Source
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/16818023212795389552/episodes/16818093073765009502
During my lunch break, I went to turn in an assignment to my art teacher and…..suddenly felt strange. The windows were closed, but the wind was blowing.
I looked for the place where the wind was blowing and found a staircase leading to the rooftop. The wind was blowing from there.
The window wasn’t open. I went to see what was wrong and found that the door to the rooftop was slightly open.
At the same time, I felt a shiver down my spine.
In case there was a suicide or something….I couldn’t ignore it.
The rooftop is surrounded by a sturdy fence, and it seems impossible to do such a thing. I was relieved by that fact.
But there was a person there.
There was Kusunoki in the corner with her phone in her hand—crying.
“……K-Kusunoki?”
“……Yukito kun? Why…..”
I called her name and she finally noticed my presence and looked up.
“The wind was blowing from the off-limits rooftop, and it bothered me. Kusunoki, why are you….”
….I wonder if this okay to ask. Probably not, I feel.
These thoughts disappeared when I glanced at the screen of the phone that caught my eye.
[Death.]
[Go away.]
[Whore.]
“Why is this…”
“Eh? ……Ah ! This, this is, you know. Ahaha. I wonder what it is. ……You know.”
She immediately tried to put on a smile, but it turned out to be crooked. As the words finished, it became impossible to correct them.
“……Anti?”
“……It has been for a while now. They know my work e-mail address and send me these things. W-wait ! Don’t worry, this is nothing to worry about !”
Even though she said that, the tears that flowed from her beautiful eyes did not stop.
“I don’t care about this at all. I’m not worried about it at all.Yeah, I’m fine. ….I’m fine.”
The word [fine] was not spoken to me, but to herself.
“Kusunoki……”
“I-I’ll be right back. Yeah, don’t worry about it.”
…..She tried not to make her fans worry even in times like this.
I would like to say that she has an amazing idol spirit.
“Listen to me, Kusunoki Nanami.”
Her shoulders jumped.
“I just want to ask you one question. Is that the reason for your absence?”
“—-“
Kusunoki was about to nod for a moment, but stopped moving.
“Is that one of the reasons…? Sit here.”
She nodded as she sat down next to me, a little distance away. I took out a handkerchief from my breast pocket while looking at it.
“Here’s one I haven’t used yet, so please use it.”
“……Thanks.”
“……I gave you the handkerchief, but if you don’t accept it because it’s from a guy, you don’t have to use it.”
“N-no ! That’s not true.”
Then it’s good. …I may be saying this with care, but if I think about it, there’s no end to it, so I’ll leave it at that.
I wait a little while, watching Kusunoki use the handkerchief.
After about ten minutes, she seems to have calmed down a little and the tears are no longer running down her cheeks.
Then, she began to murmur.
“…Ever since it was found out. I started seeing people say bad things about me.”
“……Bad things?”
“Yeah. When I was walking around town. When I was checking out the reactions to the show. When I was looking at the reaction to a song. I started to see more bad words than words of support.”
Although her voice was small, I didn’t miss her words. It can’t be.
“Everything I do, I see people saying bad things about me…..it’s getting hard. I’m starting to worry about the harassment. Manager san told me to take a break.”
“……”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I made you listen to this story. ……I’m really, really sorry. I don’t think I can go back yet.”
Tears began to stream from her eyes again.
……I didn’t realize that she had been driven to this point.
She let out a big breath once.
I’m so stupid.
“……So my words ended up being a burden.”
After all, I was the one who was putting the most stress on my idol. Not just words…but presence.
If such a big fan were nearby, you wouldn’t be able to relax. Even though I meant that—-
“T-that’s not true!”
I was denied by a very loud voice.
When I looked over in surprise, I saw Kusunoki approaching me, and she said.
“Y-Yukito kun told me he loves me. I was so happy, it’s true.”
“K-Kusunoki?”
“When Yukito kun complimented me, my heart felt warm and happy…I thought that a real voice could make me so happy. That’s what I thought, so don’t say things like that. Yukito kun.”
Wait, too close. She’s close, but it smells so good.
I”‘m really, really happy ! I was so happy !”
