Source
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/16818622172789075625/episodes/16818622177627108397
[Kako’s Perspective]
As I ran, my mind went blank.
I had always disliked my childhood friend.
The reason was that he became preoccupied with his studies and stopped hanging out with me, and even though he was cold toward me, he was always talking to other girls.
That’s the gist of it, but what I couldn’t forgive was that he stopped paying attention to me.
It’s so annoying, right?
While I was studying, he was having fun with other girls.
And he was the opposite of me—smart, ambitious.
It felt like he was doing it on purpose.
Just now it was the same.
Even though we were alone together, all he talked about was his female friends (lol).
In the end, he even started talking back to me.
Since he started hanging out with Nanamura and Amakusa, he’s definitely become harsher toward me, and he doesn’t talk to me properly like he used to.
It’s really annoying.
It’s all because he’s a womanizer.
He’s always obsessed with some other girl and never pays attention to me, even though we’ve been together all this time.
That’s what I hated about him.
And yet.
“Huh? What do you mean? You were being nice to Yamayoshi for my sake? Huh? Huh?”
In the empty hallway, I hold my head in my hands.
The only place with no one around during the cultural festival is the special building where the staff room is, so this was the only place I could escape to.
I stop on the second-floor hallway.
Tsukushi said it.
He was talking to Yamaypshi to help me with my studies.
Yamayoshi heard that and nodded with a genuinely annoyed expression.
I can’t believe that was a lie.
That means Tsukushi was actually thinking only about me and facing me honestly all along.
That’s the exact opposite of the Tsukushi I hated.
The Tsukushi who was distracted by other girls and didn’t even show interest in me didn’t exist. The real him was always thinking only about me, facing me desperately for my sake even if other girls hated him.
He was exactly the person I had been looking for all along.
If that’s the case, then what’s going on here?
If what they said earlier is true, then does that mean I was mistaken in hating Tsukushi?
I had always thought that Yamayoshi had feelings for Tsukushi.
Back when Tsukushi was in ninth grade, he often talked about Yamayoshi during our study sessions, and to be honest, it seemed to me that the two of them were very close.
I even imagined that they might be dating.
That’s why I was so shaken by what happened earlier.
I overreacted to the idea that they were still seeing each other.
After I confronted Yamayoshi, I didn’t see them together anymore, but for a moment, I panicked, thinking that maybe their avoiding each other was just a lie and they were secretly dating behind my back.
Ugh, this is so frustrating.
My head is spinning.
And I can’t stop feeling nauseous.
“Ugh…oh no.”
I couldn’t hold it in anymore and rushed to the women’s restroom.
In front of the mirror at the sink, I tried to calm my breathing while thinking.
If Tsukushi had truly cared about me the most when he was in ninth grade,
then what kind of resentment have I been harboring all this time?
I disliked him after he started aiming to become a doctor, but my teasing definitely escalated after I saw his relationship with that woman.
Huh…?
What’s that?
“Why…? Why didn’t he say anything? If he had just explained that he was hanging out with Yamayoshi to help me study, this misunderstanding wouldn’t have happened. He’s always so vague and doesn’t talk. That’s why I call him an idiot, useless, bookworm jerk.”
That’s right.
It’s all his fault.
Otherwise, I wouldn’t have misunderstood.
It’s because he doesn’t talk that my teasing escalated, so it’s all his fault.
Why do I have to…regret it?
“This is all my fault, isn’t it? …Ugh, what the hell.”
I’m just a monster who snapped on my own and took it out on my innocent, kind childhood friend.
Huh? What the hell.
My face feels slimy and disgusting.
I don’t want to look in the mirror right now.
If I did, I’d probably be so depressed I’d end up in bed for days.
“He didn’t seem interested in me, so I went out of my way to date other guys to show him. …What’s wrong with me? He was always looking at me.”
Come to think of it, he was the kind of person who only talked to me when we weren’t studying.
That lack of interest was one of his annoying points, but now that I understand everything, I’m disgusted with myself for making fun of him.
◇
After a while, someone came into the bathroom.
“It felt like we were playing hide-and-seek.”
