Source
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/16818093094088809262/episodes/16818093094865413218
The next day, Yua chan was back to her usual self.
In the morning, standing in the living room, she was quietly going about her chores, as if the feeble state she had been in yesterday was a lie.
It was the same Yua chan as usual.
But perhaps the tears she let out so hard yesterday have lingered in her mind, and when her eyes almost meet mine, she suddenly averts her gaze.
I could see the faintest hint of embarrassment hidden in her gesture.
When I think about it, my words yesterday-“I’ll be with you forever”-were strangely exaggerated, and I feel like I was drunk with myself.
My face becomes hot and I involuntarily rub my neck.
Compared to her purity, my words seem a little theatrical, and I chuckle inwardly.
As I’m putting on my shoes to head to work as usual with such thoughts in my mind, a small voice reaches my back, “W-wait.” she says.
I turn around to see Yua rushing from the kitchen with a lunch box.
The hem of her white apron was swaying and her hair was slightly disheveled.
“Ah, sorry. I forgot.”
“…Take care…”
She mumbles with a slightly upturned look in her eyes.
The cheeks are lightly stained and she squints her eyes shyly, so I naturally reach out and pat her head lightly. Her hair tangled in my fingers, leaving a soft sensation.
“Yeah, I’m off.”
I walk out the front door and down the stairs of my apartment.
The late spring air caresses my cheeks and the scent of fresh greenery tickles my nose.
A few seconds into my walk, my private cell phone trembled in my pocket.
It was a number that only Yua chan or Soichi would call.
I looked at the screen and saw the words [Azekura Soichi] floating on the screen.
“Hello?”
[Yo～! Are you free right now～?]
Soichi’s light voice jumps into my ear.
“I’m on my way to work. What do you want?”
[Ah~, I was just wondering if you’re free ! I don’t care if you’re busy !]
Almost laughing at the appropriate tone of voice, I suddenly remembered Akino san.
“Oh, well, do you remember Akino san?”
[Hmm? Of course I remember. But what’s up with you bringing up Akino san’s name? Now….what did you do?]
“Well…we ran into each other again. We were talking about the three of us hanging out together sometime.”
[Well….that’s fine, but…am I in your way?]
“In your way? Why?”
[Because Akino san liked you.]
“….Huh?”
[…..Eh?]
The sudden words make my head blank for a moment.
I asked again without thinking, and Soichi’s voice continued, sounding a bit panicked.
[…..Could it be that you didn’t notice? No…I mean…you were insensitive to that sort of thing. No, in fact, I think you didn’t notice at all.]
“No, no…nothing happened with her, though?”
[Well, it’s obvious that nothing happened since you haven’t noticed anything. Apparently Akino san’s friends were also talking about it, so I think it’s serious. Still, it’s been a few years, and knowing Akino san, it wouldn’t be strange for her to have one or two boyfriends…no, even one or two dozen. Anyway, I’m fine with that. I’m basically bored, and I’d like to meet a beautiful woman for the first time in a while…! Maybe I’ll have a chance too.]
Then the phone was hung up.
Soichi chuckles at the messy ending, and I put my cell phone back in my pocket.
Well…Soichi seems to agree.
But, I never thought that Akino san…..?
Soichi has always had a careless side to him, and this was back when he was a student.
I don’t think she thinks anything of me anymore.
Besides, I have no intention of falling in love now.
I have found someone I love, Yua chan, and that’s enough for me.
◇
The abortion was successfully completed and my debts were paid off. Peace has finally returned to my life.
It had been a really long time.
The days when my ex-boyfriend tied me up, raped me, and put me in debt.
Now that I have escaped from that hell and regained a quiet life, I feel that some part of my heart has become lighter.
But even though I’m enjoying the peace and quiet, the hole in my heart remains unfilled.
Yamasaka kun, whom I met for the first time in five years, is still cool, kind, and nothing has changed.
This makes me happy, but at the same time it brings up bitter feelings.
If only I had never met that man, if only I had never been soiled….I thought.
Having been raped and defiled in mind and body, I no longer have the right to be his match.
