Episode 17 

I wanted a normal family.  I just wanted to be treated kindly. I wanted to smile normally.

Normal. Normal. Normal. I wanted the normal. I wanted to be a normal family.

But those people weren’t looking for me, an ordinary person with no outstanding abilities.

What they wanted was an excellent son. With that hope in mind, those people gave me the name Hidetaka.

They wanted a child who was superior to others. It doesn’t matter about personality, emotion or age. Those people just wanted the ability. I’m sure everyone was good for that.

Whether it is someone else’s or a friend’s child.

――――You’re no good anymore. You’re nowhere near as good as Alice. It is impossible for you to inherit the house.

At that moment when my father clearly told me, my role was over.

To my father, I was no longer his son. He no longer wanted to see me, who was no longer the successor of the Tojo family, but who was just born with the name of Tojo.

My parents’ expectations fell on Alice.

Alice does things that I couldn’t do, like nothing.

She was given the same challenge and she will definitely do it much faster than I am.

The result is different. Things are different. My parents praise her and say that she is very different from me, and they become obsessed with her. If she can do it, they’ll add more challenges.

And Alice does it. She looked down silently, without making a single complaint. Day after day of repeating that.

Alice did not cry. She did not argue or rebel, but simply continued obediently following what those people told her.

She couldn’t resist in the first place. After all, Alice lost her parents once.

Then my parents, who she met through friends, took her in. Alice probably has no relatives.

In other words, Alice has no place to return anymore. There is nowhere to run away.

That’s why she had no choice but to do what she was told to do, and I can see it right away if I look at it.

If she doesn’t, Alice’s whereabouts will be gone. She might have thought that she would be treated worse, like me.

When I realized this, I asked my mother to stop. My father probably won’t listen to me anymore, but my mother…I had a glimmer of hope.

―――Alice’s fine. Unlike you, she’s very good.

But it was no good. My mother laughed at my plea.

At that time, I had to understand.

In the eyes of my parents, all they saw was Alice. They never listen to what I say. I’m just someone who was born in this house and can’t be thrown away.

To them, Alice is the only child of their own.

After realizing that, I stopped expecting anything from my parents.

I also took a distance from Alice, who received the love of my parents.

I didn’t hate Alice.

However, whenever I’m near her, negative emotions like envy and regret inevitably overflow.

It was disgusting. Like my parents, I don’t want to turn my cold eyes to the girl who became my sister.

I never wanted to be the kind of person who could do that.

I didn’t want to hate Alice, so I left Alice.

I told myself that the choice was definitely not wrong.

…I looked away from the fact that I was ignoring Alice’s feelings.

The normality I wanted was for my family. It’s no longer available forever.

At the same time, the meaning of life. Why am I still alive when no one wants me to?

I can’t count the number of times I’ve thought about this.

―――Hidetaka, are you okay? Don’t cry.

There was a child who hugged me like that.

It was gentle. I was happy. I had someone hug me for the first time.

I will not forget that warmth.

I decided to live for her. I had decided, I should have—-but I betrayed Amane.

I  returned to Alice, who was crying just like I was at that time.

I can’t just leave her alone. So, I――

“Please wake up, Nii san.”

Somewhere far away, I felt like I could hear a voice calling me.

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