Episode 1 – Me And Me

Ignorance is a sin that is more unforgivable than anything else.

Tachibana Kanata realized this when he passed the turning point of his middle school life.

On that fateful day, the eyes of envy turned to jealousy and contempt, and all of his places were taken away from him.

I just wanted to be useful to someone.

I was a grandma’s child at heart. Grandmas who never got sick and was healthy until her last day. I was often left at grandma’s house because of my single-mother household. My grandma died before I entered elementary school, but I remember her words.

The good you do for others is the good you do for yourself

She used to say these words to me like a habit. It’s a Japanese saying that means what you do for others will come back to you in a positive way.

With these words as my belief, I became a hero of justice by the time I entered elementary school. I would defeat the wicked and help the weak. Of course, there were times when I was looked down upon and it was tough, but those were the most fulfilling days for me.

I made friends along the way, exposed a few scandals, and achieved some successes despite our young age. But then things came to a sudden end..

My former friends pointed at me and treated me as an enemy, and everyone I had helped in the past looked at me with fearful eyes.

I argued back again and again. I pleaded many times. But they wouldn’t listen to me. And then the bullying began, to humiliate me.

After all, this was all about my self-satisfaction.

I soon broke down and spent half of my middle school years at home. You could call it ‘truancy’. My mother allowed me to spend my middle school years at home without asking me why. I’m sure it was out of her own consideration.

[Even heroes need rest.]

These were the words of my mother in the past. These words penetrated my weakened heart, but at the same time, they made me feel something strange.

What is a….hero?

I didn’t want to be a hero. I just wanted to be able to help people. But I realized that it was just another form of self-satisfaction.

In the end, everything I had done up to that point had been for nothing.

[No more….hero.]

At least I couldn’t be a hero. Then where was the hero who could save me? If they don’t exist, that would be unreasonable. To me, this world is too harsh.

But my middle school years are mercilessly passing by. No hero appeared to take me out of my room. That was the moment I was convinced that there were no heroes in this world.

Then, around the time I entered the third year of middle school, I received a phone call from my homeroom teacher like a demon, as if she had grown tired of my situation. She told me that she was conducting a survey on my career prospects. There were several students like me who were not attending school, but I was the only one who had not submitted a survey.

Still, I never missed a day of study, but the days were dark, and I didn’t know what I was studying for. Well, even so, I would have received an “S” grade in the mock examinations at any high school around there.

So I chose the high school with the highest deviation score and was easily accepted. People at my middle school are not very smart. I was sure that no one would come here. After that hellish day, that was the only day I left my room, and I never went outside, not even to the graduation ceremony.

“What could’ve gone wrong?”

I began to think like that as I was about to enter high school. I had been an unrecoverable boy until now, but I was only a little bit closer to adulthood.

In addition, my family environment has become more complicated.

To my surprise, my mother decided to remarry. He was a gentleman who worked at a research institute, and he had a daughter close to my age. My mother had more people to love, and after having a step daughter, she began to laugh as if she had forgotten about me. On the contrary, she treated me more and more roughly day by day.

Just before those days began, my mother said to me,

“Oh that’s right, Kanata. Your last name will change, so you’d better remember it now.”

Suddenly, my name changed. Tachibana, which I had been accustomed to using, became my former surname, and I was given the surname Shiina. In other words, from now on, I will be called Shiina Kanata. I don’t have any particular hatred for it, but at the same time, I had a thought.

(Maybe……I should change too.)

And so I decided to throw away all the naivety I’d had up until now.

I don’t reach out to anyone in need in front of me anymore.

I don’t work for anyone but myself.

I live only for myself.

Even my mother, who had been kind to me, poured out her love to her new family as if she had forgotten about her son. In this family, my existence would be a hindrance.

I, Tachibana Kanata, who was kind, is dead.

From now on, I will love myself and do my best to eliminate anything that tries to threaten my world.

I vowed to do so and left home for the first time in a while. Today is the day of the entrance ceremony.

Be strong and proud.

That’s why I, Shiina Kanata, have decided to live alone.

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