Source
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/16818093092581245166/episodes/16818622171976569463
“Hey Celes. You don’t hate being with me, do you?”
As soon as he said that, Sol thought, “Oh, no. This is like trying to get her to say she doesn’t mind”. Just a pain in the ass.
Celes held Sol’s hand and looked at him seriously.
“I can’t possibly hate you! I am happy with Sol!”
Sol was about to cry when he heard those words. This is not like Sol. If he showed his soft side, he would be hated. The words he had said to himself so many times just a short while ago were heard somewhere in the distance.
Ah, before he knew it, the fear that he would be hated if he didn’t become Sol had become so small. Every time he showed a part of himself that was a kind person, every time he showed a part of himself that was not bright like Sol, Celes accepted him kindly, so he felt that even if he did not smile brightly like Sol, even if he showed such a troublesome part of himself, only Celes would forgive him.
She smiled gently at Sol, as she always did.
“Sol, what’s wrong? Is something wrong?”
Sol felt like clinging to such a gentle voice of Celes.
“I saw Torsa this morning.
He said he can’t be friends with me anymore ……. He said he was scared of what happened with Behe. …… I thought about it. Torsa was in danger because he was friends with me, and I didn’t think about that at all. ……”
“I see……”
“Me, I’m always like that. I thought I was protecting him, but I didn’t realize that he was hurt by something else, and in the end, I wasn’t protecting him at all. I wanted to be someone who could help, but I couldn’t do anything on my own. ……”
In his previous life, he had been a constant nuisance. He didn’t know why Satoru died, but he knew that he thought he was protecting him, but he couldn’t protect him.
So, at least in this world, He wanted to be someone who was necessary to someone else. He was trying to repay a favor or some other reason, but really he just wanted to find a reason for his existence in this world.
“Why do you want to be so useful, Sol?”
“Because who needs me if I can’t be useful?”
When Sol said this, Celes’s eyes shook as if she was a little upset for some reason, and then she smiled sadly.
“Sol is with me because of that?”
“No! That’s not true. .”…..
“Me too. I told you, I’m happy being with Sol.”
Sol could not swallow Celes’ words. He heard a voice in the back of his mind denying that it was possible.
“Why? I’ve done nothing for Celes…”
“That’s not true. I mean, whenever I was trying to do everything on my own, Sol would always help me. And you saved me so much. In fact, I’ve never been able to repay you. So I wish Sol would rely on me more.”
Her words made him feel relieved that he could be of some help to Celes. But just as he felt relieved, Yuto in his previous life shouted at him, telling him not to worry.
In his previous life, Satoru had told him that nothing had been done to him since the target of his torment had shifted from Satoru to him. A short time later, however, his homeroom teacher told him that Satoru had died. Although the cause of death was kept secret, the truth was easily spread by rumor.
Yuto’s head was in turmoil, wondering why and how. He had always thought of him as a friend. But he had never told him anything. He believed Satoru’s words that it would be all right, and was simply relieved. And he didn’t notice anything.
He didn’t know what was wrong, what was wrong with him, nothing
But he was reincarnated in this world, and was reassured by the kindness of this world. And relieved, he repeated it again. This time he was unaware of Torsa’s suffering.
“Sol ……?”
Sol looked down without saying anything, and Celes looked at him with concern.
“I’m scared. I’m so relieved that everything will be fine that I’ll end up doing something stupid. I’m unreliable, so if I start to depend on her, I’ll end up not noticing the suffering around me and everyone will disappear. I don’t want Celes to disappear. I don’t want her to disappear without noticing anything because I’ve been so dependent on her.”
The moment Sol said these words, he was enveloped by a warmth. He knew immediately that it was because of her hug.
“I’m not going anywhere.
I will always, always be with you.”
But Sol could not immediately hug her back. He was too scared to believe her words that she would always be there for him.
Seeing Sol, Celes pulled away a little to look at his face.
“Yes, Sol. Think about it the other way around, okay? I’m strong, aren’t I?”
He did not grasp the intent of Celes’ words. But it was true that she was strong, and Sol nodded.
“Right, Sol. So, you know? I don’t need you to protect me, I can be with you. It is not a relationship like Torsa’s, where you have to protect everything. We support each other.”
“Support ……, and we’ll be together …….”
“Yes. But, like now, we tell each other when we are having a hard time. Just as Sol is worried about not being aware of the suffering of those around him, I am worried about not being aware of Sol’s suffering. Of course, I will tell it”
“I’ll tell …..too”
He is not a disgrace right now, Sol thinks. He was still unreliable, unable to do anything without the strength of Celes, and yet he felt helplessly reassured by her words that she was not going anywhere.
Ah, what would Celes say if he told her about his past life, including his own? Would she be taken aback? But even if she would be stunned, he would still be able to talk about it…….
“Sol.”
Celes calls Sol’s name softly.
“Just like you said before that you loved me no matter what I was, I love you no matter what Sol was like. I’ll be by your side no matter what Sol was like. I’m not going anywhere. So, feel free to tell me anything, be spoiled, and be by my side.”
“Yeah. ……. Thanks ……. I love …… Celes too …….”
Sol couldn’t help but be reassured by Celes’ words, which drowned out the anxiety he felt in his heart and proved what he had come to expect, and Sol hugged Celes as if clinging to her.
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