Source
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/16818622172789075625/episodes/16818792437026770914
“Can I tell you something important?”
I said that, interlacing my fingers slightly, and continued.
“You know, I think I’ve come this far mostly because of you, Reisa.”
“Eh?”
“Isn’t that right? Because you listened to me study, I developed a daily routine with structure, and I even became friends with Nagisa. You were the catalyst for everything.”
That day, I was feeling down.
Since entering high school, my grades had steadily declined, and by summer, they had fallen so far that there was no hope of recovering. I had lost sight of myself.
On top of that, my childhood friend, whom I had been with for years, had finally betrayed me, leaving my mental state on the brink of collapse.
It was a mix of sadness and anger…just pure emptiness.
It was Reisa who brightened my day.
At first, I tried to run away.
When she asked me to teach her, I feigned stomach pain to escape her terrifying communication skills.
But she chased after me.
To be honest, I remember feeling incredibly happy.
She was the only one who reached out to me, even though I had cut myself off from everyone else and my childhood friend had told me I was unnecessary.
“I’m really grateful. Thank you for always being there for me during tough times.”
“What are you talking about all of a sudden? We’ve only known each other for two months ! This isn’t like we’re dating—no, no, it’s nothing !”
She was mumbling something, but I couldn’t hear it clearly because I was blushing.
And more importantly, this is where the real talk begins.
“So…um, Reisa san…”
“Huh, yes !”
“Will you stay with me from now on? I think there will be many more difficult times ahead. If you ever find yourself in trouble, I want to be there to support you. That’s why I want you to stay by my side from now on.”
These past two months, she’s been there for me time and again.
From here on out, I want to be there for her even more.
That’s why.
“From now on, will you stay with me as a fri—”
“I’m sorry !”
“—Huh?”
“—–Eh?”
Wait, something’s off.
I thought I heard a response before I finished speaking.
And it didn’t sound like a pleasant response.
As I blinked in confusion, I noticed the color draining from Reisa’s face.
She glared at me with a stern expression.
“What did you just say?”
“No, I meant, let’s stay friends from now on.”
“Huh? You’re not talking about dating, are you? You don’t want to make me your girlfriend, do you?”
“No, that’s not it.”
“—-Huh?”
“Eh?”
After she said that, I finally started to understand the situation.
No wonder Reisa was acting weird.
Now that I think about it, my words from earlier could have sounded like a confession of love.
Or rather, that’s the only way it could have sounded.
Before I knew it, I was sweating profusely.
It was too late.
“I’m sorry ! I’m sorry for being so confusing !”
“It’s too late ! You’re not just awkward, you’re a complete social outcast !”
“I have no words to say.”
“What are you gonna do about this atmosphere?”
“I’m sorry for that too.”
Now that I think about it, maybe that’s why Nagisa left looking so awkward.
Maybe I made her think I was going to confess my feelings to Reisa.
The more I think about it, the more my face burns.
Besides, even I wouldn’t confess in a place like this.
And I certainly wouldn’t do something so insensitive in front of Nagisa, who at least has some feelings for me.
No, my lack of consideration has already created this atmosphere, so my words have no persuasive power.
Still, I can’t help but smile wryly.
I had always thought that Reisa had feelings for me, but it seems that was a misunderstanding after all.
Her immediate response was so determined that it was almost funny.
Her reply, which was misunderstood as a confession of love, was a little hurtful, but it was so clear-cut that it was refreshing.
“Don’t worry, I wouldn’t say something so presumptuous as ‘let’s go out.’”
“……”
It’s just a friendship.
I understand that.
That’s why I said that, but for some reason, Reisa frowned.
She sighed.
“…What do you mean by ‘presumptious’?”
“Eh, no. Eh?”
“It’s not that I rejected you because I don’t like you. I was really happy.”
Reisa’s words made my heart ache a little.
She said she was happy, but her expression looked painful.
So I said gently,
“You don’t have to worry about that. I can tell you’re angry just by looking at your expression.”
However, those words became another trigger.
Reisa opened her eyes wide and leaned forward.
“If I look angry, it’s because I’m so happy ! I’ll say it clearly now, but I…I’ve always liked Tsukushi !”
“Eh !?”
“That day, during physics class in the early days of school. From the moment you helped me when I was stuck on the answer, I’ve been drawn to Tsukushi’s kindness ! That’s why I was happy…but we can’t date.”
It was hard to believe, but once she said it, it made sense.
And I was surprised by what Reisa said next.
“If I date you, Tsukushi’s dreams will be pushed further away. I’m an obstacle to Tsukushi achieving his dreams. That’s why we can’t date. I like you, but that’s as far as it goes.”
My dream, of course, is to become a doctor.
To do that, I need to get into a good university, and first I need to win the entrance exam war.
