Source
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/16818622172789075625/episodes/16818792435640919952
“Do you remember what happened at the haunted house the other day?”
As soon as she said that, I remembered the feel of Nagisa’s slender fingers.
She was startled by the haunted house at the school festival and asked me to hold her hand.
I accepted and spent that time holding her hand.
“I remember…”
“How was it?”
“Huh?”
I was confused by the question.
What do you mean, “How was it?”
Well, I was surprised and a little embarrassed, but does that mean I have to say that?
I didn’t understand the intention behind the question and didn’t know how to answer.
“I was nervous.”
“……”
“It was my first time holding hands with a guy.”
That makes sense.
The Amakusa Nagisa I know is that kind of person.
Her purity and modesty attract boys, and she’s one of the most popular girls in school.
“So, I was wondering how Tsukushi kun felt about it.”
“I was surprised too. I never expected Nagisa to do something like that.”
“Did you dislike it?”
“Of course not. I was just shaken up.”
“So…were you happy?”
“Well, um…”
What’s wrong all of a sudden?
How should I answer that question?
If I’m honest about whether I was happy, the answer isn’t yes or no.
As I said earlier, I was just surprised.
Of course, I didn’t dislike it, but unfortunately, I wasn’t calm enough to enjoy the feel of Nagisa’s hand in that situation.
But is that what it means?
I’ve read my share of fiction.
Using all that knowledge, this question seemed to have more meaning to me.
It was exactly the kind of thing I had been thinking about alone just the other day.
Perhaps Nagisa is conscious of me after all.
But if that’s the case, there’s no trace of embarrassment on Nagisa’s face.
She’s just looking at me seriously with a straight face.
I don’t understand anymore.
“I didn’t think about being happy or anything like that. I feel so guilty for scaring you by taking you to the haunted house.”
“I see…”
When I stated the facts in a neutral way, Nagisa’s expression changed slightly.
It looked like she was shocked, and I felt uncomfortable.
After a brief silence, Nagisa snapped back to reality.
“Hmm, this has turned into an awkward atmosphere. Let’s study. Study !”
“Oh, okay.”
“I’ll teach you Japanese today. You mentioned that the modern Japanese section was pretty difficult, so I’ll step in and help…uh, well…”
“Haha, count on me.”
Nagisa’s flustered reaction was so funny that I burst out laughing.
Well, it’s okay.
Nagisa’s odd behavior isn’t something new.
She probably doesn’t want to hear this from me, but sometimes she has a slightly socially awkward sense of distance.
I think that’s part of her charm, the contrast with her usual self.
So, we put an end to the strange conversation and took out our Japanese language textbooks and problem sets.
“You know, when people who are good at Japanese say things like, ‘The answer is in the text, so it’s easy,’ I don’t get it. I just think it’s hard to find the answer.”
“Hmm, maybe you should mark the text with more types of checks or marks to make it easier to find. When I saw Tsukushi kun’s problem sheet before, I noticed there weren’t many marks, so I was curious.”
Nagisa said with a wry smile in response to my complaint.
Her response, though off the cuff, hit the nail on the head, and I couldn’t help but widen my eyes.
“That’s true. If you don’t mark it, you end up getting lost and wasting time. Also, I’m too focused on the text, so I’m bad at writing. I just copy directly from the text, and even then, it’s slightly wrong, so I end up losing points. Especially with this essay topic, the content is pretty hard to understand, right? The author’s arguments are so strong that it’s easy to get left behind.”
“Ah, in that case, it might be better to focus more on summarizing. What is this paragraph arguing, and how does it connect to the rest? Summarize the essence of it concisely. For example, the paper that’s part of this test range tends to feel self-centered, doesn’t it? But the author definitely has a structure in mind, and if you can’t grasp that, it’s hard to understand the whole thing.”
“Summarizing…I see ! That makes sense. Papers are supposed to connect to the overall argument. Maybe I was focusing too much on each paragraph. …You’re amazing, Nagisa !”
Nagisa’s guidance reaches every problem area.
