Source
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/16817330665217759411/episodes/16817330665908218702
……It was 4:00 p.m. after school. My feet were heading for the counseling club room.
At the end of the hallway, further from the library, was the club room. That was the club room.
It’s not that I have anything I want to discuss with him. It’s just that ……
[The words of a hypocrite are always contradictory.]
“……………………”
I reached for the doorknob and opened the door.
“…… I see, then it’s safe hands now.”
In the inside, that man was sitting cross-legged on the wooden floor and talking to someone on his phone. When he noticed that I had come in, he looked at me and waved his hand lightly.
Then he slowly lowered his hand and pointed to the cushion directly across the table from him. I knew he meant for me to sit there.
“……………………”
I did as I was told and sat on the cushion with my knees bent.
“No, no, that’s great, Auntie. If you can get out of the hospital now.”
“……………………”
“Well then, I’m sorry. I’m about to start my club activities, so I’ll get off the phone.”
“……………………”
“Yeah, yeah. Okay, bye.”
With that, he ended the call. He put his phone in his pants pocket and smiled at me.
I happened to catch a glimpse of his bandaged right arm. I looked down to get away from it.
“No, I’m sorry. Sorry to keep you waiting.”
“…………………….”
“The woman I live with had an accident the other day. She was a little hurt, but I’m glad to hear she’s going to be released from the hospital.”
“……………………”
“Well, ……, let me introduce myself for the time being. My name is Nakahara Toru. I’m a second year student and the head of the counseling club.”
“……………………”
“I’d like to know your name as well, if you don’t mind me asking.”
“…… Kitagawa Mari, first-year student.”
“Eh!? Y-You’re younger than me?”
“What? Do you have a problem with that?”
“It’s not that I’m complaining,……, it’s just that I was a little surprised.”
The man named Nakahara scratched his head and chuckled.
“Well, Kitagawa-san. The fact that you came here today means that you need …… to continue with that lunch thing, is that right?”
“……………………”
“……Something went wrong between you and Busujima Sensei. I’m interpreting it that way, am I right?”
…… I looked away from Nakahara and nodded silently.
“If you don’t mind, can you tell me specifically what the trouble was about?”
“…… specifically.”
“Yeah, as much as you can.”
“……, I forgot to do my homework, and I apologized.”
“Yeah.”
“Then I got pissed off and left class.”
“……, so you’re saying that Kitagawa-san forgot to do her homework, the teacher told her to apologize, and she got mad and left class?”
“No, it was classmate who apologized.”
“Classmates?”
“I apologized for taking up my classmate’s time. Busujima said so.”
“Oh, that way. She certainly does that.”
“……………………”
“I got angry and left.”
“Yeah.”
“Did the teacher say anything nasty to you at the time?”
“….She said she was going to fire me.”
“Eh? Fired?”
“She said she was going to fire me.”
“……hnn? What does that mean? Does that mean she’s going to expel you?”
“No, she said she’d fire me if I was her subordinate.”
“If it was a subordinate? hm? What do you mean?”
“I mean! you know, ……, that ……!”
“Okay, okay, take your time. Take your time.”
“…….So, if Busujima was my boss and I was her subordinate, she would fire me right away.”
“Oh, I see. If you two were working in a company and had that kind of relationship, you would be fired immediately.”
“Yes.”
I was always told that I didn’t have enough words. There were many times when I tried to explain something and the other person didn’t understand what I meant, which irritated both the other person and myself.
Because of this, I gave up talking about my feelings. I thought that even if I told them, they wouldn’t understand me and there was no point in telling them.
……, but Nakahara listened to me. I feel like for the first time, someone else actually tried to hear everything about me.
Is Nakahara a …… hypocrite? I don’t know.
“Well, I see. I’m beginning to get the general idea.”
Nakahara, who had finished listening to me, folded his arms and made a difficult face.
“……………………”
[Really…I was wondering if you are really a high school student at all ……? How could you live until now if you can’t even pass one of those manners?]
At that time, I had a flashback of what that old hag had said to me, and my heart ached.
The feelings I had at the time echoed vividly in my head, as if she had said them right here and now.
Before I knew it, tears came to my eyes and my face became hot.
“Mmmm, no matter how you think about it, she reprimand you too much, more than necessary. It’s too irrational.”
“…………………….”
“Why does she need to be so angry ……? Oh, I see. Is it just for show? she’se making a show of her power.”
“……………………”
“After all, that teacher is so small. her meaningless pride is …… huh? Kitagawa-san, what’s wrong?”
Nakahara noticed that I was in tears. I wiped my eyes with both hands and remained silent.
“……Kitagawa-san.”
“……………………”
Nakahara sat up, looking at me who was silent like a shellfish. And then he moved from facing me to right beside me, and sat with his knees bent the same way as mine.
“……Why are you coming next to me?”
“Did you not like it?”
“…………………….”
“If you really didn’t like it, I’d get out of your way right now.”
“……………………”
“This is just a guess on my part,…… but I think that throwing a lot of words at Kitagawa-san right now is not very meaningful,…… and it’s just annoying to you.”
“…………!”
“If that’s the case, it’s better to just shut up and stand next to her. That’s what I thought.”
“……………………”
Nakahara just looked blankly ahead and did not turn his head towards me.
Really, just sitting next to me.
I didn’t even look at Nakahara, I just kept my mouth shut and remained still.
