Source
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/16817330665217759411/episodes/16817330666732525524
Counseling 15(3)
……I thought I knew most of the problems that people in the counseling department were having.
I had learned from them about Nishida-san’s situation where her senpai had done terrible things to her, and Higashino-san’s heartache of giving up on her future dream.
However, I had yet to hear Kitagawa-san’s story properly. There was no doubt that there was something troubling her, but I had not been able to ask her what it was.
“…… I think it’s okay to ask her directly.”
Higashino-san, sitting next to me, gave me this advice.
It is now 14:30 in the afternoon. It was supposed to be math time, but the teacher was absent today, so it was a self-study session.
However, my classmates were chatting and it was almost like recess. So I took advantage of that time to ask Higashino-san for advice.
“Kitagawa-san tried to talk to you at least once, didn’t she? Then, ‘Do you want to talk about it?’ I think it’s okay to ask in a casual way like that.”
“Hmmm, yes. It is certainly the best thing to do. …… You know, I don’t want to be too much like, ‘How’s it going? I’ll listen to your problems’. I think that if I say too much, Kitagawa-san might be depressed.”
“Ah, that may be true. Kitagawa-san is a bit sensitive, isn’t she?”
“Well I’ll listen to her, including that. ‘If you have a problem, I’ll listen to it, and if you think you’re worried about something, can I call you out?’ Something like that”
“Yes, that might be a good idea.”
Higashino-san nodded yes while resting her right hand on her cheekbone.
“Then again, why am I being disliked by Kitagawa-san?”
“Y-yeah…I wonder ……. I’ll have a listen to that too.”
“Well, it’s much better if she clearly says she doesn’t like me than if she talks about me behind my back.”
“Is that so?”
“Yeah. We’re in the same club, so I’ll do my best to get along with her little by little.”
She laughed briskly as she said this.
I was just amazed at Higashino-san’s mature response.
—-At that moment, the entrance to the classroom suddenly rattled open!
The eyes of the entire class were drawn to that entrance.
“U-Um,….. The head of the counseling department is in this class?”
Standing at the entrance was an unknown male student. He must have been running as fast as he could. He was out of breath and had a lot of sweat on his forehead.
“I’m the head of the department. …… what’s going on?”
He said to me impatiently as he got up from his seat with his hands raised.
“I-I need you to come over here right away, okay?!”
“W-Where are you going?”
“I’m in the fourth grade! Now! Um..! Kitagawa’s in trouble!”
“Eh!?”
“I don’t know what’s going on! She suddenly lost her temper!”
“K-Kitagawa is that Kitagawa Mari-san?”
“Yes! She threw a chair at Busujima-sensei during class!”
“Threw a chair at her?!”
“A-Anyway! Can you please come over here for real?”
“Okay, okay!”
I went with him to the fourth class of the first year.
“Wait, Nakahara-kun! I’m coming with you!”
Higashino-san was following behind me.
(Kitagawa-san ……! What in the world is wrong with you!)
I was shouting that in my mind to her in my brain.
“……………………”
The fourth class of the first year, where I was brought by a junior, was in a terrible state of disrepair.
Several desks and chairs had been knocked over, and there were textbooks, notebooks, pencils, erasers, highlighters, and just about everything else scattered everywhere.
The students were all in the corners of the classroom, shivering, stunned, and some of the girls were crying.
……..In the middle of the chaotic classroom, Kitagawa-san was standing in the middle of the classroom.
The red eyes were filled to overflowing with tears. She was still trembling, her nose was breathing heavily, and her clenched fists were shaking slightly.
“……Kitagawa-san.”
I entered the classroom and timidly called out to her.
When she noticed that I had arrived, she turned her attention to me for a moment. But then, wondering what she thought, she turned her head away again and stared at the scattered floor.
“…… Kitagawa-san, what’s wrong?”
“……………………”
“What happened? If you like, could you …… talk to me?”
“…………………….”
Kitagawa-san remained depressed and said in a small voice
“I don’t want to do it because you’ll get …… mad at me.”
“…………………….”
Her voice was quite gravelly. I had a sneaking suspicion that the graze was the kind of graze that comes after a lot of shouting.
I turned my back to her and asked the boy who had called me.
“Why did you call me here?”
