Source
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/16818093089294325079/episodes/16818093089309189058
★side: Sasauchi Kaoru
“Eh? Why…..”
After school today, I had promised to go home with my childhood friend, Shin, so I hurried back to the classroom after delivering the handouts requested by the teacher.
When I was about to enter the classroom, Shin came out from the opposite door.
He was also with my classmate Hiroshikii Kirara……
The two of them walked down the hallway without noticing me.
For some reason, Shin and Kirara san had become very close since they entered high school.
When I asked what had happened, he only told me that they had become friends by chance.
These days, he probably spends more time with Kirara san than with me…..
And Shin’s face when he talks to Kirara…..
“Shin…..weren’t you planning on going home with me,…….”
No,…..maybe he’s planning on waiting for me at the school gate.
With that in mind, I hurriedly grabbed my bag and headed to the school gate while holding back tears.
◆
–I changed my shoes and walked out the front door.
“Shin….”
When I looked for Shin, he was already gone at the entrance.
I hurried to the school gate.
“……”
There I saw Shin walking with Kirara san out of the school gate.
“Why…..are you……”
I was terribly hurt that I had been left behind.
I felt really sad when I saw Shin break his promise to me and go home with Kirara san.
I wish he would have at least contacted me……
It’s still sad, but I wanted it to at least go that way…
“Hiks…..”
I was already on the verge of crying, but I managed to hold it in because I was still on school grounds and there were a lot of people.
Then I was walking.
I can see them ahead of me because we are on the same way home……
You might think that I should take a different path, but I can’t because I’m worried about the two of them.
I can’t hear them because of the distance, but Kirara san pats Makoto on the back and they seem to be very close……
And Shin looks so happy…….
My eyes were moist with tears.
I’m aware that I have a weak heart myself.
I’ve been trying to cure myself of this personality for a long time, but it hasn’t worked.
I was so sad to see him breaking his promise with me and having fun with other girls that I couldn’t hold back my tears.
It was at that time….the two of them stopped and I hid in the shadows in a hurry as the distance between us closed.
“Shin, do you have a girlfriend?”
“No, I don’t……”
“Then who do you like?”
“I-I don’t have anyone I like.”
“Huh, I see, but aren’t you and Kaoru chan childhood friends? Don’t you like her?”
My heart skipped a beat when I heard that.
I wonder what Shin thinks about me……
“N-no,…..Kaoru is just a childhood friend……”
“But Kaoru chan is so cute, right? So why?”
“Because……there’s no way I can see someone I’ve known since I was little as an object of romantic interest,……and Kaoru is childish and a bit of a handful at times, so there’s no way I’d fall in love with Kaoru.”
“I didn’t expect that.”
After having such a conversation, they started walking again.
And Shin’s last words deeply wounded my heart.
“W…..why…..?”
And then the two of them began to link arms.
It also looks like Shin’s the one initiated it…
I was sitting on the ground the moment I saw it.
After that, I just cried without looking at the two of them.
Shin loves Kirara san……I just thought that and cried.
And after that I was taken by Ohgo Kaito kun, who happened to be nearby.
There were many bad rumors about him.
I was scared of him too, but he was so pushy that I couldn’t say no and went with him.
And I wasn’t thinking straight……
His house was big and empty.
Even though I thought it was a bad idea, I couldn’t tell him.
Despite my thoughts, he was kinder than I thought he would be…..he listened to me and comforted me.
I have to admit that I was quite hurt that Shin chose Kirara san over me.
I probably would have cried in that place for a long time if he hadn’t been there.
A few moments later I was pushed down.
I understood what was about to happen:…..
At that time I thought…..Kirara san is a type of person who goes all out.
Maybe Shin also……
Then I thought that I might just go along with it……
I might regret it tomorrow……but it hurt me enough to think so. It was sad. And it was painful.
If I were a normal girl, I might not have felt this way, or maybe it was because my heart was weak……
And so I offered him my first time……
◆
–The next day I woke up and Kaito kun was awake.
I looked at Kaito kun and saw that he was naked,…..or rather I was naked too.
I was so embarrassed remembering what happened yesterday that I covered my chest and crotch with my hands and greeted him. But I was surprisingly calm.
“Good morning……”
“Wha !?”
I was about to die of embarrassment, but when I managed to greet him, Kaito kun reacted in a funny way.
I don’t know what it was, but for some reason he had a very surprised expression on his face.
Then I looked down and saw that Kaito kun’s part had grown very large.
That big thing was in me yesterday……
It was even bigger than that.
I thought so, and I muttered to myself.
“It’s getting bigger again……”
I was so embarrassed that I said that.
Maybe Kaito kun will come at me again…
I was acting crazy yesterday, but I can’t afford to make another mistake.
I said this in a panic, feeling embarrassed.
“I’m sorry,……but yesterday was the first time for me too, so I might not be able to do it now.”
I said so, but he didn’t reply…….
I looked up a little later and saw that Kaito kun had a troubled look on his face.
I honestly don’t believe that Kaito kun is who they say he is, but if it’s true, I was a little scared that whatever I said would be pushed down now, but I didn’t feel that way.
“What’s wrong, Kaito kun?”
“…….”
When I asked that, Kaito kun cowered on his stomach.
“No, I just have a stomach ache…..I’m gonna go to the restroom for a bit.”
“Yeah. Sure.”
Did his stomach really hurt?
I thought so, but I was relieved that I wasn’t pushed down and started to get dressed.
“Haa, I’ve done it……”
I have to admit I’m feeling awfully crazy right now……
Yesterday I was out of my mind.
I should have known from rumors what kind of person Kaito kun is.
No,….. actually Kaito kun was not as bad as the rumors.
I’m sure I could have said no yesterday, and I wasn’t forced into it.
He was always kind and comforting to me……
“And just like that……”
It was my first time, and it hurt a lot at first,……but at the end……
I felt my face heat up, remembering yesterday.
“Haa.”
I believed that my first time will be with Shin, but…..
I can say I regret it.
But I don’t resent Kaito kun for it…..this is because my heart was weak.
On the contrary, Kaito kun was a good person and his likability has definitely increased.
If Kaito kun wasn’t here, I would’ve been crying at home right now.
But I still like Shin…….that hasn’t changed.
So I can never make that mistake again.
I need to talk to Shin properly…
–After that, Kaito kun came back.
“Welcome back…….”
When I said that, unexpected words came back.
“Are you okay? I might have forced you too much the first time.”
“Yeah…it hurt at first, but you were kind to me and it felt good towards the end…”
Kaito kun looked worried as he said that.
He’s different from the rumors after all.
That’s why I don’t have any negative feelings towards Kaito kun right now…maybe my senses are messed up because of too many things, but I’m not sure.
That’s what I thought, so I told the truth…but I’m really embarrassed…
“Well, that’s good to hear…..are you able to move now?”
“It’s still a little uncomfortable, but I’ll be fine in a little while……”
I honestly don’t know how to describe it, but that’s how I feel.
“Is it embarrassing after all?”
“Y-yes……”
“I see. Then let’s talk a little more slowly.”
“I understand……”
Kaito kun said as he came to sit right next to me.
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