Source
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/16818622176550308690/episodes/16818622176760906173
I, Fujisaki Renka, was walking briskly along my way to school.
I couldn’t get my childhood friend out of my head, and I had been feeling uneasy since morning.
“Gee….what the hell is wrong with him…!”
He—Ayata Akito—and I have known each other since kindergarten.
Since we’re neighbors, we’ve always walked to school together almost every day.
But then….suddenly, Akito said, “Let’s stop doing this by today.”
“He also left me behind yesterday….ugh, that idiot Akito !”
Every time I think about Akito, my heart feels like it’s on fire.
At the same time….I was reminiscing about a certain conversation.
After school yesterday, a friend from the same club asked me this question.
[Hey, Fujisaki san. Seriously, what’s your relationship with Ayata kun?]
I remember feeling annoyed that it was that topic again.
It’s true that Akito and I often hang out together. We even sit next to each other.
But that’s just because we’re childhood friends. There’s nothing special between us…yet for some reason, kids who mistakenly think we’re dating often ask me these kinds of questions out of curiosity.
Still, I couldn’t just ignore it, so I blurted out the first thing that came to mind.
I’m definitely not into him. In fact, I hate losers like Akito.
But then…
[So, Fujisaki san, what would you do if Ayata kun confessed his feelings to you?]
[Eh? Well, that—]
I clearly remember the feeling that arose in that moment. I can’t forget it.
It felt like a sharp pain in the depths of my chest.
Yet…it also felt like something warm and fuzzy was welling up inside me.
[…What would I do? I, I…]
[Fujisaki san, you said earlier that there’s nothing about Ayata kun that you like. So, isn’t there no need to worry?]
[But ! Akito, even though he looks like that, he’s actually quite kind at heart…and when it comes down to it, he works harder than anyone else, and that’s really cool…]
At the time, I didn’t immediately realize that I had said something outrageous.
But the moment I did, my body suddenly felt hot. I think my face must have turned bright red too.
[Fufu, Fujisaki san, you’re cute. Are you a tsundere?]
[T-that’s not it ! I really don’t feel anything toward Akito…]
[Alright, alright, I get it. See you later, Fujisaki san.]
[U-ugh…]
Left alone in the empty classroom, my mind was filled with thoughts of Akito.
There’s no way I could like such a loser. Such a lazy, troublesome childhood friend is nothing but a nuisance to me.
So of course, I must hate him.
But then—why did my heart tighten so much?
Akito and I are just childhood friends.
Then what is this uneasy feeling in my chest?
…No matter how much I think about it, I just can’t figure it out. So yesterday, I stopped thinking about it and decided to go pick up Akito right away.
He’s in the after-school club, yet he always waits for me until my club activities are over. …He’s really an idiot.
But…in the end, Akito wasn’t there.
I thought I’d have to give him a sermon tomorrow. If something’s wrong, at least send me a message, I thought.
But…but…
“Why did you suddenly say something like that…?”
Akito’s words and attitude from earlier just won’t leave my mind.
Not just the part about going to and from school separately.
From now on, I won’t cause any more trouble for Renka—what did that mean?
(…What am I thinking? From now on, I won’t have to take care of Akito anymore, so I should be happier…)
Akito is sloppy. It’s normal for him to have bedhead, and he ties his tie carelessly. He doesn’t think about nutrition at all when he eats, and he sleeps through class.
So I thought it was my duty as his childhood friend to take care of him. I had accepted that as inevitable.
But…it seems I’ve suddenly been freed from that role.
It’s a relief. Because now I don’t have to worry about Akito anymore.
I won’t have to stress over his shortcomings anymore—
“Then why am I…..feeling so uneasy…?”
I don’t know. No matter how much I think about it, I still don’t understand.
…How many years has it been since I’ve walked to school alone like this? Since middle school, when Akito was absent with a cold, I think.
The spring breeze that caressed my skin felt a little colder than usual.
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