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https://ncode.syosetu.com/n7071ik/36/
“Ah! Shoma.”
Noticing me approaching, Natsumi waved her hand widely while holding her hair back.
“Well, ……… where are the others?”
“Everyone is still inside looking at souvenirs.”
“I see”
I’m not sure how to continue the conversation.
The heat was sticking to the inside of my throat, and even swallowing my spit required effort.
For a while, we both stared blankly at the swaying trees and passing cars.
“But it’s so hot~”
Natsumi looked up at the sky with a cheerful voice as if to change the subject.
“Yeah,”
“I hope it’s cooler when we get back.~”
I also look up as if to check the color of the sky.
“That’s right. ……….”
“Hey, have you ever thought about the future, Shoma?”
“The future?”
I ask back to Natsumi’s sudden question.
“Look, we’re already sophomores in high school. Have you ever wondered what kind of university you want to go to or where you want to work?”
Natsumi san’s voice was as bright and cheerful as ever. I can feel my mood darkening in inverse proportion to her bright and cheerful voice.
This is because I don’t have the confidence to say it strongly enough, and I’ve been doing it for a long time without giving it much thought.
“I’m thinking that I want to go to the same university as Shoma~”
“Eh?”
I turned around to look at Natsumi’s straight words.
“I like Shoma …..”
“Wha! what…”
I noticed Natsumi’s eyes staring straight at me, and I stopped myself from saying, ‘What are you talking about?’ Natsumi apologized, waving her hands in front of her body in a panic, as if she felt awkward seeing me like that.
“I-I’m sorry! It’s not nice to be told things like this when we’ve only just gotten to know each other.”
“Ah, no, it’s nothing like that ……….”
“But you know, I really wanted to tell you because it was the first time I really felt like I liked someone.”
When did it start ……………?
The bright smile that I saw earlier has changed to a face so serious that my cheeks are stained red, the eyes that should have been smiling are a little moist, and the voice that sounded so bright is coming from lips that are trembling so much. And her hands were clenched so tightly that she couldn’t keep her hair from blowing in her face.
[I wasn’t looking at Natsumi at all.]
I suddenly felt sorry for myself and involuntarily looked down. Compared to Natsumi’s straightforward confession, looking back at what I had always done, I suddenly felt ashamed of myself.
Thinking about it, I don’t think I’ve had that luxury since I started wearing these glasses 《LOVE GLASSES》.
When someone’s number goes down, I look for a reason, and when the number comes back up, I feel relieved. I have been living my life in such a backward way, dealing with problems after they occurred.
To put it worse, I was tied down by this thing.
So right now, when the girl in front of me is trembling with courage and telling me how she feels, I can’t even look at her straight in the eye.
[Is it okay for someone like that to be next to someone!]
I put the luggage I was carrying on the ground, pounded my fist on my thigh, and looked up and straight at Natsumi.
“Shoma?”
Natsumi looked into my face with concern.
“….. sorry ……… I lied.”
I took a deep breath to calm myself and apologized, still staring straight into her eyes. I couldn’t bow my head because I felt it would be rude to look away any longer.
“I’m in love with someone.”
She opened her eyes wide at my words and bit her lower lip, then turned her head down and gave a small smile.
“Yeah….I know. I probably even know who it is.”
After muttering this, Natsumi slowly looked up. The eyes that were illuminated by the light seemed to be swaying, and it was very painful to see. The sunlight that was beginning to change the color of Okinawa was making Natsumi’s eyes sparkle. I nodded slowly, straining my neck not to look away.
“So, you see, I can’t respond to Natsumi’s feelings.”
I said that much and bowed deeply.
“I’m sorry.”
If I were the hero of a comic book or a movie, I would probably be able to say something cooler than that. But I couldn’t do that. I thought I had to respond to her straight thoughts, even if it wasn’t cool to do so.
Natsumi closes her eyes and sighs, then spins her words.
“Ahhhh~, my first love has broken my heart~”
She kicked a fallen stone away from me as she said this in a loud voice.
“I’m so sorry ……….”
I hurriedly followed her with my luggage and bowed my head again.
Seeing this, Natsumi giggles.
“Don’t apologize so much. In fact, I thought this would probably happen.”
“…………….”
“Because it’s so easy to understand, and even if I didn’t want to, I understood it.”
Natsumi raised her glasses as she said this, and once again stared at the sky with the sparkling sun. I couldn’t ask her, ‘Then why did you confess your feelings?’ I stared at Natsumi’s profile.
“But I wanted to express my feelings…Maybe I’m being selfish, but I really wanted to express my feelings more than the other person’s feelings.”
Natsumi looked back at me with her usual bright smile.
“So, yeah, it’s a little heartbreaking, but I have no regrets!”
Saying this, Natsumi struck a spirited pose with a “Muu.” I laughed a little at her playfulness, but I thought she was cool for having the courage to tell me how she felt.
“I too …….”
“Hmm?”
“I wonder if I can tell her how I feel?”
I wonder if I’ll be able to convey my feelings directly like Natsumi. It might be unreasonable and pathetic to ask this question to the person I’ve hurt, but I wanted to have the courage to push me back.
“It’s going to be okay, Shoma!”
Natsumi said, grabbing me forcefully with both hands.
“Besides, you know, ……….”
“besides?”
I look at Natsumi’s face. The moment our eyes met, she smiled mischievously and started spinning around.
“I’m so frustrated, I won’t tell you~!”
“Eh? Ah, yes, that’s right. ……… Really, I’m sorry.”
“But…”
She stopped spinning and took my right hand.
“Hmm?”
“I’ll give you the legendary amulet.”
Natsumi wrapped a red cord around my wrist as she said the line like a character who gives a legendary weapon to a hero
“What’s this?”
“A talisman of courage.”
“You can’t give me that …….”
“It’s okay ……… because my wish won’t come true for the time being.”
Natsumi muttered a little while tying the string so it wouldn’t come loose.
“Yes, here.”
“Thank you.”
The red string has a silver ornament attached to it that glitters every time I move my arm.
“I’m going……. everyone’s waiting.”
“Okay, bye.”
We started walking in different directions at the same time.
“Hey, just as a friend!…Can I contact you again?”
I heard Natsumi’s voice from behind me. I turned around and replied in a loud voice.
“O-Of course!”
She smiled at my voice, waved her hand and walked toward the store where her friends might be. I kept looking at her back with “respect” and “thank you” until I couldn’t see her anymore.
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