Source
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/16818093093605365078/episodes/16818622175550086264
■Misawa Yuto
My first impression of Nishimeya Hinayo was, “She looks like a hina doll,” a reaction that sounded like an elementary school student.
Well, I met her in elementary school when we happened to be sitting next to each other, so it was an age-appropriate reaction.
I was simply intrigued by her beautiful figure.
I think it was because I was somewhat curious about her when I spoke to her for the first time.
“Hey, what’s your name? I’m Misawa Yuto.”
“……”
“Hey, are you listening to me?”
“……..nayo.”
“What?”
“N-Nishimeya……H-Hinayo……”
“Keep your voice down.”
“I-I’m sorry…….”
“I don’t understand why you’re apologizing.”
“I-I’m sorry….”
“If you want to apologize so badly, why don’t you look people in the eye? That’s what I was taught to do.”
“Y-yes…….I’m sorry.”
My eyes met Hinayo’s as she uttered a pathetic apology.
Now that I think about it, I may have been misled by Hinayo from that moment on.
Her eyes were beautiful and sparkling, partly because they were a little teary.
I think I had a kind of possessive desire not to show these eyes to anyone, even though I was very young.
However, despite my feelings, my character was not so honest that I could honestly tell her that she was beautiful.
When I looked into her beautiful eyes, I felt ashamed of myself, and I began to be blunt to hide my embarrassment.
“Hinayo, your eyes are scary.”
“I-I’m sorry…….”
“I’d be shocked if you glared at me like that. You can’t make any friends now, so you’ll just be even more lonely.”
“That’s true……what should I do…..?”
“I dunno. Why don’t you put a blindfold on?”
That word must have stung.
Hinayo began to grow her bangs and by the time she entered junior high school, her eyes was completely hidden from view.
Even in junior high school, she still didn’t have any friends.
However, Hinayo would only talk to me.
I would point out Hinayo’s bad points one-sidedly, and it could be called “moral harassment” if you look at it from the side.
But at that time, I believed that this was communication.
No, no, I was so childish that I could only converse in this way.
Shewould give me chocolates on Valentine’s Day, and in return, I would give her some random sweets I bought at a department store, and she would be very happy.
I never gave Hinayo a present for her birthday, but when it came to my birthday, she would prepare some kind of present for me.
It was a very unbalanced relationship.
If things continue as they are, Hinayo will only be able to rely on me. Then I could have her all to myself at will.
The unhealthy sense of superiority I gained from this false “communication” drove me completely crazy.
Then, when I was preparing for the high school entrance exam, an incident occurred.
“—Huh? What did you say?”
“I failed….at my first choice……”
“Huh? I don’t get it. Did you not study hard enough to fail so easily?”
“…………”
“Why don’t you say something? In the first place, you said you wanted to go to the same high school as me.”
“That’s…..true, but……”
“I also helped you with your studies so that you could pass the exam, right? I taught you the key points so that you could overcome your weaknesses, right? You made me put in so much effort, and now you’re telling me this?”
“I-I’m sorry…….”
Hinayo failed to get into her first choice of high school–one of the top schools in the prefecture.
She was quite good at studying, so she always said that she wanted to go to the same high school as me.
Even after becoming a high school student, it’s natural that Hinayo will always by my side.
I thought it was a matter of course for me, so the fact that Hinayo had failed was something I could never accept.
“Well then, how about you retake the exam? Surely you can pass if you try hard for another year? Well, you’ll end up being my junior, though.”
“That’s…..something my parents won’t allow me…..to do.”
“Hm? What did you say?”
“My parents said…..that I should go to the high school that I got as a backup…….”
“No no, I’m not talking about Hinayo’s parents. I’m just telling you to try your best for another year. Why would you go to a backup school? Going to such a low-level high school would be bad for Hinayo’s future, wouldn’t it?”
“But…..it’s not a good idea to be held back a year…..”
“Hmm, you’re being timid. I’m clearly saying it for Hinayo’s sake, but you’re ignoring me.”
“I-I didn’t mean it that way……”
“Fine, go ahead, go to your second choice. But there’s no one there to care about you, you hear? You’ll be on your own at best.”
I was frustrated.
Unable to process my frustration, I took it out on Hinayo.
I thought that if I hit Hinayo hard enough, I might be able to change her mind about going to a high school that she had slipped through the cracks at.
However, in the end, Hinasyodid not repeat the year and instead went on to a backup high school.
The fact that Hinayo didn’t do what I wanted for the first time accelerated my possessive desire.
Even though we were both attending different high schools, I kept obsessing over her, hoping to make contact with Hinayo at some point.
“–Someone who would say such things to the people I care about is not even a friend ! Please don’t get involved with me any more…!”
Then those words from Hinayo.
Things didn’t go the way I expected, and she built relationships in the direction she chose.
A female friend who looked like a dim-witted gal, and a guy who looked like a lump of plainness. People who were definitely not worthy of her.
But Hinayo seemed strangely happy.
Why is that?
You’re the girl who has to do what I want, aren’t you?
Why are you taking it easy in such a place, in such a shitty environment…..
Weird, Weird, Weird, Weird, Weird, Weird, Weird, Weird, Weird, Weird, Weird, Weird, Weird, Weird, Weird….!
Hinayo is mine…she belongs to me…!
I couldn’t stop moping.
I wanted to vent my frustration somewhere. But there was no place to do so.
One day, when I was on my way to the prep school after school, I saw Hinayo and the other two. They seemed to be going into her house.
They looked like they had just finished a test, and their faces looked as if they had lost their nervousness.
They looked so stupid.
I guess she is going to have a lot of fun. She had completely changed.
I was disgusted to see that.
I thought I would feel superior by seeing Hinayo’s fallen figure.
But I couldn’t skip cram school.
After the class, I would go back to Hinayo’s house to see how she was doing.
Even that stupid-looking woman and that plain-looking man must be just taking advantage of Hinayo.
On my way home, I passed by Hinayo’s house.
The second floor, where her room is located, still has a light on, even though it is getting late at night.
The curtains were open and I could see shadows.
It’s backlit and dimly lit, so it’s hard to tell who it is.
However, I’m sure there are two people.
One is on all fours with her hand on the window, and the other is behind her as if they were playing twister…..
Through the window, I can hear a little bit of Hinayo’s voice as she is shaken with pleasure.
…..Eh? Are you kidding me……?
H-Hinayo……?
N-no way, with that plain looking guy……?
My….my Hinayo i…..
Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa—-
I fell to my knees.
Because I didn’t take good care of something precious, a total stranger had taken it from me.
…..But despite the events before me, as I collapsed to my knees, I somehow felt my heart racing.
Why……?
Why am I getting excited…..?
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