Source
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/16818622176550308690/episodes/16818622177706253808
What should I do?
All day today, I’ve been watching Akito.
But our eyes never met. It felt like he didn’t even notice me.
Why did I say something like that?
When I think about yesterday, I feel like I’m going to cry. So I kept biting my lip over and over to hold back the tears.
Akito…he must have already grown to dislike me by now.
(Of course, right? Because I said such cruel things to Akito…)
Even now, that feeling still lingers.
I said words I didn’t even mean, like “I hate you” to Akito.
…I want to apologize to him as soon as possible.
But I just can’t muster the courage.
The thought of being rejected by Akito again terrifies me.
“Hey, Renka ! Club activities are canceled today, right?”
Suddenly, Sena hugs me from behind.
I’m so surprised I can’t respond. First, I have to put on a smile.
“…Uh, yeah. It’s canceled, but…”
“I’m also off today ! Let’s go to our usual place ! Let’s eat some parfait !”
Sena said cheerfully.
…I know. I need to go apologize to Akito right away for what happened yesterday. But,
“Yeah. …Let’s go, Sena.”
Ugh, I’m…really the worst.
I’m using Sena’s invitation as an excuse to avoid facing Akito. That’s how I keep protecting my own heart.
…Hey, Akito.
…I’m sorry for being such a terrible childhood friend.
Once again, I bit my lip tightly.
◇◇◇
“Mmm, the new flavor is delicious ! The fruit is so sweet and makes me happy !”
Sena eats her parfait with a melting smile.
As for me…I don’t have much of an appetite, so I just ordered a small pudding.
“Renka. Aren’t you gonna eat?”
“Ah…um, yeah. I’ll eat…”
I scooped up the pudding with a spoon and took a bite—it still didn’t taste like much.
It didn’t go down smoothly. I chewed it over and over again, then washed it down with water.
Then Sena, still smiling, said,
“Say, Renka. —Yesterday, after that, did you have a fight with Akito kun?”
Her voice was as bright as usual.
I think she was trying to lighten the mood and be considerate of me. …Sena is really kind.
“If you’re okay with it, Renka, tell me what happened with Akito kun yesterday. I’ll listen to you if you wanna talk about it.”
Sena seemed to see right through me.
The spoon I was holding began to tremble.
“…I… I…”
“Yeah. Tell me?”
“I…I said something terrible…to Akito…”
My vision blurred. A single tear slowly rolled down my cheek.
My mouth tasted a little salty.
“I don’t mean it that way…I didn’t mean to say such a thing…but before I knew it, I was talking about Akito, I… I…”
“Calm down, Renka. What did you say to Akito kun?”
“…I said I hated him. Then I ran away from Akito’s house…”
I’m so immature.
I can’t control my emotions properly, and I hurt someone I should never have hurt.
I can’t even apologize for it. I’m causing so much trouble for Sena by talking to him like this.
I wish I could just disappear somewhere.
Then…I wouldn’t have to hurt Akito again.
“Hey, Renka. Did you apologize to Akito kun?”
“…….No. I still haven’t been able to say it…”
“I see. Then you should apologize, okay?”
Sena smiled gently and said,
“But you know, Renka. You don’t just need to apologize for yesterday, do you?”
“…..Huh?”
“Akito kun. I think he’s been bothered by your harsh attitude for a while now. No matter how kind Akito is, I think you’ve been a little too spoiled.”
Sena was right.
I’ve done a lot of things that would make Akito hate me.
Akito is kind, so I think he forgave me for them.
But if someone keeps saying things like that, anyone would get hurt.
Such a simple thing…why didn’t I notice it until now?
“So, Renka. When you see Akito kun next time, can you properly apologize for what you’ve done so far?”
“……..Yeah. I’ll try my best…..”
“Alright. Akito kun should be arriving soon.”
“……Yeah. Wait….eh?”
Just as I asked that,
Sena stood up and started waving toward the entrance.
“Akito kun ! Over here, hurry !”
And then,
with the familiar sound of footsteps…Akito walked over to our table.
Our eyes met.
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