Episode 67 – Because of me

“Sena-chan, you know. She probably likes Ayata-kun, right?”

…Huh?

My mind went completely numb.

“She’s so devoted, isn’t she, Sena-chan? Even though she really likes Ayata-kun herself, she’s suppressing those feelings for her best friend’s sake, right? She’s such a good girl, Sena-chan. Unlike someone else out there…”

Sena… likes Akito?

So… that’s how it was?

“Renka-chan is really cruel, you know. Not just to Ayata-kun, but she’s hurting Sena-chan without even realizing it.”

“…W-wait…”

Every time I moved my parched throat, my head throbbed painfully.

But. I knew I had to properly talk to Maeda-san.

“Sena… does she… really like Akito…?”

“Ask Sena-chan that yourself. You’re best friends, right? Sort of, anyway.”

Maeda-san chuckled softly.

A mocking, sarcastic smile, as if laughing at me.

“Well, Sena-chan is kind, so she probably won’t resent Renka-chan. But—what about the other girls?”

The starry sky clouded over.
A dark shadow fell over Maeda-san’s expression.

“See? Renka-chan gets confessed to by all kinds of boys, right? But she turns them all down. How do you think those rejected boys feel about you? I bet some of them are holding a grudge against you.”

“And then,” she added.

After inserting those words, Maeda-san continued.

“Just like I lost Machida-kun, and just like Sena-chan gave up on Ayata-kun. There are tons of girls who’ve had their hearts broken because of you, right? Do you understand how those girls feel?　…Nah, you don’t, do you? Because you’re a perfect beauty, Renka-chan. You’ve never had your heart broken, obviously. That’s why you don’t understand how other people feel, right?”

“…………wait—, I—!”

“You’re gorgeous, with long limbs, flawless skin and hair, and even your voice is unbelievably cute. But—have you noticed?　The boys who confess to you, Renka-chan, are mostly just after your body, you know? Or they just want the title of dating the school’s most beautiful girl. At the very least, not a single boy is looking at your inner self. So, don’t get too carried away. Understand?”

The lukewarm night wind blowing through felt strangely loud.

Every time the wind brushed my skin, I shivered and goosebumps rose.

It felt like… the whole world was berating me.

“…Wh-why…?”

Tears.

I couldn’t hold them back… they rolled down my cheeks.

“Why… why are you saying such… cruel things…?”

“—Do you finally get it? This is how Ayata-kun has felt all along?”

Akito-kun?

All this time… because of me, he’s been suffering this much?

“Since we’re being honest, let me make this clear—Renka-chan, you’re a curse on everyone around you, just by existing, okay? You hurt Ayata-kun with your words. You ruined Sena-chan’s love just because she was your best friend. You seduced every boy in school with that face, toyed with their feelings, and then rejected them all in the end. And as if that weren’t enough, you’ve caused several of us girls to suffer heartbreak. Yet—only you, Renka, try to be happy. That’s just not right.”

…Please, stop.

Please… I can’t take it anymore. I don’t want to hear this…

“So listen. At least stop that. Stop trying to take away Miyuki-chan’s happiness. Absolutely stop.”

I know… I know…

I know I’m a terrible person… I know that.

So… please. Stop… please…

“—Do you understand now, Renka-chan? You’ll give up on Ayata-kun properly, right?”

She spat out those words and stood up.

She didn’t even seem to glance my way.

“Our private time is almost up. So you should get out soon too, Renka-chan. …Well then, see you tomorrow.”

“Ah…”

The presence of another person vanished from the bathroom.

Only I was left behind here.

No one. I’m completely alone right now.

“…Aki…to…Sena…”

Unconsciously, I murmured the names of my two childhood friends.

But that whisper vanished into the silence.

What remained inside me were—the words Maeda-san had hurled at me.

“… Ah, I’m… so… sorry…!”

To me, Akito and the others were the most precious things in the world.

And yet, I…

I kept hurting them like that for years.

I took away everyone’s happiness.

“I… I’m… so… sorry…”

Only tears kept flowing, endlessly.

—Even that right surely shouldn’t belong to me.

I just clutched the wet friendship bracelet, relentlessly.

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