“…What do you want?”
When I looked, it was Yamayoshi Fumino.
The faint smile on the corner of her mouth annoyed me.
But I didn’t feel like complaining.
“I came because I thought you might want to say something to me.”
“Huh? Do you want an apology? Are you asking me to apologize now for mistakenly suspecting your relationship with him?”
“No, that’s not it. I don’t care about that. I was wondering if you were angry that I didn’t tell you what Edano and I were talking about. If I had explained it to you, there wouldn’t have been any misunderstanding.”
“……”
Now that you mention it, that’s true.
If only I had explained when I asked Yamayoshi about his relationship with Tsukushi.
But this guy didn’t say anything.
“Why didn’t you tell me back then?”
“It was just a prank. I was annoyed that you were making assumptions, so I let it go, thinking it would just get messed up. Actually, I was secretly getting back at you. It’s too late to apologize now; we’re both to blame.”
She’s the kind of woman who says things so casually.
It’s so refreshing that it almost takes the edge off.
But after sorting through the whole story, I can’t help but agree that it’s no wonder she hates me.
So I decided to ask her again, just the two of us, in this private setting.
“I’m sorry to ask again, but did you like Tsukushi?”
“Not quite right. I liked him as a friend, but I’m not into nerds.”
“Huh. …So it was really just a misunderstanding on my part.”
“Yeah.”
After a short pause, Yamayoshi spoke again.
“Also, Kako chan, maybe you should talk to him properly? I don’t think he knows you like him. Or rather, he doesn’t seem to understand at all.”
“Huh? When did I say I liked him? Don’t say such gross things.”
“I mean, back in middle school, I thought the two of you were dating. Are you really okay with that attitude?”
“……Not at all. But it’s not like I like him or anything.”
I’ve said it many times, but I hate him since he became obsessed with studying.
If he could go back to the way he was before, I might like him, but even if what happened before was a misunderstanding, there’s no reason for me to like him now.
…Well, on the other hand, one of the big reasons I hated him is gone now.
Maybe Yamayoshi is right.
We were just misunderstanding each other.
The guy who doesn’t say anything and me who misunderstood him.
If we talk properly and correct our misunderstandings, maybe this kind of relationship can be resolved.
This situation on the brink of severing ties isn’t what I want either.
To begin with, I don’t even know what kind of face to make when I meet him anymore.
It’s okay, he’ll understand.
He’ll listen to me, and this time I’ll talk without teasing him.
I don’t want to end up fighting and parting ways like this.
Talking with Yamayoshi made me feel better.
Since he didn’t defend me in an awkward way, we were able to face each other.
I want to talk with Tsukushi again.
But when I came out of the bathroom, my world was already gone.
“So, that senior said he wanted to see me in a maid outfit instead of my butler uniform. Then we got excited about borrowing three sets of costumes.”
“That’s fine. It suits you, Reisa.”
“No way, I don’t wanna wear that outfit. It’s embarrassing.”
“Hey, Nagisa will get mad if she hears that.”
“Haha ! Well, her angry face is cute, so it’s okay, right?”
“True. She’s surprisingly short-tempered.”
“If Tsukushi says so~”
In the hallway, a blonde beauty and my childhood friend were chatting happily.
Seeing that, I hurriedly returned to the bathroom.
Seeing me fall silent, Yamayoshi awkwardly looked away.
“I’m sorry…this was unexpected.”
“Tsukushi said something a long time ago. ‘They say regret comes too late, and it’s true. It’s natural not to move forward because you regret the past, but it’s so profound. I’m impressed by the wisdom of our ancestors.’ Back then, I only half-listened, but now I understand. …It’s too late now. Seriously, he was right. …It was all my fault.”
What could I say now?
Now that I had completely been rejected, would my words even reach him?
It was too late.
To realize it, to regret it.
“Leave me alone.”
“……”
As Yamayoshi left the bathroom and I heard his voice talking with Tsukushi through the door, I cried.
Oh, this is the worst.
I’ve never seen Tsukushi look so happy before…
Being made to realize it in such an unexpected way feels like my heart is being torn apart.
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