Source
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/822139843121925685/episodes/822139844267578667
“I’m sorry, Karen. I can’t… date you yet.”
“…”
The emotion drained from Karen’s expression.
The light faded from her eyes, her gaze unfocused… Her trembling hand grabbed the hem of my shirt.
“Ahaha… I knew it… You probably hate the idea of someone like me being your girlfriend… I’m not attractive, and I couldn’t help you when you were suffering…”
Kareen took a step back from me… and bowed her head.
“I’m sorry. Senpai… I’m sorry I ended up liking you… I’m truly sorry. It must have been a bother to have someone you didn’t like show affection towards you…”
Saying that, Karen grabbed her bag and turned her back to me.
“—Wait a second!”
I grabbed her clothes without thinking.
“…What is it, Senpai? …Ah. If it’s me, I’ll live my life so I won’t bother you, so you can rest easy…?”
“No, that’s not it… I rejected your confession not because I dislike you… ! Didn’t I tell you? ‘I can’t date you yet’…!”
“…?”
Karen turned back to me, startled.
—She was crying.
Tears overflowed from her eyes, her expression a mess.
“Ah… I-I’m sorry. You probably don’t want to see me crying, right?”
Does Karen really like me?
Does she genuinely… like me…?
“—I’m happy about your feelings, Karen.”
“Huh…?”
“You see, I’ve never had a girl like me before… And I’m really happy that someone as cute and kind as you likes me.”
“…B-but Senpai. You said you couldn’t date me…”
“—Not yet… I guess.
“I… barely know anything about Karen. Well… since Karen was a game heroine, I know her hobbies and personality… but it’s complicated. How should I put this?”
Scratching my cheek, I thought it over—
“Even though I know her as knowledge, I don’t actually know Karen… I mean—”
“…What do you mean?”
“Remember how you said the other day, ‘There’s no reason needed to like someone’? Lately, I’ve started to understand that way of thinking too.”
I turned my gaze back to Karen… and smiled softly.
“You see, I know everything about Karen. What she likes, what her personality is like, what her charms are, how adorable she is, how devoted she is… I know it all. But just looking at that information alone, I could never fall for Karen. Because… those are just reasons you come up with after you’ve already fallen for someone.”
If you could fall for someone just based on information alone.
That would mean… you fell for them because of a reason.
Because they’re cute. Because they’re kind. Because they’re devoted. Because they’re rich… and so on.
All of those are reasons you come up with after you’ve fallen for someone. You don’t fall for someone because of those reasons first.
—At least, not for me.
“What you need to fall for someone isn’t information—it’s the experiences you build with them.”
“…”
“At least, that’s what I think. …Well, it’s the utterly unconvincing opinion of a virgin asshole who’s never even been in love. Haha.”
I took Karen’s hand as she stared blankly at me—
“Karen and I… haven’t spent enough time together. I don’t know if I like you or not… there just aren’t enough shared experiences to tell.”
I said it gently.
This was my genuine, honest feeling.
Karen heard my words and her eyes flickered, seeming unsettled.
“So… so then… if I spent more time with you, Senpai… you might accept my confession… is that what you mean?”
“Of course. I don’t dislike Karen. In fact… I want to get closer to you.”
“Wh-what… what is that supposed to mean… what is that…!”
Karen grimaced painfully, then—
“…If you say something like that… I won’t be able to give up on you…!”
She said it in a trembling voice.
Silence dominated the space between us.
Karen clenched her fists painfully… and I stared intently at them.
Then, a few seconds later.
It was Karen who broke the silence.
“… If it’s a lie, I’ll never forgive you.”
Karen murmured.
“This isn’t a lie. It’s how I truly feel…?”
“…Is that so… It seems… you weren’t lying.”
Karen silently approached me.
And then… she dove into my chest.
“Karen…? “
“…That’s unfair, Senpai… I was finally starting to give up… I was trying to forget these feelings…”
Karen buried her face in my chest, patting it softly over and over.
Then, after a moment of silence, she lifted her face—
“…I absolutely will never give up on you…!”
Her eyes, filled with resolve, stared straight at me.
But traces of tears lingered, impossible to wipe away.
“…Yeah, I’ll try my best to learn to like you too, Karen.”
To that Karen.
I returned… my most sincere smile.
――◇――◇――◇――
“…Y-You…regained your memories…?!?”
The next day.
I told Yukina and Tsukino the details.
That yesterday, I had regained all my memories.
And that—I held no grudge whatsoever against the three of them.
“…You forgive us? You forgive me…the worst person who couldn’t do anything when Yuu-san was suffering…?”
Tsukino was visibly shaken.
“Of course I forgive you. Actually… I never blamed any of you in the first place. It was… unavoidable. It wasn’t anyone’s fault.”
I said this to Tsukino and Yukina—
“—So… please don’t feel too guilty about me.”
“H-huh… I-I see… Even after going through such pain, you still say that…”
After that, Yukina looked at me anxiously—
“Hey, Yu. Then… am I no longer needed around you?”
She asked me that.
“—Absolutely not.”
My answer was immediate.
“I… want to genuinely be friends with all three of you. …Is that okay?”
“Of course it’s okay! If you’re okay with someone like me, I’d love to be friends with you anytime…”
“I also really want to be friends with Yuu-san. …I promised to make it up to you for the rest of my life, after all.”
That’s good…
It seems both of them will be friends with me again this time.
As for Tsukino, I thought I heard something strange at the end… but I’ll pretend I didn’t hear it.
“Thank you, both of you!”
And then… finally, I shifted my gaze to Karen.
“Hm? Is something wrong, Senpai? Even if I could refuse, I was planning to be friends with you anyway, Senpai?”
“Ahaha, thank you, Karen.”
I looked around at the three of them.
And then.
“――All three of you… I look forward to our future together.”
I smiled at them all.
That smile… was surely the brightest one I’d ever shown.
This… wasn’t temporary.
It was definitely a real happy ending.
I’d broken with the past, forgiven all three of them from the bottom of my heart… and held hope for the future in my chest.
No matter how anyone looked at it, it was the real thing, wasn’t it?
Yet… deep inside my heart, one question had always lingered.
—Why had we kept repeating the cycle of death?
That was the first question I’d ever held.
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