Episode 30 – Unable to save Kisaki, she falls to the ground

Kisaki couldn’t help but react to the term “monster,” Kamisato Rika.

[That woman, that incomprehensible woman.]

[Yeah, she is someone who is difficult for you to understand, but for me she is someone who has given me enlightenment.]

[You think wrong.]

[If we were the same, I wouldn’t have said goodbye. Kamisato is Nagai kun’s childhood friend, but she is not just a childhood friend. She is his absolute ally. Once you made Kamisato angry, it was as if your defeat was confirmed.]

Kisaragi looked up and let out a breath through her nose.

[For Kamisato, his absolute ally, your affair was a bad move, like break-dancing on a breech. Therefore, she made a move. To crush you to the bone.]

[I think the arrangements were already in place when she ran away with Nagai kun at the cultural festival. I don’t know exactly how she did it, but she must have been elaborating a plan to push you.]

[That’s how you were pushed into a corner. What Kamisato wanted was an apology. If I were Kamisato, I would have asked for the same thing. However, the choice you made was escape. You did not change your mind. Thus, I met Kamisato.]

[Meeting Kamisato made me realize how serious she was. She don’t actually say it out loud, but she’s pretty pissed off. IShe gets pretty serious for her childhood friend. I could never do that. At that point, I realized. I couldn’t be serious, and that I wouldn’t last long with you, who was not serious in any way.]

[That’s my thought. But people who are obsessed with love are terrifying. I don’t want to make enemies with them. And I now understand that nothing can be gained by being close to a person like you.]

Kisaki pleaded. She can still start over, and if things are different, she will correct them as much as she can.

So please reconsider.

She pleaded. It was a heartfelt cry.

[I’m sorry.]

And.

[Goodbye.]

The answer was short and terse.

The pity was gone from Kisaragi. It was humiliating that he seemed to have a weight lifted off his shoulders and seemed to be having more fun than he always did with her—.

＊　＊　＊

“……that said.”

“You remember every word, don’t you?”

“Of course I do. Because Hikaru’s words are like an oracle !”

“You’re done with Kisaragi. You are sad. So, what do you want from me?”

It’s this woman after all. Even though she’s had a rough time, she’s still the same person.

“Won’t you start over?”

“……”

Her voice was sweet. It was the kind of voice that never betrayed my worst expectations.

“I shouldn’t have cheated on you. I wasn’t faithful to Nagai kun. So I want to wipe out our relationship and start over from scratch, or rather, from zero.”

Kisaki continued.

“She says I’m a lousy woman. I’ve had relationships with all kinds of men. But even without that, I still think Nagai kun was important to me.”

“When it comes to words of self-defense, you suddenly find yourself on this side.”

“Nagai kun……”

“You want to be forgiven now and start over. I understand that kind of spirit.”

“So, you know–“

My thoughts were fixed. I was disgusted, but I had to say it clearly.

“I’ve had enough of this, you piece of shit.”

“P-piece of shit?”

“I won’t correct it. Because it’s the truth. You were dumped by your true love and cheated by your second best. So you want to start over with me, the third one?　Don’t make me laugh ! Because you want to make yourself look good, you hide the fact that you are cheating, and to top it off, you cry and beg. If you can’t see things objectively, you can fall so low.”

Kisaki’s breathing became ragged. I wouldn’t go so far as to say she was hyperventilating, but I could tell she was terrified.

I don’t care. This woman had to be hurt once. I made Rika stop, but that’s because it wasn’t me.

The matter must be settled between the two of us.

“How can you say such a terrible thing? Kisaragi and you ! At first you pretend to be a friend, but in the end you shun me harshly……yes, all men are like that, after all. That’s why I can’t believe it. No matter how much I try, nothing comes back to me.”

“I don’t think you can get any sympathy from me if you argue for your own reasons.”

“Because you don’t know……Nagai kun, you can say such things because you don’t know me. You don’t know why I became this kind of woman, so don’t talk like you know me !”

She’s hopeless.

At least from the beginning, it’s useless to say anything.

Even if I had to go through this, she still has no intention of changing her philosophy. She has gone so far.

Even if she continues to live like this, she will only continue on the shortest route to the bottom. Even if I try to save her, it will be in vain if she refuses to listen to me and has no intention of reflecting on what she has done.

“…..Nagai kun, I want to start over, after all. I’ve said many terrible things, but I still love you, Nagai kun ! The fact that you were naive and straightforward, and the fact that you were serious about love…it had to be Nagai kun, after all !”

“–It’s too late.”

“It’s not late.”

“It is. If we go back to that day and you had apologized for your choice, the present could have been different. But you can’t rewind time. The choice you made was irrevocable. That’s all.”

“Ah, ah, ah, ah.”

“You had your chance. Even if we don’t get back together, you could have apologized to me. On the off-chance we could have been friends. But you didn’t take my hand.”

Even if she realizes the importance of something after it is lost, she cannot grasp it again. You cannot make the impossible possible.

“So I say, I can’t get into a relationship with you. I will never get involved with you again. Don’t think that you have a chance to get back together with me, even if you apologize. I hope we can start over again in a new life.”

Kisaki fell to her knees. I could feel all the strength in her body draining out.

It was only for a moment that she had been able to reach a positive climax. She had hit rock bottom, even lower than before.

“Bye, piece of shit.”

I did not look back.

From this moment on, Kisaki finally became a woman of the past.

I had shoved her away with unwanted and dirty words. But this was Kisaki’s fault. It was because of her beliefs.

I slammed the door shut with a thud of my foot. I heard a piercing cry. There was not the slightest trace of pity left in my heart.

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