In other words, I need to study.
What Reisa said was the same conclusion I had reached after thinking about it many times.
“You helped me again this time, so there’s no way I’d think you’re in the way. Did you really think that?”
“…! Well, it’s not like it’s all the time, but…”
“…”
I’m really hopeless.
I can’t think things through, and even when I do, I can’t understand them.
I had no idea she understood and supported me so much.
To be honest, I feel like crying right now.
I’m so happy that tears are welling up in my eyes.
If I could date Reisa, I’m sure I’d be happy.
In fact, I never said it out loud, but I was quite attracted to Reisa.
I’ve thought about wanting to date her many times.
But it’s true that when I think about my studies, the disadvantages of dating outweigh the advantages.
I don’t think it’s a hindrance, but I don’t like it either.
It’s frustrating, but Reisa was right.
Plus, my mother’s recent words keep flashing through my mind.
Considering all the sacrifices I’ve made so far, letting myself be swept away by a momentary romantic feeling and taking risks would be disrespectful to everyone.
To myself, who’s worked so hard, to my parents and Nagisa who’ve supported me, and to Reisa herself. Noticing my frustrated expression, Reisa suddenly flashes a soft smile.
“Should I just stay by your side and cheer you on until you achieve your dream?”
“Ah, no. You don’t have to take my words that seriously.”
“What are you talking about? Of course I’ll take them seriously.”
“But…I’m usually told that I don’t express myself well, so this time I wanted to convey my gratitude in my own way.”
“Then your choice of words was disastrous. That’s why you only get 80 points in Japanese.”
“…That’s a pretty harsh response.”
“Ah, sorry.”
“No, it’s fine. You’re right.”
Nagisa had warned me about this before.
When you try to improve one thing, another flaw appears.
It’s probably the fate of a hybrid of non-del and communication disorder, a studious guy with no social skills.
I’ll have to take a long time to fix it.
At that moment, Reisa gave a strange smile, her cheeks twitching.
“Speaking of which, I haven’t heard…”
“What?”
“Tsukushi, what do you think of me? You can answer honestly, I won’t hold it against you.”
“…”
Reisa was unusually proactive today.
With no way to escape, I could only smile wryly.
“I like you. …If we could date, I think I’d be happy.”
“Hm. But, well, it’s not possible right now.”
“Ugh.”
“So, please consider me your number one girlfriend candidate. Future famous doctor.”
And so, the most popular returning student in school became my first-ever girlfriend candidate.
◇
We left the family restaurant and headed home.
For some reason, Reisa was beside me, and when I looked at her, she gave me a cheerful smile.
She’s cute, but it’s creepy.
“That’s the opposite direction of your house. I’ll walk you home.”
“I was thinking of saying hello to your mother.”
“You’re in a hurry.”
“Stop making that disgusted face. It’s embarrassing when I go back to normal.”
It’s funny how Reisa covers her face and stays silent.
Well, it doesn’t matter. We’re still just friends for now.
Our relationship won’t change immediately, and there’s no need for it to.
She even referred to herself as the number one candidate for a girlfriend, which is pretty strange.
As we were talking, we arrived at my house.
It’s a run-down wooden apartment building, and I feel strangely nervous when a lady sees it.
We stopped in front of the apartment building.
Something strange caught my eye first.
Seeing her crouched by the side of the road, I cautiously called out to her.
“…Why are you here?”
“I was waiting, of course. Are you stupid?”
“…”
“J-just kidding. Don’t ignore me !”
The one waiting in front of my house was my childhood friend.
Her twin tails fluttering in the wind, she had her usual confident expression.
She immediately started cursing, so I tried to ignore her and walk past, but she grabbed my arm.
“Nanamura, can I borrow this guy for a bit?”
“No way.”
“……Please.”
I found it unusual.
I had never seen Kako ask someone for a favor like that before.
Reisa looked at me with a troubled expression, and I looked back at Kako.
Then, Kako looked straight at me.
She smiled weakly.
“I’m not going to say anything weird.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Nanamura. You just stay quiet. It’s none of your business, got it?”
“It is. I’m Tsukushi’s girlfriend candidate.”
“Huh? Eh… No, I mean, is that so? —Still, just for now, please.”
I was surprised by Reisa’s sudden outburst, but even more so by Kako’s behavior.
Somehow, she seemed unusually obedient today.
Normally, she would have thrown a tantrum and hurled insults, but she was calm and having a constructive conversation.
Since she was my childhood friend, I felt uncomfortable with her overly mature response.
Reisa finally gave in to Kako’s firm stance.
“Alright. Then…”
“Thanks, Nanamura.”
“…Wait, what the hell?”
After watching Reisa leave, I looked at my childhood friend beside me.
What the hell is she planning?
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