Source
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/16817330662140414210/episodes/16817330663611937050
Paper is the best way to get your thoughts out. How did I come to think so?
Probably because of Rika’s influence.
Ever since she was a child, Rika has kept a diary. If we exclude a few troubles, she’ll be keeping a diary every day for more than ten years.
I once asked her why she kept a diary.
–I think it is to look at my mind objectively. When I’m crazy, it becomes normal to be crazy. Habituation is a terrible thing.
She told me this.
I have often thought about keeping a diary, but I have never done it. It was not for me, a person who cannot stick to anything who lacked the power of continuity.
Instead, I got into the habit of putting my thoughts down on paper when I was in a slump.
“Rika and I met again, and then there was the school festival, and so on.”
I wrote them down one after another. The timeline is disjointed. It was almost as if I was impatiently picking up stones from upstream.
After writing down some of the events, I organized them in chronological order.
Happy, joyful, and comfortable. These were the most common feelings in the beginning.
Scary, boring, and frightening. It is only recently that these feelings have increased.
To be honest, I did not want to admit that I was afraid of Rika. Rika has always been my ally, and above all, she treats me favorably.
For me, who had been betrayed for so long, it was the only thing that saved me. Of course, I cannot exclude the fact that the time I spend with Rika is exceptional.
Recently, Rika has been giving off a negative aura. She was showing malice toward some people and was not looking at me. She seemed more eager than usual.
Looking back at the facts, the reason for Rika’s madness is clear. Kisaki Saki dumped me. It all comes down to this.
I’m not as angry as I used to be. Now that she has met her true love, Kisaragi, I can afford to let them do their own thing. Of course, I know that Kisaki was the cause of her outburst.
Even so, Rika is all I need right now.
Needless to say, it was Rika’s hard work and mental support that made me feel that way. Now that we had passed the climax, Rika, who had been like an angel, was now showing the aspect of a demon.
It was hard to believe. Rika’s anger toward Kisaki far exceeded my own.
I don’t know what she is doing. Was she doing what she had done for me in the past when I was in trouble?
If so, it was too much. Kisaki is on the verge of collapse. Her appearance has deteriorated, and she is being driven into a corner mentally.
No doubt she wanted to punish her, but I didn’t. It is nothing more than she could not tolerate the mentality that justifies cheating it as if it were her own value.
I was calm enough to hope that she would eventually suffer a painful experience in her relationships with men, and that she would receive retribution for her actions.
“You understand, don’t you, Rika?”
It was a hard choice for me to distance myself from her. That’s why I don’t want to end without reaping any rewards.
My mind was ready. By writing it down, I realized once again how important Rika was to me.
Tired in body and mind, I rolled over in bed.
I dozed off and my consciousness faded away.
“Rika…..”
As if to catch me as I mentioned her name, my phone emitted a ringtone.
Although I was still awake, I felt obligated to answer the incoming call.
“Hello?”
[Masatoshi, sorry for the short notice.]
“I thought you said you weren’t going to be in touch for a while…….”
I thought I only needed to wait another day or so, and since I was willing to wait until the next day, I didn’t act as if I was angry with her.
[I wanted to tell you something.]
“What?”
[I had the Kisaki matter firmly sorted out in my mind. I realized that my outburst was unstoppable, beyond Masatoshi’s wishes.]
“Rika……”
She may be speaking seriously, but her voice is somewhat cheerful. I don’t see any of the devastated feelings I felt when we parted ways. It’s cheerfulness itself.
[I’ve had a proper talk with Kisaki.]
“You met her !?”
[I haven’t met her directly. But I told her what I wanted to say.]
“I didn’t know that…….”
I never thought she would challenge Kisaki to a direct confrontation. There is no stopping Rika’s actions. I didn’t want it to come out that way, but it’s not a matter of “overturn” or “return”.
I didn’t want the story to get complicated, I thought. I wondered what was actually going on.
[She can’t change anymore. Unless there is strong external pressure.]
“Even with Rika’s power, you couldn’t do it.”
[But you can rest assured now. If I can attack the entourage, it won’t be hard to take down the main castle.]
“What do you mean?”
“Kisaki Saki has lost her allies. Even if I don’t intervene any further, she will collapse on her own.”
I don’t know why, as I haven’t heard any specifics.
But Rika’s words were heavy. She was in a good mood, so she was more confident than usual.
“It’s exactly what I call karma.”
[I guess I was in too much of a rush to succeed. But I decided to consider the result as a blessing in disguise. Of course, I admit that I overdid it.]
“Can you go back to the Rika I knew before?”
[Yeah. When there’s a wall in front of me, I try desperately to break it down.]
“Yeah right.”
[The day may come when Kisaki apologizes to Masatoshi]
“I can’t imagine that.”
[When you see a scene that goes beyond your imagination, the excitement you get is the best.]
A scene that goes beyond your imagination, huh?
It would be nice to have that. The taste of revenge is sweet, and the taste of misfortune is honey. The sight of someone you don’t like going under makes a good meal.
But it is not an elegant meal. The aftertaste will be bad. If there is something else that gives you a taste of sweet honey and a sense of euphoria, you should give priority to that.
“I’m looking forward to it. But more than that, the time I spend with Rika is the best.”
[Masatoshi……]
“I’m a childhood friend who won’t let you down either.”
Rika replied simply.
The call ended after a few conversations. Rika is by no means a quick-witted person.
She is smart, but she is also easily swayed by the heat of the moment. There was nothing I could do about it. I had to cool her down quickly in some way.
I’m glad to see that this time, the method of keeping my distance from her seems to have worked. At this rate, the school trip would surely be an enjoyable one.
I was able to have such confidence.
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