Episode 40 – Sora’s origins and his honesty

Warm hands.
The heat is transmitted to me through the back of my hand.

Desire huh …….

“I’m glad you told me all about it, Saara.”
“Yeah”
“I don’t think I can sum it up in one word, so please hear me out.”

Saara nodded silently and removed her hand as if reluctant to part with it.

“When I first learned that Saara was Ayato, I was surprised at how much she had changed. Seeing Saara changing for the better,…… I compared myself to her.”

Unbeknownst to me, Saara had improved herself beyond compare.
In exchange, I grew up as the parallel of the old days and entered ninth grade.

In the third year, I started to hide away from…… people because of that incident.
I wish I could spend my time without any trouble.

But what about Saara?

What I understand from what she just told me is that she’s in a situation.
Saara’s situation was the same as mine.
She was targeted and looked at strangely by her class.

However, the only thing that was the same was our circumstances.
Saara was inspired and changed in response to her circumstances.

“I was terribly disappointed in myself. In hindsight, I should have just stood up for myself, since it was the other person’s fault for making such a false confession. I guess it was my weak heart that made me run away from it and drag it all the way through high school.”
“T-That’s not true. ……”
“At least that’s what I thought.”

He is a big, reclusive, round boy.
I pull the hand of that favorite friend of mine, rejecting the advances of the other preschoolers.
A male friend who just follows behind me all the time.
A distant, distant memory.

Now Saara is the most beautiful girl in the school, a literal and martial arts princess.
She’s the first one to notice me when no one else asks me out, and she’s the first one to ask me out.
I, who always avoided standing out, and she, who walks in front of everyone.
I’ve been living my life now since Saara moved in.

In other words, I’ve been “overtaken” by her.
I’ve avoided putting it into words, but I’m sure it’s a sense of inferiority, a sense of defeat, an envy that’s too far from …… jealousy.
Her radiance is so dazzling that it would burn my eyes if my vision wasn’t darkened by her bangs.

“I don’t know if I’m worthy. I’m sure the answer will be that I don’t deserve you.”
“……!”
“But since I know that Saara will probably conclude that I am, and I know she won’t like it, I’m going to go out on a limb here and do what I think is right.”

Saara’s eyebrows furrowed for a moment, but then she looked at me blindingly, as if she had been startled.

“One day I thought to myself, Why am I cooking so much?”
“Cooking?”
“I thought I was normal, that I was really unremarkable, that I had no personality. I thought …… that this variety of ingredients and seasonings is something that is unique to me.”

I was like this before I joined the cooking club.
For some reason, I was a sucker for seasonings and condiments, and I was a sucker for unusual ingredients.

“Saara was surprised to see my rice cooker and seasonings, wasn’t she?”
“Well, of course I was surprised. I came prepared with the idea that I definitely know more about this kind of thing than you.”
“I see, surprise….Finally it’s done.”
“Hee?”

Saara is surprised at the outlandish words.
Well, I guess you’re right. I’m the only one who can understand this story.

“Until very recently, I thought that my love of unusual things and my love of cooking were simply my hobbies. But I was wrong.”
“…… wrong?”
“I was sure I wanted to get my revenge.”

When you get hit, you want to hit back.
This is especially true when you are a child.

“That the guy I’ve been waving around for so long has outsmarted me by putting that wasabi-soaked stuff in there.”
“……!”
“That day I thought, ‘Next time I want to be the one to surprise him’. But I couldn’t come up with an onigiri that had more impact than the wasabi-zuke until the very end.”

Yes
I tried a lot of ingredients and my mother allowed everything.
But in the end, I just bought whatever my parents liked. There was a limit to the ingredients I could prepare.

In the end, without being able to fulfill that wish even once, Ayato decided to move out.
Ayato cried and hated it, but I hated it too.

I couldn’t imagine being separated from her.
I still hadn’t gotten back at her. I would not allow her to win and run away.
We should be together more. Together until I win. We’ll be together forever.

“I thought I had nothing, but I had my own unique personality. I had the ability and preparation to respond to the selfish princess’s request for the world’s most delicious porridge. It all started with Saara herself.”
“S-Sora kun…..!”

We’ve talked this far. It’s about time I made my feelings clear, too.

“If there are two, there will always be a superior one. There is no man in this school who can match you. I want to say this on top of that.”

I wrap my little hands around Saara’s like she did.
There is something embarrassing about speaking my honest feelings.
Still, I want to tell her right now.

“Saara’s best man, it has to be me”
“……!”
“Even if I don’t say it publicly, even if it’s good enough the way it is. I …… want to be in a relationship with Saara that we can both recognize as a romantic relationship.”

My face is hot.
My hands are hot.
But Saara’s hands might be hotter.

Saara eventually …… half-wrapped my hand back and began to cry.

“M-Me…..me too….! The girl Sora kun’s deserve, must be me, I always thought of that….!”
“…Yeah”
“What if it wasn’t, I was scared …… just imagining that Sora kun might have had a partner long ago, I was scared, scared ……!”

…… Well, Saara remembered me all the way back

“Thank goodness ……! 10 years of nothing….I’ve been rewarded …… properly!”
“…… don’t get too down on yourself, okay? I’ll get depressed.”
“Y-yeah…I’m sorry I’m such a… …… character.”
“So, you know, ……”

As such, it took quite a while for Saara to stop crying.
After not speaking to each other for a while, we made hot tea again and …… laughed together, as if we finally felt each other.

From someone else’s point of view, too soon.
From our point of view, too slow.
Such is our relationship.

On this day, Saara and I officially became lovers.
Summer was about to begin.

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