Source
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/16817330649624871134/episodes/16817330650938060663
♡
I got into a bad habit.
I was so worried that he might have brought a girl while I was taking a bath.
You’re so mean, Sendai kun.
You know I’m a worrywart.
Besides, you don’t have to wash the dishes.
Even if you don’t do that, even if you can’t do anything, I still love you.
But I never told you in words that I love you.
That must have made you feel lonely.
I’m sorry. I’m a shy person.
I’m sorry I made you feel uneasy.
I’m sorry for making you feel anxious.
I’ll put it into words, okay?
“I love you. I love you, Sendai kun.”
I said it clearly in his ear as we sat side by side on the sofa.
Then, Sendai kun’s eyes were swimming.
I told him what he wanted me to say, but he got flustered.
Cute. I love you.
“I love you.”
Once I said it, I felt less shy.
Maybe it’s thanks to Sendai kun.
I feel I can be very honest today.
I’m sorry for being jealous.
I love you so much, so please understand that I get jealous.
“I love you, Sendai kun.”
♤
To tell the truth, nothing from the TV show had entered my head.
I was so busy listening to my senpai muttering, [I love you.]
No matter how much I knew she was making fun of me, the destructive power of those words was so great that it didn’t take long for her to drive me over.
All I could think about was Senpai.
What I was going to do after this, what homework I had to do, whether it was safe for her not to go home, what tomorrow’s timetable was, and all these things were no longer important to me.
I just wanted to enjoy the time I had with Senpai, being stuck together like this.
“Senpai……”
“You’re calling that again?”
“Ah, I’m sorry……Shion san, I……like you too.”
“Yeah. I love you.”
“……”
Senpai generously said what I wanted to hear.
I also got carried away and kept saying [I love you too] over and over again.
The time of saying that to each other continued for a while.
Whether this was a lie or the truth, it didn’t matter anymore.
The only thing that mattered was that we were happy.
When I came to my senses, the clock had struck ten at night.
“……Should we go to bed soon?”
We have school tomorrow, so we can’t stay like this forever.
I looked into Senpai’s eyes and said so,
“We’re going to sleep together tonight too, right?”
She asked me, as if probing a little.
“…….If it’s okay with Shion san, then of course I would like to do so.”
“Yeah. We’re partners, so it’s normal.”
“Normal……yeah, I guess so.”
I was wondering if it was normal for people to sleep together from the first day they started dating.
When I think about it, we started sleeping together before we started dating, so even though nothing happened, I don’t think I’m in a position to care about common sense anymore.
I made up my mind and headed to my room, pulling Senpai’s hand.
For the first time since I started going out with her, I invited her into my room.
“….Go ahead.”
The room is the same as usual, a small room where the position of furniture has not changed for more than 10 years.
However, the moment I stepped into the room, my heart felt like it was going to burst.
When Senpai came to my room for the first time yesterday, I didn’t even have time to realize how nervous I was because I didn’t know what was going on.
When I think about sleeping with Senpai again, I can’t help but think about various things.
“…Should we sleep now?”
“Yeah. We should.”
“……Yes.”
Senpai is an adult, so I don’t think there’s any way she doesn’t understand what it’s like to be defenseless like this in a boy’s room.
If we’re lovers, it’s okay to….k-kiss, right?
No, is it okay?
Is it really true that sleeping together equals anything goes?
I don’t know, I’ve never had that experience.
I wonder if Senpai knows.
“……”
Gently, we got into bed side by side.
The stuffed animal I took yesterday is still next to my pillow today, but I wonder if it will be squeezed together with it.
If she hugs me like she did yesterday, I’m…….
“Sendai kun.”
“Y-yues?”
“Aren’t you going to turn off the light?”
“Ah, r-right. Then, I’ll turn off the light.”
I can’t seem to keep my normal mind when Senpai whispers in my ear.
Once the room darkens, Senpai disappears from view.
But I can clearly hear Senpai’s breathing next to me.
I can reach out my hand and there she is.
“……”
“Sendai kun, isn’t it too small for just the two of us?”
“N-no, it’s not like that. Shion san, are you okay?”
“Yeah. I’d prefer it to be smaller.”
Gently, Senpai’s hand touches my body.
Because it was dark, I could feel it more clearly than when I could see.
I have finally reached the limit of my patience.
“……Shion-san. I, I……”
I want to hold her like this.
I want to hold her hand like this.
I want to…..kiss her like this.
“What’s wrong?”
“……Can I kiss you?”
I asked without thinking.
Normally, this kind of thing is done by letting the mood or flow or something like that take over, and it’s not something you should bother to ask before you do it.
I don’t know how to create that mood, or even what kind of mood would be acceptable, so I had no choice but to ask.
If she refused, that would be the end of it.
I held her hand and waited for her answer with my eyes closed.
Then,
“……Hmm?”
I felt something soft against my lips.
I opened my eyes and saw Senpai’s beautiful face in front of me.
I could see it clearly even in the dark.
Senpai was kissing me.
“Ah……”
“Is this okay?”
“Eh……u-um…….”
“Not enough?”
“U-um……eh, hm?”
I was caught off guard, or rather, I was at a loss for words, not even knowing what had happened yet.
Then Senpai asked, [Is kissing enough?]
With those words, I felt as if the blood in my body was rushing.
“…..S-Senpai.”
“I’m back to being Senpai again?”
“S-sorry…..earlier.”
“Kiss. You said you wanted to kiss.”
“……”
She lay down next to me again and took my hand in hers.
I was in a panic due to the sudden event.
I didn’t even have time to think about pushing down on impulse or anything like that.
The thumping sound of my heart was too loud.
I froze, looking up at the ceiling.
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This is the most awkward dialog I’ve ever laid my eyes upon