The day after Kento dumped me.
Maybe everything that happened yesterday was a surprise. It must be so. I told myself that and went to pick him up so that I could go to school with him.
But what I heard over the intercom was Kento’s voice rejecting me.
My mind went blank and I ran to school.
Even just hearing his voice reject me, I forgot how to breathe, my chest became painful, and I couldn’t stop breaking out in a cold sweat.
Then in the classroom.
“I’m tired of her abuse. She used to be so kind to me…….”
Kento’s words ruminate in my brain.
At that time, it was so painful that I couldn’t help but cry in front of my classmates.
I was so distressed that I couldn’t go to school for a few days after that.
I knew what I had to do.
To go back to the old me and apologize to Kento.
With this, I would be able to make up with Kento, right?
Then I can go out with Kento again, right?
Then I can get married to him, right?
Then I will have a child with him, right?
Then we will love each other until old age and die together holding each other’s arms.
It’s so easy, isn’t it?
When I went to school for the first time in a while, many of my classmates were worried about me and called me.
But to be honest, I didn’t care.
I came to school to apologize to Kento and get back together with him.
The moment I called out to him to fulfill my purpose.
My mind went blank again, my heart was racing and my hands were shaking.
Above all, I was so scared that Kento would reject me again that I froze.
“There’s no need to apologize. I’m sure Kento doesn’t care that much about what happened.”
The devil’s whisper deceived me.
I knew I shouldn’t be taken in by it…….
The determination I had just held on to is melting away in the mud.
“Won’t you eat lunch with me again?”
I ran away.
When I came back to myself, I regretted my choice.
I wanted to die. I want to kill myself for being so stupid to run away from that apology.
I couldn’t apologize to Kento. That fact seemed to show that the love I had for Kento was weak.
Frustrated, sad, and painful,
I felt like I was going crazy because of the blend of negative emotions.
I ran out of school right after that and cried at home.
My mother was angry with me for skipping school, but she said that my upsetting behavior had dampened her feelings.
After I had cried and got my mind in order, I was once again making plans to get back together with Kento.
The truth was, my heart had been devastated by Kento’s neglect, but if I didn’t get back on my feet soon, it would be irreversible.
I don’t know what will happen to me if the other girls take him.
Next time, I will not fail again.
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