Source
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“…I wonder if I really played the part of Shino Aizawa well.”
When I—Shino Aizawa—got home, I collapsed onto my bed without even taking off my makeup.
My body felt completely drained. My breathing felt shallower than usual.
I know all too well that acting like a tragic heroine at times like this—crying alone and wallowing in self-pity—won’t change a thing.
But today, of all days, I felt like crying my heart out and letting it all out.
Rintaro had a side to him I’d never seen before.
A side he’d never shown me.
I was forced to realize, whether I liked it or not, just how much Elis-chan meant to him…
“…Man, that’s rough.”
I said it myself and almost laughed.
Not that I could laugh at all, though.
This uneasy feeling won’t get any better unless I at least get some sleep.
Thinking that, I close my eyes, but then I can’t help but remember.
What happened today.
★ ☆ ★
Lunchtime.
We headed to the school cafeteria, surrounding Rintaro and Ellis-chan.
Surrounded by such a large group that we were practically spilling over the edge of the big table, Rintaro looked incredibly uncomfortable.
“Seriously, Oosaki. Why didn’t you say anything until now?”
“It’s not like I was keeping it a secret or anything.”
“No, you were. A beautiful childhood friend from Germany? I’m so jealous… 1”
At Iwami-kun’s words, everyone around us burst out laughing.
A split second later, I put on the same expression as everyone else.
“Rintaro’s no slouch either… With a face that looks like he’s terrible at keeping secrets, to be pulling off something this bold—”
“Shino, you…”
Rintaro furrowed his brow in a troubled manner.
It was his usual expression—the face of the Rintaro I knew.
But right after that,
Rintaro looked at Ellis-chan next to him.
“It’s not like I was trying to hide Elis, you know.”
He said it in a voice so quiet that no one around us could hear, but I didn’t miss it.
I also didn’t miss the way Elis-chan’s expression softened when she heard it.
“Tch… Drop dead, you happy-couple type.”
I tried to vent my overflowing resentment by wrapping it up in a joking tone and letting out a curse.
“It’s not like we’re actually dating or anything.”
“That’s awful! So I was just a fling to you!?”
“I told you, we’re not dating… and don’t say weird stuff like that!”
He didn’t seem to be lying.
So they really are just childhood friends—at least for now.
Given Rintaro’s personality, the reason he’d been hiding the fact that he and this Ellis-chan were childhood friends was probably because being seen with the beautiful Ellis-chan would make him stand out too… that’s probably it.
So why did he stop hiding it now?
Come to think of it, there’s a really cute freshman at my university who’s been getting a bit of buzz on social media, right?
Yeah, if that’s Ellis, then everything makes sense.
Probably because of that, Ellis got into some kind of trouble, and Rintaro took action like this to help her.
──That’s so Rintaro.
I’m disgusted with myself for letting my heart skip a beat like that.
After all, to me, Ellis-chan is definitely a romantic rival.
Plus, Rintaro probably sees her not just as a childhood friend, but also as a “member of the opposite sex.”
What shocked me most of all was that Rintaro—who’s usually so concerned about what others think—seemed to care more about what Ellis-chan thought than about the opinions of those around him. In other words, she must be someone special to him.
At least much more so than me—his ordinary female friend—
“Hey, Ellis, would you like to exchange contact info with me?”
“Eh… is that okay?”
“Of course it is. Since we’re here, I’d like to get to know you better, and besides… you know what Rintaro was like back in elementary school, right?”
So this is a warning.
From me, directed at you.
“…I do, but why?”
“That’s obvious, isn’t it? I’m going to hold Rintaro’s embarrassing secrets over him and blackmail him. Oh, in return, I’ll tell you Rintaro’s embarrassing secrets from middle and high school.”
To show you that you’re not his only childhood friend.
And to show you that I’m just like you, too.
“—Sounds interesting.”
It seemed the unspoken message got through, because she flashed a slightly crooked smile.
I get the feeling that’s her true nature, somehow.
Suddenly, I remembered the time I went for afternoon tea with Rintaro the other day.
I messed up back then and failed to show him how I felt.
I’d been thinking, “Next time for sure,” but—
“Don’t go buying and selling my personal information…”
Rintaro looked at Ellis with an expression that was part exasperation, part relief.
His face was full of tenderness—it didn’t feel like the kind of expression he’d usually reserve for a friend.
A lover, perhaps? Or family…?
I don’t know exactly what that would look like, but it was a side of Rintaro I’d never seen before.
(I’ve got to do something about this.)
If things keep going like this, we’ll just end up as friends.
★ ☆ ★
I woke up at 4:00 a.m.
Even though I’d struggled to fall asleep for about two hours, I felt refreshed, and my mind was crystal clear.
The thoughts that had been swirling in my head were neatly organized, and I had a clear idea of what I needed to do next.
Just a regular female friend, a confidante, a long-time acquaintance from middle school.
A reliable person I’ve known for a long time.
If I stay in that comfortable little box, he’ll never see me as a romantic prospect, no matter how much time passes.
I want Rintaro’s heart to race when he’s around me.
I want him to see me as a member of the opposite sex.
—No matter what it takes.
I feel bad for Ellis-chan, though.
But I want to be special to Rintaro, too.
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