When I came to my senses, I saw her face right in front of me. I kept my mouth shut.
……
“You were happy?”
“Y-yeah ! I was really happy.
I wanted to work hard again.”
“I see.”
Suddenly, a ridiculous idea popped into my head. The reason denies the suggestion, but it doesn’t go away.
“Is my support helping you?”
“It is. ……Especially lately. I’m not lying.”
I let out one big breath.
Suddenly, a sentence came to my mind: “I’m not going to lie to you.
“…I read somewhere the other day that if a small amount of mud gets mixed into a wine barrel, it can no longer be called wine.”
“‘……?”
“But then I thought. What if it was in a pool instead of a barrel,……? A small amount of mud mixed in with the ocean won’t reduce the number of people swimming in it. I figured we’d be eating the fish that live there.”
Well, maybe the exact meaning is a little different. What I’m trying to say is–
“I think Kusunoki is similar. You’re worried about the abuse mixed in with the cheering, aren’t you?”
When I finally got confirmation, Kusunoki gave a small nod.
“There’s not much we fans can do for our idols. ….We can only support.”
But that also means that we can support them.
“If Kusunoki Nanami’s top priority says that she is happy with the support of her fans, then I will support her until my throat gets ripped out.”
“Y-you don’t have to go that far, okay?”
“I’m prepared for that, just as long as my throat can stand it.”
I look straight back at Kusunoki’s beautiful face.
“I like Kusunoki Nanami more than I can help myself.”
“……!”
Her eyes became round and round.
“Yeah. You’re so cute that even a goddess would envy you.”
“I-it’s leaking.”
“Eh? I did it on purpose. I do love you.”
“B-but love is.”
“Because I love you, I can’t help it.”
I corrected my expression once again. I look into Kusunoki’s eyes.
Then, I declared.
“I’m gonna keep saying [I love you] to Kusunoki Nanami a hundred times louder than the antis.”
“……Eh?”
“Until you don’t see any antis anymore. Support–it might be a little daunting. I’ll tell you how many times I love you, every day. Until the unpleasant voice no longer bothers you.”
The wine is so much more refined that a small amount of mud is obscured by the haze.
It may sound a bit like that, but the point is that it’s a powerful technique.
“W-why……? Why’d You go that far?”
“I’m happy if my favorite idol is alive. I am happy if my favorite idol is happy. On the other hand, I don’t want to see the face of the person I love sad. That’s all.”
I’m not looking for anything in return. I just want to tell her that I love her.
If Kusunoki is happy when I say [I love you] I will say it as many times as I can.
I will say it thousands, tens of thousands, even billions of times. If it makes her happy.
“Every time Kusunoki Nanami is hurt by a heartless word, I will say [I love you] a hundred times more. I’ll fill it up with love.”
“……Yukito kun.”
“No, well, if you think I’m a pain in the ass or something.”
“—-I don’t think so.”
My words are interrupted. She stares at you with cute eyes and holds my hand.
…Handshakes !? I don’t have a handshake ticket though !?
“I’m really happy to see Yukito kun’s support. You’ve been a big support to me.”
“Goddess….. Then I’ll support you so much. I’ll cheer on you so much that Kusunoki will be annoyed with me.”
“….Thanks, Yukito kun.”
“Anything for my idol. I’m a fan.”
Her hands are so soft. I wonder how long I’ll hold onto it. I think I should buy about 10 CDs.
“Then…please support me.”
“Yeah ! I love you ! Kusunoki !”
“Maybe you’re a bit too forward…”
Kusunoki’s face turns red. …..She’s so cute.
“Well, your heart’s voice is leaking again…”
“Actually, you’re cute and I love you, so I can’t help it.”
“U-ugh,……I’m happy, but a little embarrassed.”
Kusunoki blushes. However, I was relieved that there was nothing unpleasant on her face.
The day I started telling Kusunoki that I love her every day,……a little strange secret relationship began.
–
–
If you enjoy our content, feel free to donate, Thank you in advance !
Considering how reticent Japanese people and WN MCs in particular tend to be about putting their feelings into words, this just feels a little weird.