Source
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/822139843121925685/episodes/822139844267571168
【Death Loop Notebook】
I decided to keep a diary of my death loops.
It wasn’t like I had any particular purpose.
But… for some reason, this notebook doesn’t reset even after a death loop, so I figured I might as well put it to use.
【Loop 0】
After I died, I somehow reincarnated into the world of a gal game I’d played in my past life.
Honestly, I was super happy.
I mean, I thought my life was over, but to still be alive…
Plus, all the girls in this world are stunningly beautiful, a feast for the eyes, and I could see heroines who only existed in the game in real life.
My excitement skyrocketed.
…Or so it should have been.
After a while, I realized something.
This feeling… Am I completely on the route where all the heroines die?
I hesitated a bit… but decided to try saving the heroines from their death endings.
Fortunately, I knew exactly when and how they would die.
After school, they’d get hit by a car at the intersection.
So, if I could just delay them a little, shift the timing… I could easily avoid the death endings.
That’s what I thought.
But—it didn’t work.
As I held the three of them back in front of the school gate—suddenly, a car plowed through the gate.
I threw myself in front of them, trying to shield them from the car in that split second… but it was all for nothing.
They were all hit by the car, me included.
【Loop 1】
Why am I alive?
When I woke up, I was asleep in my own bed.
Checking the date… today was the first day of my reincarnation.
…What the hell is going on?
Was yesterday just a dream?
…No, that’s impossible.
No matter how I thought about it, what I experienced yesterday felt undeniably real.
But since worrying about it wouldn’t help, I decided to just go through the motions like yesterday.
【Loop 2】
No.
This isn’t a dream!
Dying once more, I finally understood.
I… am time-leaping back to the moment right after my rebirth, the instant I die.
In the previous loop, taking the same actions as the first time led to the same outcome.
A car plowed through the school gate… and we died again.
Why is this happening?
Questions flood my mind… but thinking won’t bring answers.
For now, what I must do is save the heroines from the death ending.
Still, using the same method as last time would yield the same result, so this time I decided to try something different.
【Loop 3】
It didn’t work.
Once again, I died. The heroines died too.
I changed my approach from last time.
But—no matter where I fled, the car appeared.
And it would inevitably run over and kill the heroines.
It was as if… fate itself was trying to kill them…
Seriously… what the hell am I supposed to do about this?
No matter how hard I try, is avoiding a death ending just impossible…!?
…No, I don’t know yet.
I’ll try a little harder.
After all, even if I die… I can just start over again.
I noticed another new fact.
Within this world that loops over and over, something besides my mind wasn’t reset.
That thing was the notebook I’m writing this diary in.
This is the class notebook I was reviewing on the train right before I died, before I was reincarnated into this galge world.
For some reason, I managed to bring this notebook with me into this world.
And maybe because of that… this notebook alone doesn’t reset even when I die and restart.
That said… if you ask if it has any use… no.
But since I have it, I decided to start keeping a diary in this notebook.
【Loop 4】
Having already died four times, I’ve gotten a little used to dying.
That said, it’s still terrifying though…
This time, I tried to force my way in right before the car hit the three of them, desperately trying to save them from the death ending.
Well, to cut to the chase, it failed.
I tried to stop them from crossing the intersection… but suddenly, a car made a U-turn.
Huh? Was it ignoring the laws of physics or something…?
Guess I’ll have to think of another way.
【Loop 10】
Already the tenth time?
It’s getting… mentally tough.
Sometimes death is instant, but more often it isn’t.
Sometimes I suffered for over an hour without dying.
That was brutal, even for me.
Maybe that’s why.
—In this loop, I didn’t die.
As usual, I tried to shield the three from the car with my own body.
But at the last moment, the pain of dying flashed back.
And so… my legs froze, and I couldn’t move.
In the end, the three of them were hit by the car and died.
【Loop 11】
I didn’t die.
But—the next day never came for me.
When I woke up and checked the date… it was the first day of my rebirth.
No way.
Why?
Why? Isn’t this supposed to be a death loop?
Is it set up so that if the heroines die, time automatically rewinds…?
So… I… have to live forever in this loop?
Even if I get close to someone, even if I accomplish something… in a world where everything resets a few days later… in a world where nothing remains… I have to keep living?!
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!!!
What a fucking god we have here.
Fine. I’ll do it.
I’ll absolutely defy fate and save every single heroine!!!
【Loop 12】
Failed again.
I’ve noticed lately… Fate’s power doesn’t just affect the car, it seems to influence the heroines’ actions too.
No matter how many strategies I devise to get them to go to a safe place after school, they argue back, lie to me, and refuse to obey at all.
It’s like they’re walking straight into their own deaths.
Are they really human?
No, are any of the people in this world truly human?
Could they all… be programmed machines?
Am I the only one who’s truly alone?
Thinking that made me feel terribly lonely….
…………
………………
【Loop 30】
No one will help me.
It’s painful, it’s hard, I want to stop.
I don’t… want to die anymore….
…………
………………
【Loop 100】
In the end, I’m all alone.
No one will help me.
This entire world is programmed; no one possesses any self-awareness.
This place is hell.
I have fallen into hell.
I must have done something terrible in a past life.
I’m sorry… I’m truly sorry. God, Buddha… I apologize. I’ll repent as much as you want.
Please save me from this hell…
――Records are interrupted for a while――
【Loop 319】
I’m writing a record again after a long time.
This time, I tried setting up a barricade in front of the school gate.
Then, I stopped the heroine inside the gate.
The car easily smashed through the barricade and charged at the heroine.
――Records are interrupted for a while――
【Loop 500th Time】
I failed again
I instinctively pushed everyone away
Everyone got hit
――Records are interrupted for a while――
【Loop 1021】
じウサcあしぷチェアcはあhlだscあcだh；cあ……（The writing is scrambled and hard to read）
――The notebook ended here――
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