Source
https://ncode.syosetu.com/n3174ip/16/
I still remember the day I first met Nii san.
I had a father and a mother. It’s not those people, it’s about my real parents who gave birth to me.
Before I took the surname Tojo, I lived with my biological parents and myself.
I think my family was fairly wealthy. My parents were often away from home for work, but at the time I had a housekeeper to look after me, so I didn’t feel lonely that much.
Also, they always took holidays for my birthday, Christmas, summer vacation and so on.
I also remember my parents happily telling me that it was best to spend the anniversary with a family.
I was able to buy what I wanted, and I got a lot of presents.
Can we call it love, a gift that cannot be seen with the naked eye? I think that was also taken care of.
Even though they were busy with work, either of my parents would always come home at night, and they would pat me on the head while apologizing for making me feel lonely.
I think I smiled and answered that it was okay to reassure my parents. In return, I asked for more pat on my head and stayed by my side until I fell asleep.
Even though I tried to insist that I wasn’t lonely, I guess I was still lonely.
Even so, I loved my parents more than the feeling of loneliness.
I had never got angry, because I knew that they would always think of me.
My parents love me. I may have sensed this intuitively.
I have never doubted the love from the two of them, and I will never.
I never said anything about being selfish. I guess it’s all about the earlier request for a pat on the head.
I liked seeing their happy faces more than seeing their troubled faces.
I want my parents to praise me. I want them to be happy. I thought so even when I was young, and I often won awards for my lessons back then.
From that time on, I think I was better than others. Most of what I was taught, I remembered quickly. .Even if it wasn’t, if I repeated it twice or three times, I could grasp the knack.
Genius. I was often told that.
However, I have never felt so comfortable with it.
I didn’t want to be a better person than others.
The important thing for me is to make my parents happy. It was just that.
I wanted to be happy with people who I thought were more important to me than to be recognized by many people.
They understood my thoughts, and we always went out to eat after winning the competition.
Well done. You did your best. My parents praised me that way. At that time, they had never mentioned other childrens’ names.
I know that there are children who were not praised for winning the award.
I have seen people being angry with their children. It was a shock to me, who had never gotten scolded by my parents.
I couldn’t forget that scene, and my parents were worried about me and asked me if I was depressed.
When I confessed my true feelings, my father and mother hugged me and said,
There is no need to compare yourself with others. Alice will remain as Alice, and if you grow up healthy, that’s fine.
That’s our wish.
I was relieved from the bottom of my heart when I heard those words.
I felt lucky to be raised by them.
But that idea was a mistake.
Feeling relieved, I entered a certain piano contest.
It’s an ordinary contest, neither big nor small. The difficulty level is such that if you play normally, you can easily win. I was used to it so I wasn’t nervous.
I was only concerned about whether my parents would make it in time. My father sent me to the venue, but when I arrived, my mother contacted me and said that she wanted to listen to my performance because her work was finished early.
When I heard that from my father, I told my father to pick up my mother.
I was told that she could come by taxi because she was at the nearest station, but I wanted the two of them to see my sunny stage together.
I’ll never be able to forget the look on my father’s face as he happily walked out of the waiting room, thinking that if he went to pick her up now, he’d barely make it in time.
That was the last time I saw my father alive.
The last time I saw my mother’s face was before I fell asleep the night before.
And I could never feel the feeling of that warm hand that I felt before.
My performance was quietly played without reaching my parents’ ears.
If I were not their child. And if I hadn’t rushed my father that day.
They must have been alive without an accident.
I was left disappointed, just dumbfounded and not understanding anything. Before I knew it, I had been taken away.
To a house where there is no [family] that I know, which is hard and cold and does not have any warmth.
And then I met a boy—I met Nii san.
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