“”……………………””
The clubroom was quiet and still. But strangely enough, it wasn’t an unpleasant space.
Usually, a space where both parties are silent would make me feel strange and nervous, but I didn’t feel that way with Nakahara.
I don’t know why. But …… at least Nakahara didn’t ask me to say anything.
It was like there was no need to talk or worry about anything. So it felt good.
I felt as if he forgave me even though I had a developmental disability.
(…… I had never met anyone like this before.)
At first, I thought Nakahara was a hypocrite.
I thought he was just a guy who wanted to boost his own reputation by being nice to me. He is in the same category as Busujima. Otherwise, there was no reason for him to be nice to me when we first met.
[The words of a hypocrite are always contradictory.]
But when Nakahara told me that, I agreed with him.
Busujima is a liar. She doesn’t have our best interests at heart. That’s why there are contradictions in her words. But I have never felt any contradiction with Nakahara. When I talk with him, I feel refreshed or comfortable.
That made me wonder even more. How could he act so kind to me when I had just met him for the first time? How could he listen to me after biting and hurting me on the arm? If not hypocrisy, then really good intentions?
I don’t understand …….
“…… Nakahara.”
“Yeah?”
“Why do you care so much about me?”
“Eh?”
“……No, I mean, you know. There was a lot going on with your arm and everything. I thought you’d be mad at me.”
“Yeah, well, …… yeah, you’re right. I’d be happy if you apologized to me about the arm, but that doesn’t have to be now.”
“…………………….”
“But yes. In a broader sense, I’m just as much of a hypocrite as Busujima-sensei, I think.”
“…… Eh?”
I stared at Nakahara’s profile. He just stared straight ahead.
“I’m calling out to you out of my own self-interest,”
“……………………”
“When I saw you crying on the stairs, I couldn’t leave you alone. If I let it go, I’m sure I’ll be bothered by it for a long time.”
“……………………”
“I approached you in order to clear up that bothered feeling. I’m not doing this for you, trying to listen to you, trying to talk to you about something. It’s for me.”
“……………………”
“It’s all for my own satisfaction, and I’m just meddling. So you don’t have to worry about anything. I’m allowed to do what I want, so you can do what you want.”
“……………………”
……That’s when I had a gut feeling that Nakahara was lying.
He says he is doing it for himself, but he isn’t. If he is doing it for himself, he wouldn’t be bothered by my crying. If it was really for herself, she wouldn’t be bothered by my crying. Even I understood that. Like Busujima, I felt he was saying something contradictory.
“……………………”
But unlike Busujima’s lie, I felt that the lie was somehow warm.
————————–
“……, is it that late already?”
Nakahara muttered, checking the time on his phone.
“What time is it? Nakahara.”
“It’s 18:00. I have to close the clubroom soon.”
“……,hnn okay.”
“I’ll be doing club activities every day, so if you feel like coming back, just come.”
“……………………”
“Let’s talk about Busujima-sensei again. You can go and talk to the vice principal about Busujima sensei or just complain about her.”
I nodded quietly and silently.
“All right, then I’m going to clean up the clubroom a little bit before leaving, so you go ahead, Kitagawa-san.”
“……………………”
After being told this by Nakahara, I proceeded toward the doorway and opened the door.
And just as I was about to leave, I suddenly asked Nakahara something like this.
“Hey.”
“Yes?”
“Does your arm hurt?”
“My arm? Oh, no, no. It’s no big deal.”
“……………………”
“Thank you for your concern, Kitagawa-san.”
“……, I wasn’t worried about you.”
“I see. But thank you.”
“……………………”
Unable to look straight at Nakahara’s smiling face, I looked down and closed the door.
Go through the club room, go to the shoe closet, and exit the school’s main gate. Even though I was on my usual route home, the scenery felt somehow different.
“…… Nakahara, huh?”
I was unconsciously thinking of his name.
“Hmm?”
I suddenly noticed a certain female student standing just past the main gate.
She had short gray hair, and her right eye was hidden by her bangs.
I don’t know why, but she was staring at me.
(I felt so uncomfortable.)
I walked past the girl and headed for home.
“……………………”
But I didn’t go straight home that day. I decided to stop at a 100 yen store on the way.
…… gabby and noisy, it was time to go to school in the morning. I was yawning as usual as I walked through the front gate.
“Ahhhh, another day begins~”
I managed to hold in my drowsiness as I headed for the shoe box.
“… nn.”
Sometimes, my right arm would feel a tingling pain. When that happens, I pause and rub my hand over the bandage.
“I’ve worried my aunt for nothing. …… I hope it heals quickly.”
Well, I thought, it can’t be helped, and I got to the front of my shoe box. The shoe box is divided into two tiers, with the upper tier for upper shoes and the lower tier for outer shoes.
I took my top shoes out of the upper level and tried to put my outer shoes into the lower level.
“Hmm?”
At that moment, I noticed that there was already something in the lower bunk. It was a letter and a small disinfectant.
“A letter and disinfectant ……? What’s this?”
The letter was a pretty sheet of paper with a flowery pattern, the kind you can find at a 100-yen store.
It had no name of the sender written on it. It contained only one word
[I’m sorry.]
“……………………”
But I knew immediately who it was from. I folded the letter carefully into four and put it …… carefully in the breast pocket of my uniform.
(TL/N : Wow scary Nishida san)
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