun, she can be a bit scary, but other than that, she is a really cheerful person.
(……I’m kind of tiny.)
I don’t have any good points about myself at all. I’m a gloomy person, I don’t have any special skills, and I have an ugly face. ……
I can’t stop hating myself to no end. This is also a regular occurrence every time.
I exhaled quietly, feeling like I had a heavy stone in my stomach.
….After relaxing at the shrine for a while, I paid my respects and then headed back down the mountain.
The wind was getting a little chilly and the sun was setting fast.
“Phew, that was a nice distraction today,”
Nakahara-kun muttered in a very satisfied tone.
We returned to the main gate of the school, our whole bodies were sweating from the long walk.
“Then, let’s go back to the club room. We have luggage to carry.”
As we all lined up in a row and walked down the hallway, we were approached by a girl who said, “Excuse me.”
It was a girl. She was holding a small paper bag in her hand and fidgeting somewhat.
(Oh, …… this is the girl from back then.)
I recognized her. She was the girl who came to the counseling department for relationship counseling about a week ago.
[I want to be brave, but it’s hard for me to tell senpai that I like senpai. ……]
(I remember she said she had a crush on her senpai. …… I wonder what happened after that?)
I stared at her seriously while thinking such a thing in my heart.
“What’s wrong?”
Nakahara-kun asked her, “Oh, um, …… sorry, I actually wanted to give you this ……” and took out something in a paper bag.
It was a cookie in a transparent parcel that looked homemade.
“Eh? Can I have this ……?”
Nakahara-kun asked in confusion, and she shook her head. Then, looking at Nakahara-kun and me alternately, she said, her cheeks flushed red.
“Actually,…… the other day you asked me for advice about this matter,…… I’ve decided to start going out with senpai yesterday.”
“Eh! R-Really?!”
I told her so and she replied, “Yes,” with a bashful smile on her face.
She then came up to me and handed me a paper bag.
“Thank you so much.”
“Eh ……?”
“I brought you these cookies as a thank you for asking me for advice.”
“Oh, no,…… it’s because you were so brave, and I didn’t …… anything.”
“No, I didn’t. The two of you in the counseling department listened to my concerns, so I was able to muster up the courage to confess my feelings to senpais. I was especially happy that at that time,…… you told me that you were supporting me,…….”
“……!”
[I-I’m rooting for you]
“I was remembering the words you told me over and over again when I tried to confess my feelings to senpai.”
“B-but I …… nothing else ……. Nakahara-kun gave me a lot more advice and various other …… things.”
I was dismayed when Nakahara-kun approached me and said, “Nishida-san.”
He lowered the corners of his eyes and looked at me with a very gentle gaze.
“……………………”
Seeing his face like that made me feel somewhat at ease, and I accepted a cookie from her.
“……I-I’m glad if my words gave you courage. I hope you will be happy from now on with that senpai of yours.”
She looked really happy and smiled when I managed to say that, despite my nervousness.
Then, bowing to me repeatedly, she left.
“Good for you, Nishida-san.”
“Nakahara-kun ……”
“Your feelings must have reached her.”
“……………………”
Nakahara-kun’s voice was very calm and full of tenderness.
“Amazing, Nishida-san! She was really happy!”
“Nishida, let’s eat those cookies with care.”
Higashino-san and Kitagawa-san also smiled at me, saying so.
“…………………….”
I was kind of heartbroken, to the point of wanting to cry.
Oh, thank God. I’m so glad.
I’m so glad that her wish, her love, came true.
I’m as happy as if it were me.
Even though my speech was slurred and I couldn’t speak well at all, my support was her food for thought.
“……………………”
I squeezed the paper bag she gave me to my chest.
Although it was not physically hot or warm, it felt very warm and fuzzy.
There are words that are short and easy to utter, but they are heartfelt.
Such words will shine in our hearts forever.
─ From Mother Teresa
(TL/N : guys if you like this series, don’t forget to support author san, he really needs it, apparently this novel is taken from his sadness and such things..)
Author’s note
https://kakuyomu.jp/users/gentlemenofgakenoue/news/16817330667158760364)
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