Source
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/16818622176550308690/episodes/16818622177579053325
[——-I really hate Aikto……! !]
Those words echoed in my head.
I woke up with a start.
“…Haha. It feels like I had a nightmare.”
My whole body was drenched in sweat. A prickly, unpleasant feeling remained in my chest.
――It was last night, when I was playing Anfil with Suzukita san.
Renka, who was supposed to be out playing with Sena and the others, had come to my room for some reason.
And she had clearly stated,
I hate Akito――
“That wasn’t a nightmare, it was reality…”
I turned my gaze toward the door.
There, it seemed as though Renka’s afterimage was still standing there.
I will never forget the despair on her face at that moment…and the single tear that trickled down her cheek. But…
“…What is this feeling?”
My head felt fuzzy. Gradually, the pain in my chest subsided.
Emptiness—that seemed to be the closest way to describe it.
Renka had always disliked me. Yet I couldn’t bring myself to give up on her. I couldn’t let go of my unrequited feelings, and I kept holding onto them in a vague state.
But now it’s clear.
I—I was rejected by Renka.
In this situation, only the protagonist of a shonen manga could say things like “I won’t give up” or “It’s not over yet.”
(It’s too late now, but…I guess it’s no wonder Renka is angry.)
Yesterday, I broke my promise to go to Windyland with Renka and the others, using a fever as an excuse.
Even if I had recovered, if I was playing games in my room with Suzukita san…of course, anyone would be angry.
Moreover, as she left, Renka left a plastic bag containing rice porridge and sports drinks in my room. In other words, she came to visit me.
I completely betrayed Renka’s kindness yesterday.
…If I apologize to Renka right now, will she forgive me?
If I explain that it was a misunderstanding, will she understand?
No…
(It was just a matter of time anyway. I don’t care anymore…)
Renka had always said she hated me behind my back.
Last night’s incident was just confirmation of what I already knew.
Sooner or later, Renka and I were bound to end up like this.
When I think about it that way…everything seems like a hassle.
So I stopped thinking about it. No matter how much I agonize over it, it won’t solve anything. Then I should spend my time on something else.
“Alright, I’ll study.”
I woke up quite early, but I wasn’t sleepy enough to go back to sleep.
I sat at my desk and started reviewing the first-year curriculum.
The midterm exams are coming up soon, after all. I have to work hard, I thought.
A few minutes later, I was completely focused on my studies. In fact, I felt like I was making more progress than usual.
“Somehow…the real end is surprisingly simple.”
I can’t forget about Renka.
I’ll never forget yesterday, even until the day I die.
But all the memories I have of spending time with Renka will just become old wounds—that’s the feeling I have inside me.
Somehow…I felt like I had been reborn.
◇◇◇
I went to school. Renka was unusually not there yet.
Suzukita san…seems to be talking to one of her friends today. She waved at me with a smile, then went back to talking with her friend.
(Maybe she’s feeling bad about yesterday.)
Yesterday, she saw me and Renka fighting.
Suzukita san might think it’s her fault. If that’s the case, I have to tell her it’s a misunderstanding.
(Come to think of it, I should also apologize to Sena and the others soon.)
As I was thinking about that,
a beautiful girl with semi-long flaxen hair—Fujisaki Renka—entered the classroom.
Even with what happened yesterday, of course, that doesn’t change how cute she is. I’m still not used to Renka’s cuteness, so I couldn’t help but stare at her summer uniform.
(…Well, it’s free to look from a distance. In fact, this might be the perfect distance.)
Of course, I no longer want to be Renka’s boyfriend.
But when I think about it calmly, having a classmate who is so beautiful that she can be described as “superb” and being able to look at her anytime is an incredible privilege.
I’ve decided never to get involved with Renka again. But I’d like to be allowed to be healed by seeing her appearance.
“…..Ah, Akito. Um….good morning….”
Renka didn’t make eye contact with me, but she politely greeted me in the morning.
She’s a perfect beauty, after all. Even towards someone she hates so much, she doesn’t neglect her manners.
“Ah. Good morning, Renka.”
I replied to Renka while fiddling with my smartphone.
…To be honest, I don’t really want to talk to her either. It feels like the wound that was finally starting to heal might reopen.
“Ah…uh, yeah…”
Renka’s voice was gloomy. Well, maybe it was just my imagination.
Speaking of which, I need to get the spare key back. I should ask Sena to do it at some point.
But more importantly…this is bad. The first class is math.
Math is my worst subject. I don’t want to sit through an hour of a lecture I don’t understand, so I should do some prep work now.
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