Source
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/2912051600327232539
The first train of the day is a ghost ship carrying the all-nighters who’ve dropped out of society.
A merciless conveyor belt that forcibly repatriates the debts of yesterday—the past—back to the reality of today. There is not a shred of refreshing hope for the start of a new day; only inertia and fatigue glide along the tracks.
4:30 a.m. The first local train of the day, with the outside still shrouded in pitch black.
Sitting side by side on the hard plastic seats of the overheated car, I found myself pondering the topology of urban transit.
“…Hey, Minato. There really isn’t a single other passenger on board, is there?”
Next to me, Shizuku Hoshino—her hat pulled low over her face and wearing a mask—muttered quietly as she stared out the pitch-black window.
“Of course not. At this hour, any decent working adult is probably still fast asleep. We’re probably the only ones drifting aimlessly on this ghost ship, still not fully recovered from yesterday’s exhaustion.”
“Hehe, you’re right. It kind of feels like we’re the only two people left in the world.”
We had a few hours to kill until the office shuttle arrived at her apartment at 7:00 a.m. Compelled to indulge her sudden whim—“I just have to go to a world where no one else is awake”—we’d boarded this first train of the day from the nearest station.
Clack, clack. Inside the box swaying to a steady rhythm, we sat side by side. The warmth of her body, transmitted through her tracksuit, was the only tangible reality on this ghost ship.
“…Somehow, this feels really reassuring.”
Shizuku shifted her mask slightly and slowly rested her head on my shoulder.
“No one’s watching me, and no one’s telling me to smile. It’s okay to just be carried along. I wish it could stay night like this forever.”
Contrary to her murmur, the clock’s hands were ruthlessly ticking toward morning.
Even though the sky was still shrouded in deep darkness, our “nighttime” was coming to an end, and “morning” was about to sweep in relentlessly as an invisible weight.
Before long, the train had passed through several suburban stations, and we were nearing the final stop.
As the impersonal automated announcement declaring “Next stop: Terminal” echoed through the car, Shizuku’s head, resting on my shoulder, twitched ever so slightly.
The serene aura she had been radiating vanished in an instant.
When I looked up at her eyes over my shoulder, the look of relief that had been there just moments ago had completely vanished. Instead, I sensed a heavy, dark emotion—like muddy water—slowly beginning to spill out into the car.
“…Hey, Minato.”
“What is it?”
“If we reach the final stop like this, we’ll have to turn back and return to the bright world of the morning, won’t we?”
“That’s how we bought our tickets. Besides, you’ve got an important mission today—rehearsing for the concert.”
“……”
Shizuku’s fingertips clenched the sleeve of my hoodie so tightly that blood began to seep through.
“I don’t want to. I don’t want to go back.”
“…Shizuku-san.”
“Hey. Take me past the last stop, across the prefectural border, to a place where I’m no longer ‘Shizuku Hoshino.’”
It was a proposal to elope—one that would mean social death.
The fluorescent lights inside the car, reflected off the pitch-black window glass, cast a pale blue glow on her face. There wasn’t a trace of jest in her eyes.
“……If I pressed this emergency button right now and brought the train to a sudden stop… Minato, would you jump down onto the tracks with me and run away with me to a place where no one knows us?”
Staring at the red SOS button next to the door, she whispered in a terrifyingly quiet voice.
Her own career, her fans, her market value—she wanted to destroy it all in this very moment and plunge completely into my shadowy world. That was the insane desire for self-destruction I saw there.
I exhaled softly, gently placed my hand over hers as she clutched her hoodie, and decided to state only the cold, objective facts.
“…The fine for violating the Railway Operations Act, plus the damages claims for providing alternative transportation to tens of thousands of commuters, could run into the hundreds of millions. Even if I devoted my entire life to working shifts at a convenience store, there’s no way I could ever pay that off.”
“……”
“Besides, the ballast packed along the tracks wears down the soles of sneakers terribly. The terrain is way too rough to run away on. Physically and financially, this escape plan is a total disaster.”
Hearing my matter-of-fact reply, the grip on Shizuku’s hoodie loosened just a little.
The tension in the air dissipated, and she gave a small, deflated laugh before burying her face in my shoulder once more.
“…Seriously, Minato, you have absolutely no sense of romance. If you’d just lied and said you’d run away with me, I would’ve been satisfied and gone home like a good girl.”
“Lying is a waste of energy, thermodynamically speaking.”
Soon, the train slowly glided into the terminal station, which was still shrouded in the darkness of night.
There was a hissing sound as the doors opened.
We stood up and stepped out onto the deserted platform, bathed in cold, artificial light.
“Well, let’s head home.”
At my words, Shizuku gave a slight nod.
But I didn’t miss the faint embers of a dark obsession smoldering deep within her eyes—the thought that “someday, I might really destroy everything.”
The ghost ship had reached its final stop, but the heavy tracks of her dependence seemed to stretch on forever.
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