Source
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/822139843121925685/episodes/822139844267567880#end
The meeting place designated was a quiet café.
I was waiting there when… a figure wearing a black coat with the hood pulled low over their head approached.
“Nice to meet you, Yozakura Karen-san.”
The voice belonged to a woman, though it sounded slightly childlike.
“Um… How do you know my name?”
“…Because you are a character in a game, and I was the player.”
“Game? Player? …What do you mean?”
When I asked, she explained politely.
That this world was the world of a game belonging to a genre called galge.
That we were the heroines of that world.
And.
—That we had been caught up in something called the ‘All Heroines Death Ending’.
“In other words… Yuu-san knew about the ‘All Heroines Death Ending’ and still tried to save you all… that’s what it means.”
The woman in the coat stated it matter-of-factly.
No… then… Senpai… knew we were destined to die, and tried to save us out of pure goodwill…?
No, that can’t be true.
If it were… then my precious hope would be…
“…Also, there’s one thing I’d like to share with you.”
“W-What is it?”
The woman in the coat silently took a notebook out of her bag.
On the notebook’s cover, the word ‘Chemistry’ was crossed out with double lines.
It was probably used for school classes.
The problem started here.
On the cover, written over ‘Chemistry’ was – ‘Death Loop Notebook’.
“…Death Loop… Notebook?”
A bad feeling washed over me.
“Yes. You might have guessed already, but this is the notebook where Yuu recorded the details of the death loops he experienced himself.”
“N-no way… If you die and come back, the world resets, so recording it… shouldn’t be possible…”
“I don’t really understand the reason either. But I found this on the street recently.”
“On the… street…”
“From what I’ve heard, it’s definitely Yuu-san who wrote this. I scanned and saved the entire contents, so I’ll give you the original.”
With that, she handed me the notebook.
…Everything… everything about Senpai’s true intentions… is written inside this.
After parting ways with the woman in the coat… I slowly began reading the ‘Death Loop Notebook’ in my room….
…………
………………
“…Ugh… Oh… Ugh…”
Immediately after finishing the notebook
I vomited into the trash can over and over.
Even after my stomach was empty… the nausea wouldn’t stop.
It’s disgusting.
What… is this…?
Senpai…
As I wished, Senpai had reasons beyond goodwill.
But.
—It was far too cruel for any of that to matter anymore…
Senpai… was forced to defy fate to save us.
And tasted the pain of dying over and over… tasted loneliness… and then.
—Broke…
There were no records after the 1000th loop.
…Which means, at that point, Senpai’s mind must have completely collapsed, and they lost their memories.
“Ah… AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”
I never knew… Senpai was suffering this much.
I dug my nails into my arm so hard I thought I might draw blood.
While Senpai was suffering this terribly—
“I just gave up on everything… did nothing… just waited to be saved… I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”
I really am a sinner.
No matter how much I atone, I committed an unforgivable sin… I’m the worst kind of sinner.
And yet… I still like Senpai…
“What… should I do…?”
I don’t know.
I holed up at home for days, consumed by agony.
The cuts on my arms multiplied, the trash can overflowed with vomit… My reflection in the mirror looked like a zombie.
Then, one day.
An email arrived.
‘Karen-chan, are you okay? Yu-san is really worried about you?’
It was from Tsukino-chan.
Since Senpai has lost his memory, he must be worried about me like this too…
――I should see Senpai again after so long.
That’s what I thought.
Senpai must be confused too, after I asked him about the ‘All Heroines Die Ending’.
And… more than anything, I wanted to see my beloved Senpai to change my mood.
――◇――◇――◇――
【Yuu’s Perspective】
“…I see. So that’s… what it was.”
The contradictions in Karen’s actions… were born from her affection for me and her guilt.
Karen continued speaking, sounding pained.
“When I confessed to Senpai… you didn’t give me an answer, right?”
“Ah, come to think of it…”
Her words from that time flashed through my mind.
――‘I’m serious. But… I just wasn’t ready to hear your answer yet…’
“The reason I didn’t want to hear your reply… wasn’t because I wasn’t ready. It was because the me back then… didn’t deserve to be with you.”
…So that’s it.
All my questions were resolved.
So that was the reason behind Karen’s baffling actions all this time…
It made sense why she couldn’t talk to me about it.
Asking someone you like for advice about something like this… No one in their right mind could do that.
I touched Karen’s right arm… and gently stroked it.
“…I’m sorry. I never realized…”
“…Huh?! Why are you apologizing, Senpai…? It’s my fault for developing romantic feelings for you in the first place…”
Karen bit her lower lip—
“Seriously… why did I fall for you, Senpai…”
She murmured painfully in a voice that seemed about to vanish.
I couldn’t bear to watch that…
“—Karen.”
“W-What is it…?”
“Karen… you want me to judge your sin after learning everything… and then confess, right?”
“Yes. That’s right, but…”
Karen tilted her head in puzzlement, then… her eyes widened as if she’d realized something.
“No way, Senpai…! N-no! Absolutely not! You mustn’t remember those memories…!”
Karen grabbed my shoulders and shouted repeatedly.
But I looked straight into Karen’s eyes and opened my mouth.
“Karen… I’ve been thinking it’s about time I found out too. What happened in the past. What was behind that ending where all the heroines died…”
“N-no…! I absolutely won’t allow that…!? If you regain your memories… Senpai… you’ll break…”
Karen’s eyes were unfocused from her agitation.
Was my lost memory really that terrible…?
“But listen, Karen. Even if I stay like this, with no memories… I think someday, even if I don’t want to, the day will come when I regain them.”
“Why… would that happen?”
“You see… lately, I keep having the same dream. A dream where the four of you get hit by a car…”
“Huh…!? N-no way…”
I’ve been vaguely aware of it too.
That dream isn’t just a dream.
Maybe… it’s something that actually happened in the past.
“If I’m going to remember it someday anyway—I want to know the truth right now, at this moment.”
“Sen…pai…”
“So, could you show me that ‘notebook’ you mentioned earlier? It contains… the events from when I lost my memory, right…?”
“Yes, but… if you read that, Senpai… you’ll break.”
“I know. But as someone directly involved, I need to know.”
After I pleaded repeatedly… Karen began to agonize with a serious expression.
After a long pause, Karen finally said—
“…Alright. If you want it that badly, Senpai… I’ll give you the ‘notebook’.”
She said it as if she’d given up.
“Thank you, Karen…!”
“But… if you start acting weird, I’ll take it back immediately, okay?”
“Got it. I’m prepared for it, but… if it comes to that, I’m counting on you.”
“Alright… I’ll get the notebook then.”
Karen took a notebook out of her bag.
The cover had the word ‘Chemistry’ written on it, but it was crossed out with a double line.
Instead… written over those words was ‘Death Loop Notebook’.
“Death Loop… Notebook…”
Hearing those words, my brain sounded a fierce alarm.
But… I had to know.
Opening Pandora’s box… this must be exactly what they meant.
I took a deep breath, steeled myself… and began reading the notebook.
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