Source
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/16818093089220129356/episodes/16818093089404632026
Ayase often came to my house.
Of course, we had nothing to be guilty of, but simply spent time together as normal friends, watching anime, watching live performances of her favourite k-pop music, playing games and reading manga.
If we get too engrossed and it gets late, we have dinner together – that’s our usual style of having a good time as friends in our own way.
And today…
“Give me your head”
First thing on arrival, she demanded that I give her my head.
“Ah, um, …… Ayase, san?”
I raised my hand to Ayase, who was cross-legged on the bed in my room.
Usually she is an active and bright girl, but the way she looks down at me now sitting upright with a cold stare is kind of …… fresh.
Maybe it’s because she’s such a beautiful girl from every angle, that even her venomous appearance makes for a great picture.
“Can I take a photo ……?”
“How did you manage to get a picture in this situation?”
Because I don’t usually get to see it …….
“I’ll only allow one picture.”
But I still got permission. I’m very happy.
“I’m going to ask you again… How did Ikkun know it was from the fifth grade?”
After I had finished shooting (*waiting for me to finish), she said
Her eyes make me involuntarily straighten my back and turn my thoughts…
(…… Now, what should I do?)
First of all, the premise is that I don’t want to tell her.
The reasons are that Ayase overestimates me, that I may be mistaken, and that I’m reluctant to start talking about it now.
Therefore, one of the first options that can be taken is to deceive her by saying, ‘Actually, you told me yourself a long time ago’.
It seems that Ayase is reminded of her first love every time someone confesses it to her, and the number of times she has been told has exceeded several dozen times in total since they became friends.
Therefore, it is not surprising if she said it once somewhere. There is a possibility that it could be deceptive.
(But if I tried to go in that direction …… and she remembered it all, it would be a fire hazard, and there would be no way to get away with it.)
The second option is to speak honestly.
If I honestly admit fault and tell her honestly that I kept quiet, I don’t feel like I’m already out, but the wound may still be very shallow.
I need to be prepared to suffer quite a bit of damage, but this is the best option if I want to play it safe and proceed.
In other words, you can gamble to save your own skin, or you can take a wound and minimise it as much as possible…
“If you don’t tell me the truth, I’ll start to hate you.”
“Actually, I once saved a girl in the fifth grade!””
I don’t give a damn about self-preservation.
I’d rather get down on my knees and apologise than have her hate me.
“…… I see“
As I firmly put my head on the cold wooden flooring, she poked me in the shoulder with her foot.
When I looked up fearfully out of curiosity, Ayase pointed grimly under the bed where she was sitting.
…… probably means that I should sit in front of her.
I couldn’t afford to upset her further by rebelling at this point, so I obediently sat down so that I was between Ayase’s legs. Turn my back so I can’t see inside her skirt.
Then…
“Don’t move.”
A small hand was placed on my head.
Then she started playing with my head as if she was looking for something. …… Eventually, her fingers touched the wound that I got when I saved the girl.
“…… Hey, Ikkun. Why didn’t you say anything? You’ve known about this for a while, haven’t you?”
“I-I’d say there’s no end to the list,…… because Ayase overestimated me quite a bit,…….”
“Because?”
“Well, I thought she might be discouraged,…… and I didn’t want to go to the trouble of saying something patronising about the past,…….”
The rest could simply have been a man’s vanity.
Instead of boastfully saying, ‘I saved you!’ it might have been cooler or more embarrassing to keep quiet than to proudly say that
The reason it was extraordinarily difficult to say was because Ayase had publicly stated from the very beginning that she ‘love him!’
Besides…
“At that time, I just did what was natural even for me, …… and I didn’t want Ayase to decide that she “likes” me now because of that level.”
Even if you’re not full of a sense of justice, it’s natural to want to help a girl if she’s getting tangled up.
And yet, I didn’t want her feelings to be determined for the sake of that one-time favour.
After all, the past was the past. Maybe Ayase will find someone good in the future.
If I appear as her first love, there is a risk that she will stop her relationship with such a good person who may appear.
“So I couldn’t say it….. but I’m sorry. My bad.”
I can’t see her face, but I apologise honestly as she touches my head.
“Ikkun, sit over here.”
Then, Ayase put her hand on her side.
I’m the one who is at fault for not saying anything. Because of this guilt, I decided to obey her again this time in a mature manner.
Then…
“baka!”
─ ─ Ayase suddenly grabbed my shoulders and pushed me down to the bed as it was.
“Ha ……?”
The suddenness of the situation makes me unintentionally stunned.
Not only that. Her long, lustrous blonde hair hangs down, and the elegant face peeping out of it comes closer to her eyes, causing my heart to beat faster.
“Discouraged? There’s no way I would be …… why do you think I’m getting along with Ikkun?”
However, Ayase.
She spews out words without paying any attention to me.
“I mean, I was strangely convinced. Ikkun was that kind of boy… On the other hand, I don’t know why I didn’t notice it, but now that I think about it, I feel like I’m at fault for being so simple or so lazy.”
“U-umm …… Ayase, san?”
“Well, I was a little sad that you kept quiet, and to be honest, I’m a little angry, but… ah, mouu! What should I say? But let me just say this!”
It was then that I finally realised.
It should have been obvious, but I didn’t realise it because a beautiful, pretty face was approaching.
That Ayase’s face had turned …… terribly red.
And then──
“Ikkun, thank you …… for saving me at that time.”
The most popular person in the class caste.
Such a girl, with a smile that would make anyone look at her, said that to her male friend.
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