Source
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/16818093093152263860/episodes/16818622176203895499
Even the agency thought it was a shame to let Asahina Touka’s name go. Even I sometimes think it’s a shame to let the celebrity “Asahina Touka” go.
However, Toka herself is the least interested in the title “Asahina Toka .” I thought that must be very sad for her family.
“…You’re sneaky.”
Toka’s father clenched his fist and suddenly stared at me.
“What!?”
“You’re really sneaky. When you say that, I realize how much I’ve been running away.”
With that, Toka’s father exhaled softly.
“To be honest, I was so scared that I was trembling when I came here today. I didn’t know what to say or what to do. I thought I had no right to stand in front of my daughter. But…”
I waited for him to continue, but he didn’t say anything after “but.”
“…Does that have anything to do with you saying that Toka isn’t your child?”
When I said that, Toka’s father’s eyes widened for a moment.
“I don’t talk about things like this around Toka san…”
When her father said that, I glanced behind me and saw Toka looking at us with a worried expression from the entrance.
“Can you wait here for a moment? I’d like to talk in a more peaceful place.”
“Sure.”
I nodded at her father’s words.
◇
After saying a few words to Toka, I went with her father to an old coffee shop nearby. On the table were two cups of coffee we had just ordered. The quiet jazz music playing in the shop enveloped our silence.
“I understand that you are dating Toka, right?”
“Yes, we are in a serious relationship!”
I looked back at her father’s eyes seriously. Looking at his face directly, I could see that he was a man with very handsome features.
Toka’s father was silent for a while, as if weighing his words, but eventually he began to speak, as if talking to himself.
“I never thought that child would trust anyone again.”
His voice didn’t convey surprise or joy, but rather a deep sense of exhaustion.
“I was the one who stood by and watched that child break down. I tried to reach out to her many times. But every time I did, I felt like I was being reminded of my own powerlessness… It’s a pathetic story, isn’t it?”
“…”
I couldn’t say anything. I didn’t know whether to be angry or comfort him, or even what the right thing to do was. I didn’t even know what kind of expression I should have on my face while listening to his story.
“…May I ask you about the circumstances?”
“Reina… Toka’s mother used to be a model.”
Toka’s father continued speaking with his eyes looking into the distance. It seemed that he was willing to talk about it.
“She was really glamorous back then. She was used to being the center of attention and was well aware of her own beauty. But because of that, she was very sensitive to the gaze of those around her. There were days when she would get terribly depressed over the slightest criticism or slander.”
I listened silently.
“…Maybe that’s why her work in the entertainment industry gradually decreased, and she became more and more nervous. That’s when Toka was born. At first, she doted on her like an angel. But at some point, things changed…”
Her father looked down at his steaming cup of coffee. It was as if he was confessing his sins.
“She started to impose her dreams on Toka…”
“…”
Her father’s voice trembled slightly.
“I think Reina was able to keep herself going by believing that this child would fulfill the dreams she couldn’t achieve. But that meant she was no longer a good mother to Toka.”
“…”
“She demanded perfection from her young child, forcing her to smile, walk, and even speak in a certain way, just like in a script. If Toka showed even the slightest sign of rebellion, she would yell, “I’m doing all this for you!” Even so, Toka worked hard. She wanted nothing more than to be praised by her mother. I knew that, but I couldn’t stop it. It wasn’t that I was afraid of Reina. I also believed that Toka’s talent would surely lead to success.”
I was speechless. Thinking about how Toka must have felt at the time, my head was spinning.
“As long as Toka was successful, our family was fine. But…”
“Um… Why are you telling me this now?”
I already knew the rest of the story from Toka. Her father smiled softly at my question. He had an expression that seemed to indicate resignation.
“…Maybe she wanted someone to listen.”
Saying that, her father tilted his cup slightly. Ripples spread across the surface of the coffee.
“You’re facing the child I couldn’t face. You’re calmly entering the place I was too afraid to step into. That’s unfair, really.”
So that’s what he meant by unfair… I took the coffee in my hand and looked intently at the man in front of me.
“Um… you’re leaving out an important point.”
“Huh?”
“The fact that you’re not Toka’s real father…”
As I timidly spoke, Toka’s father froze for a moment, as if time had stopped. His hand holding the cup stopped in midair, and only his eyes stared intently at me. His gaze was so heavy that it was painful.
“The entertainment industry isn’t all glamour.”
“What do you mean?”
“I was one of the fans captivated by Reina. So, no matter what happens, I feel I have to be on her side. There was a time when she would do anything to get work.”
…I honestly don’t understand what her father is saying. But he looks very distressed. Seeing his face, for some reason, my chest starts to ache too.
“I couldn’t be a father. I couldn’t nurture the feelings of a father inside me. Every time Reina doted on Toka, I wondered why it had turned out this way.”
“…”
“I’m sorry. Seeing how hard you’re working for Toka, I couldn’t help but want to talk to you about this.”
With that, her father bowed his head and remained silent for a while. I couldn’t respond either, so I just kept quiet and joined him in his silence.
“Um… I’m sorry to ask you this again, but you don’t dislike Toka, do you?”
“Of course not.”
To be honest, no matter how much I listen to his stories from the past, I still don’t understand. I can’t comfort him, nor can I easily offer words of sympathy.
Thinking that…
—All I can do with this person is talk about the future.
“…Then, why don’t we start over?”
“Huh?”
“I know a girl who was told her upbringing was a ‘failure’ but she bounced back! It’s still not too late to start over now!”
“But how…”
Her father was at a loss for words, looking like he really didn’t know what to do.
How should I know that! But I do have an idea!
“If you’d like, why don’t you come to dinner at our house sometime? First, you should get to know the real Toka! She’s pretty easygoing!”
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