Source
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/16817330657219422179/episodes/16817330659647711145#end
–Arianrod. A the name of the being who gave blessings to the heroes in order to bring an end to the former disaster of the Demon Gods.
A goddess who has watched over this world since time immemorial, reigning to maintain peace and tranquility.
Why did such a being come to me?
Many questions come to mind, but they fade away like bubbles. It seems that my worn out mind is no longer greatly moved by being approached by a supernatural being.
In my head, Arianrod continues.
[– Anri. The hand of the demonic god has already almost reached this world. I have given blessings to several promising people before, but you are especially suitable among them. Help me. –Help me to protect the world.]
I do not say anything back to Arianrod’s words. Normally, I would have had some feelings about this forceful attitude, but I no longer have the energy to do so.
However, perhaps taking the silence as an affirmation, Arianrod raised his voice a little and said
[Now, go forward as I lead you, to the light of the moon, so that your power can reach me easily]
Immediately, I felt as if some weak force was applied to me. Not enough to force me to control my body, but enough to move me now.
I move my body as if I were being swept away, not against the force.
I slip out of bed, take one look at Ur and Rietta sleeping next to me, and quietly leave the room. I continue down the corridor and stairs and go out through the door of the inn.
The street was already devoid of any lights put out by people, and the moon and stars were twinkling in the midnight sky. And as the platinum light fell on my body, the power that had been filling my body since a few moments ago became progressively stronger.
No longer could it be called a weak power, but it made me feel the presence of a sure God.
[–Now, Anri. Give yourself over to me. You are now in no condition to endure as a warrior. At this rate, you will destroy yourself without waiting for the resurrection of the Demon. Now, do not defy my power–]
Arianrod’s words gradually became smaller and smaller. As if there was an obstacle in between, his mystical voice became blurred.
— Is this my senses fading ……?
But even after realizing this, I still cannot bring myself to resist Arianrod. Having lost such a large presence as Tale, I was no longer able to hold on to even my own body.
The sensation gradually faded away, but in spite of this, my feet firmly planted themselves on the ground. I clenched and unclenched my fists forcefully, as if I were testing my new body.
And I – the self-consciousness of Anri – floated away from my body, and even the voice that escaped from my own mouth seemed like a distant dream.
[I see…. The shock of losing your precious Tale was too much. The reason why you usually acted so aloof is because you were afraid of being rejected. It seems that your childhood experiences created an excessively low self-esteem. …… But there is no need to tamper with that much now, is there? I’ll just rewrite the most recent memories so that it doesn’t interfere with my apostle.]
–And so the majority of my consciousness – the memories of Tale’s loss – begin to crumble away like a castle made of sand.
Even though these memories are filled with unbearable grief, they are about Tale, the person I hold most dear to my heart. I feel an indescribable sense of loss, but immediately afterward, a sense of happiness is instilled in me that overwhelms it.
–I was so happy. It is the memory of my time as Tale’s lover.
–I have been saved so much by Tale that I thought it was unthinkable for me to ask for anything more.
I was afraid that if I showed this shallow feeling, he would be disappointed and disregard me.
I knew that Tale would not hate me for such a thing, but the memory of the gray days we once spent together still put the brakes on my actions. If Tale abandoned me, I would have to return to that hellish life, and the thought naturally made my body tremble.
But then it happened. Something unimaginable and unbelievable happened.
–To my surprise, Tale told me about his feelings for me. He told me that he had been keeping his feelings for me in his heart for a long time, and that he was in love with me.
I was surprised and delighted to hear it. And I accepted it without hesitation. I knew about Ur and Rietta’s feelings, but more than that, I could not resist the unbearable temptation of acquiring Tale’s heart.
Until now, I had thought that this feeling was a one-way street for me alone. Tale is kind, cool, and smart, but I am the opposite. I have no charm, no feminine ladylike grace. The only thing I have is my extraordinary strength.
I can’t believe that Tale had feelings for me–
What we had between us was an incredibly convenient and happy conversation. We spun words of love to each other, touched each other’s bodies, and gently kissed each other on the mouth.
I thought to myself, This is definitely the height of happiness.
Even though we were now lovers, our relationship did not deteriorate, and we continued our adventuring activities in an even friendlier manner than before.
Both Ur and Rietta congratulated us. Tale recently returned from a long-term solo mission, and the four of us will be able to enjoy our fulfilling adventuring activities together again —-.
–That’s a dreamy memory.
“It’s not possible”
I heard Tale’s words at the edge of my consciousness, which was sinking under the power of the demon Andras.
He said, “Three months ago, I was on a cliff”
At that moment, the memory flashed back.
—Yeah. I knew it had never been such a convenient dream.
The reason Tale had been gone for three months was because he had been fighting alone at the bottom of the cliff, and I was not his lover.
The sweet days with Tale were all a trick. They are false memories planted by some crooked goddess.
And yet.
I put strength into my body. Under the influence of Andras, I can’t move my limbs properly. When I try to stand up, my legs tremble and break from the knees.
Still, I do not give up.
–That time… I couldn’t stop Tale from falling.
I missed the one who had saved me more than anyone else, right in front of my eyes.
Remember the despair of that time. Remember the disappointment.
I can’t bear that kind of feeling anymore. I don’t want to experience this pain that tears my heart out, not for another minute, not for another second.
So, no more.
–I will never lose someone I love again!
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