Such self-mockery goes through my head, and a sigh escapes my lips.
Thinking of this, I stand at the cash register of the convenience store as usual.
The white light from the fluorescent lamps illuminates the shelves, and the fresh greenery outside the store is swaying in the breeze.
I was adjusting the apron of my uniform and idly arranging the items when I heard the automatic door at the entrance open.
“Welcome…”
As soon as I started to speak, my whole body froze.
Standing there was Yamasaka kun.
….Eh? What? Eh? Did he come to see me?
My head was spinning and my heart was racing.
But reality soon rushes in.
My face is swollen from lack of sleep today, and I don’t want to be seen looking so shabby !
I look around, but I’m the only one on shift. There is no escape.
He holds a drink in his hand and walks straight up to the cash register.
What am I going to do, I have to make sure he doesn’t find out.
I lower my gaze, keep my eyes down, and keep my voice low.
“….Welcome…”
[Illustration.]
Praying that he wouldn’t find out, I quickly proceed with the checkout.
I put the plastic bottle in the bag and try my best to keep my hands from shaking.
Then, his small voice reached my ears.
“Hm……Akino san?”
It was the moment my life came to an end.
There is no God.
Even if I pretended not to know him, my name was written firmly on the nameplate on my chest.
There was no way to hide it.
“..G-good morning…Yamasaka-kun//”
My voice trails off and my face heats up.
He smiles lightly and begins to speak calmly.
“I worked around here. Oh, by the way, Soichi contacted me by chance and I told him we should get together soon, so I’ll let you know when the date is decided.”
“Ah…yeah… // I…anytime… //”
“Yeah, I’ll see you next time.”
He takes the bag in his hand and walks out of the store. As I watch his back, my head spins.
Wow, he must have thought I was a nasty woman.
I served him without even looking at his face…I’m so stupid to treat him like this even though he did me a favor !
I took advantage of his kindness and showed him such a pathetic figure.
Haa…but he’s still cool.
◇
In between work, I grab a cup of tea I bought at a convenience store.
The trees on the street blocked the sunlight and cast a speckled shadow on the sidewalk.
I can’t get Soichi’s words out of my head and think about Akino san.
I never really realized how much she liked me.
In high school, she always had a smile on her face and people were always around her.
I was just a classmate, and I was only there occasionally when several boys and girls played together, and the only special memory I have of her is that I borrowed 500 yen from the purchase counter.
I didn’t think she and I were a match in the first place, and I never imagined she had such feelings for me.
I remember how she looked this morning.
Her eyes were downcast at the cash register and her voice was quiet and trembling.
I thought she was embarrassed, but maybe she didn’t want me to notice.
Well, I was relieved to hear that her life had settled down, but there was a shadow of tiredness somewhere in the air.
I would ask her about the details when we got together again.
I decided so and proceeded to work.
◇
Mister left for work and the house became quiet. I sat on the sofa and put a blanket on my lap.
The TV is playing softly and the wind is blowing outside the window, shaking the trees.
Yesterday, I cried because of a cold.
It was the first time I felt like that with Mister by my side, being so kind to me.
A long time ago, when I had a fever, no one came to help me, and I shivered alone in a dark room.
No one helped me then.
But Mister was different.
I was too embarrassed to make eye contact with him in the morning.
But when he patted me on the head, warmth spread through my chest.
When I handed him his lunch, he smiled a little.
I love that smile.
I poured a glass of water from the tap and drank it slowly.
Mister tells me to “drink” juice or tea, but when I’m alone, this is fine.
I don’t want him to spend money.
I don’t want to bother him.
◇Akino’s point of view
My shift is over and I go out the back door of the convenience store. The night breeze cools my cheeks and the scent of fresh greenery wafts through the air.
I can’t get the memory of seeing Yamasaka kun out of my head.
He saved me with the same kindness as before.
Without that 1.5 million, I would still be in hell.
But every time I see him, I hate my dirty self.
I’m not qualified to approach him like this.
I go home and look in the mirror.
Swollen eyes, tired face.
I met him looking like this.
All I can do is feel regret.
But when he says, “Next time,” a small light goes on in my heart.
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