From pointing out issues to suggesting improvements, it’s perfect.
And the fact that she says things that only someone who really understands me would notice is more than just helpful—it’s just plain awesome.
Come to think of it, Nagisa also graded my previous mock exam.
Usually, since Reisa is there too, I didn’t get specialized instruction just for me, but when it’s just the two of us, there’s more content directly related to each other, making for a more intensive study session.
I expected it, but this is really good.
It’s a different kind of benefit from a study session with three people.
“The content we just covered can be applied directly to English.”
“That’s right. Hehe, that’s why I’ve always been pretty good at reading comprehension in English.”
Spending too much time on summaries for interpretation isn’t good, but there’s a big difference in understanding the text between doing it and not doing it.
It’s all about how you allocate your resources.
Nagisa has already proven through her own experience that not finishing everything is an issue, and getting too fixated on anything is no good.
But it’s strange.
The only thing that comes to mind is that guy with the good looks and good grades.
English and Japanese are closely related subjects, so why isn’t Takagi good at Japanese?
He’s good at everything, but he seems to struggle with Japanese.
If he can get a perfect score in English, he should be able to do reasonably well in Japanese too.
Maybe he’s the type who focuses too much on his strengths, like I used to be.
I’ll use him as a cautionary example.
To begin with, he does things in a chaotic manner and doesn’t seem particularly intelligent.
I dismissed my rude thoughts and smiled at Nagisa.
“This kind of study style is good. From now on, let’s increase the frequency of teaching each other individually even when the three of us are together.”
“That’s a good idea.”
It’s a bit painful that one person is always left out because there are three of us, but I guess it’s okay.
During the times when I’m left out of the teaching, I can study on my own or just listen quietly to the two of them talking.
As I was thinking about that, Nagisa said quietly.
“Um.”
“What is it?”
“…Should we increase the time we study together?”
She said it with teary eyes, and I thought about it.
Actually, there have been a few times when Nagisa and I have studied together, and each time I feel like I’ve gained a lot of knowledge.
Not only does she have good grades, but she’s also skilled at teaching.
Increasing the time we study together would certainly have its benefits.
However.
“Well, we could do it at night after the study session. We could stop by a café to study, or at my house…”
“Studying at your house at night would be inconvenient for your family, so it’s okay.”
“Don’t worry about that. My parents come home late, and they don’t say anything anyway.”
“Either way, being alone with a girl at night is a bad idea.”
“Then, here.”
“Sorry, my wallet can’t handle that…”
“I’ll treat you.”
“No, no, you don’t have to go that far.”
Nagisa is being unusually pushy today.
Even I can tell something’s up.
It’s clear she’s trying to force a situation where we’re alone together.
I don’t know if this is related to romance or if she really just wants to study with me.
However, regardless of that, I get the feeling that Reisa doesn’t like Nagisa and I being alone together.
It feels like she’s being left out, and at least I don’t like that.
If we want to increase our study time, we should just study longer with all three of us.
Besides, even if this were a romantic approach from Nagisa, I don’t have the mental capacity to deal with it.
Right now, I’m already overwhelmed with studying.
Honestly, I don’t even see Nagisa in that way.
I don’t want to misjudge the distance between us and cause misunderstandings, nor do I want to unnecessarily hurt her feelings or avoid her out of excessive self-consciousness.
If we were to spend more time together and somehow end up in that kind of relationship, that would be a major problem.
So I gently turned her down.
“How about just occasionally? Like having a study session together when Reisa isn’t around.”
“Yeah, that’s a good idea. Hehe.”
Nagisa’s blushing face is dazzling.
She seems to be at least somewhat aware of me.
However, as she herself mentioned, Nagisa likely has no romantic experience.
I don’t know what she means by what she’s saying to me now, or even if she understands her own feelings.
So I don’t know what the right response is either.
Since she’s often said I’m ‘insensitive’, I need to be careful about how I act.
I felt a strange chill and made up my mind.
…Well, if this is just my overthinking, I might be overwhelmed by embarrassment.
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