Source
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/16817330665217759411/episodes/16817330666022072198
…… I was getting very scared.
Yesterday, I went to the counseling club as usual and was going to have a chat with Nakahara-kun, but as soon as I entered the club room, …… Nakahara-kun said to me, “Oh, sorry, Nishida-san”
“I have one counseling client today,…….”
“I see. I’ll come back tomorrow.”
“Yeah, I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s okay. Good luck with your club activities.”
I smiled at Nakahara-kun, who looked apologetic, and was about to leave when …… I suddenly asked him a question.
“…… Um, Nakahara-kun…”
“Yes?”
“That counseling client, is she the twin-tailed …… girl that Nakahara-kun had been telling me about before, the one who cried on the stairs?”
“Oh, yes, yes. How did you know?”
“…………………….”
I looked at Nakahara’s right arm. His right arm was bandaged, and I had heard from him that it had been bitten by the twin-tailed girl in question.
“……Now, Nakahara-kun, it may be forward of me to say this, but do you really need to take care of someone who does that to your arm?”
“What do you mean by taking care of her?”
“Listen to her problems and care about her,……. No, being kind to everyone might be a good thing for Nakahara-kun, but I might be somewhat …… worried.”
“Haha, Nishida-san is so kind. Thank you for worrying about me.”
“……………………”
“But she definitely wants …… someone to listen to her. If that “someone” is me, I’ll listen. That’s how I feel.”
“………… Nakahara-kun.”
“And I’m not nice to everyone.”
“Eh?”
When I asked back, Nakahara-kun was smiling with a slightly sad expression on his face.
I left the club room and tried to go home from school, but I just couldn’t …… get rid of the blur in my chest. I stopped in front of the main gate and could not leave the school.
Right now, Nakahara-kun and that twin-tailed girl are alone in the counseling department. I couldn’t help but feel my chest tightening at this fact.
(What if that twintail girl falls in love with Nakahara-kun? ……)
Such thoughts run around and around in my head.
Because Nakahara-kun is kind. He is really kind. What girl wouldn’t like to be treated so kindly like that?
At least I am …… absolutely happy. I am definitely happy. Thinking about it makes me fidgety all the time.
(……No, what am I thinking? I’m not Nakahara-kun’s girlfriend, and it would be a nuisance to …… him if I worried about him like that. I’m such a …… such a ……)
I try to erase the anxiety that pops into my head like that, but my legs still won’t move. I clutched the hem of my skirt tightly and bit my lip.
“…………………….”
After standing there for a few minutes and hesitating for a few minutes, I decided to wait for the twin-tailed girl to come out, once I was just outside the main gate.
I did not want to say anything to her. But I wanted to see what she looked like at a glance.
Other students glanced at me sideways as I stood by the main gate. I stood there and waited, enduring their glances.
It was after ……18 oclock and time for the counseling department to finish. Finally, the girl showed up.
Her long orange twin-tail hair was fluttering, and she had a thoughtful expression on her face.
“……………………”
As soon as I saw her, I was …… so shocked.
What a cute little girl, was the first thing I thought.
She still has the innocence of a young child, but her face is so beautiful, and her red eyes are as clear as jewels. I often see the phrase “like a doll” used in manga, but with her, I really had the impression that she was a walking Western doll.
(Such a pretty girl and Nakahara-kun were together a while ago. ……)
As soon as I recognized this again, my anxiety, which I had been …… suddenly struggling to suppress until a moment ago, increased all at once.
If this girl fell in love with Nakahara, I wouldn’t stand a chance. Ugly people like me are easily dismissed. Yes, someone like me…
“……………………”
At that time, I happened to see a girl with twin-tail hair. I felt as if my heart had been grabbed tightly, and my body froze.
“……………………”
I don’t know what she was thinking, but the twin-tailed girl looked at me and frowned. It was as if to say, “What are you looking at?” It was an expression as if to say.
(…… Oh, no. I’m definitely not the type to like this girl.)
This kind of strong-willed person is not only for men, but even for women, I feel I am not good at it. I always feel pressured by that ora ora ora power and feel small and deflated.
She walked past me and left the school.
—————————————–
The next day after ……. I was at school with dark circles under my eyes.
In the end, I didn’t sleep a wink last night. I kept seeing that girl’s face in my mind and I couldn’t get rid of it at all.
The moment her eyes met mine and she frowned, it kept repeating in my head over and over again. Then, when it was over, she would say to me, “You’re ugly.”
I even began to have a fantasy of her saying to me
[How can you want to be around Nakahara-kun with a face like that?]
Like that, the girl in my fantasy glared at me and told me.
“……Eeh, about this Iemitsu, the third generation of the Tokugawa family~”
The teacher was going through the lesson in a matter-of-fact way, but I couldn’t get it into my head at all. Drowsiness and anxiety took over my mind, and the notebook in my hand remained blank.
But all my classmates were silently copying what was written on the board into their notebooks. The crunching sound of the mechanical pencils reached my ears.
Listening to that sound makes me feel like I’m even more of a failure in the class, and it makes my heart ache.
(I-I need to focus …… too. Forget about that girl for now,…… and go to class, to class,……)
[In general, how do you feel about Nakahara-kun?]
But still, my imaginary girl appears in my head again. Even scarier than that scowling face I saw in reality, …… with a frightening face, as if she wasn’t human.
(……I’m….about Nakahara-kun.)
[Are you going to fall for him again? You said you’ve learned your lesson about senpai, but you’re going to like him again if he’s a little nicer to you? You were afraid of being betrayed, but in the end you’re going to get lonely and hang on to someone again?]
(………… No, I just …… Nakahara-kun said I could come to the club room… …and I was happy about that……)
Karikarikari……
I hear the sound of my classmates moving their mechanical pencils.
I hear them leaving me behind.
[Well, it doesn’t matter either way. Whether you like Nakahara-kun or not. Either way, Nakahara-kun is not interested in you.]
“……………………”
[Nakahara-kun is mine. He would be more than happy to have a cute and cheerful girl like me next to him.]
“…………, no, ……”
Karikarikari
[It’s not fun to go out with an ugly, shady girl like you. You should know your place.]
“I know …… that, so don’t …… push me any further ……… …”
Karikarikarikarikari
[Hey, are you worth living? People like you are not worth living. You can’t keep up with your classes, and no one likes you. If you were to disappear at this very moment, no one would notice.]
“Stop …… stop ……”
Karikarikarikarikari
[Come on, quick What are you doing?]
Get out of here and die.
“Stop ittt!!!!!!”
…… I was out of my seat before I knew it.
The screams spread throughout the classroom, and the “stop” sounded slightly reverberant.
“Haa…… haa……!”
I didn’t even wipe the sweat that was pouring from my forehead like a waterfall. It dripped onto my desk and notebook, and I just watched it silently.
“W-what’s wrong? Nishida.”
I came to my senses when the teacher called out to me.
I was the center of attention, both from the teacher and from all my classmates. All eyes were on me.
I couldn’t stand it any longer, so I held my mouth as if I was going to throw up and whispered, “I’m sorry, I’m leaving early,” then I quickly left the classroom without my luggage and ran into the women’s restroom.
“Gee—-! Gee!”
I opened my mouth to the toilet bowl. But nothing came out, just a few drops of saliva.
I sighed, thinking in my head that what was coming up from my stomach was not physical, but mental.
“……………………”
Feeling weak, I wobbled my way to the counseling department.
Of course, He was still in class now. There was no way the clubroom would be open, and there was no way Nakahara-kun would be there.
“Still, I wanted to come here.”
“…… Haa.”
With my back to the door of the clubroom, I crouched down on the spot.
I sat on the floor with my buttocks on the floor and my knees bent in a triangular position.
“…………………….”
At this point, I was feeling furiously sleepy. In addition to the fact that I hadn’t been able to sleep at all since last night, I was also feeling a rush of fatigue from having left the classroom, and my eye lids were already heavy.
“….., Nakahara-kun.”
I managed to try to picture his face in my head to keep from having a nightmare.
But it didn’t come in time. As if fainting and losing consciousness, I had fallen asleep before I knew it. ……
I was awakened from that …… sleep by a shaking of my shoulder.
Someone was tapping me on the shoulder, small and gentle.
“…… hmm.”
I opened my eyes and saw Nakahara-kun crouched down next to me, looking at me with concern.
“Is everything all right? Nishida-san.”
“……………………”
“What’s wrong? You look kind of pale, you know?”
“…… Nakahara, kun.”
When I called his name with a gravelly voice, I felt a chill run through my entire body.
Then, as it was, my itchy nose sneezed.
“Oh, it’s not good. You’ll get cold if you sleep here.”
Nakahara took out a can with a lid from the pocket of his school run.
“Here you go, Nishida-san. Here’s some cocoa.”
“Eeh……?”
“I just bought it from the vending machine, so it’s warm. Here you go.”
“…………, but this.”
“Hmm?”
“Not Nakahar kuna’s?”
“Ah, no, no. This is the one I bought for Nishida san.”
“……………………”
“Nishida-san was sleeping in front of the club room, and she was shivering with cold, so I bought this for her before I woke her up.”
“……………………”
“Well then, here. In case you don’t feel like drinking, you don’t have to drink. It will warm you up just to have it.”
I blinked my eyes and accepted the cocoa from Nakahara-kun as he asked.
I opened the lid and sipped a little of the cocoa. The warm cocoa smelled good in my nose, and I felt relieved and relaxed.
“How do you like it? Nishida-san. Is it warm?”
“……Yes.”
“I see, that’s good!”
“……………………”
“Did you have a bad day? If you want, you can talk to me.”
“……………………”
“Oh, or do you want to sleep now? If that’s the case, you can sleep inside the club room. I’ll try to turn down anyone who comes to me for advice today.”
“……………………”
……I couldn’t take it anymore.
Nakahara kun’s kindness was so soothing …… that tears couldn’t help but overflow.
The hands that hold the cocoa are trembling and won’t stop.
(…… like)
I clearly said to him in my mind.
(Nakahara-kun, I love you. I love you so much.)
After being betrayed by senpai, I thought that I could never fall in love with someone again.
I had given up on the idea of opening my heart to anyone.
“N-Nishida-san ……? What’s wrong?”
“……………………”
“……, do you need a handkerchief?”
“……, no, I’m fine.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“Thank you, Nakahara-kun. Always, always, really ……”
Yes, I want to tell you all how much I am saved by Nakahara-kun.
I am so happy, you know? I want to tell him that he supported me. I want to tell him that.
…… but I don’t have the courage to do so yet.
(But …… but already, my heart is fixed now. I love him. I really like him. If I can be with him, I will ……)
I would do anything.
“……………………”
Suddenly, I saw someone walking toward me from the other side of Nakahara-kun’s back,…… the far side of the hallway.
I had already guessed who …… it was.
“What are you doing? Nakahara.”
The person who came this way asked Nakahara-kun that question.
With her bright red eyes, she looked down at the two of us.
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