“No, well, Kitagawa doesn’t get along with anyone in class, but I’ve seen her get along with the people in the counseling club. ……”
“So, …… you called me, the head of the department.”
“Y-Yes.”
“……………………”
I turned to her again and spoke slowly.
“…… Kitagawa-san, let’s change places. You don’t feel comfortable here, do you?”
“……………………”
“Are you hurt? If you’re hurt, how about the health office?”
She was silent and shook her head.
“Then where would you like to go? Let’s go someplace where you’ll be comfortable.”
“…………………….”
“…… Oh, yeah. How about the club room? Counseling Club Room.”
“……………………”
She nodded quietly, sniffing her nose and breathing loudly enough to move her shoulders.
“Okay, let’s go to the club room then. Sorry Higashino-san, I’m going to take Kitagawa-san to the clubroom now and ask her what’s going on. So I may not be able to go to class for a while. I would appreciate it if you could inform the teachers about that.”
“Okay, I understand.”
“And if you need anything else, please call me before you go to the club room.”
“Okay.”
“Thank you.”
I left everything to her and walked to the club room with Kitagawa-san, who looked down.
“……, Kitagawa-san. I bought your favorite oshiruko.”
I put a can of oshiruko that I bought from the vending machine on the desk.
Kitagawa-san picked it up and slowly opened the lid. But without even taking a sip, she just opened it and froze as it was.
“…… Kitagawa-san, when I asked you earlier about the situation, you said, ‘I don’t want to talk about it because you’ll get mad’ didn’t you?”
“……………………”
“It’s true that when you do something that isn’t good for you, it can be difficult to talk about it with others. But isn’t it also painful not to talk about your feelings?”
“……………………”
“I’m not blaming you for being violent. But what happened? I’m just worried.”
“……………………”
“The person who called me said you threw a chair at Busujima-sensei, didn’t you? Did that teacher say something bad to you again?”
“……………………”
“…… if it’s too hard for you to talk to me, I’ll call someone else, what do you say?”
“……………………”
Kitagawa-san just stared at the oshiruko (sweet red-bean soup) in her hand and did not respond to me.
I was wondering what to do when I received a call on my phone.
“Sorry Kitagawa-san, I’ll be out in a minute.”
I said no to her and left the club room to take the call.
“Yes, hello.”
“Hello, Nakahara-kun. It’s Higashino, is everything alright now?”
“Is something wrong?”
“Well, the other teachers, they want me to meet Kitagawa-san.”
“No, I’d like you to stop that if you can. It is not a good idea to provoke Kitagawa-san in a strange way right now. I think it would be better for Kitagawa-san to be around only those with whom she can talk calmly.”
“That’s right. ……. I said so too, but it was hard to convince. ……”
“Okay. Are you there, sensei? Can I ask him to take over the phone?”
“Yeah, hold on a second.”
“……………………”
“…. Hello, is your name Nakahara-kun?”
“…… You are, I believe, Ishibashi san. You are the homeroom teacher of the fourth class of the first year.”
“Yeah, I am.”
“Kitagawa-san is in a mentally unstable state right now. We believe that only someone with whom she can talk about her feelings in peace should be by her side.”
“Nakahara-kun, you are in class now. You too should go back to your class and attend the lesson. I will take over for Kitagawa-san.”
“Then sensei, are you saying that it is okay for Kitagawa-san to go berserk again? You say it’s okay to push her mind into a corner.”
“I didn’t say so. I’m just saying that there is no need for you students to solve this problem. Leave this to the adults.”
“It is Kitagawa-san who decides that. I can’t pass it on to the teacher without confirming who Kitagawa-san wants to rely on.”
“I don’t think it’s a good idea to act selfishly in class.”
“Why don’t you talk to Busujima sensei about it first? She is reprimanding students more than necessary even though they are in the middle of class, and she is ruining important class time. Isn’t this ‘selfish behavior’?”
“……Nakahara-kun, I understand that you want to care about your junior students, but there is a limit to what you can do. Go back to your class.”
“I can study as much as I want later. It is something that can be undone. But if you disrespect Kitagawa-san’s feelings here and now, something irreversible may happen. It’s obvious which is more rational, isn’t it?”
“……………………”
“Sensei, give me some time. Right now she will listen to my words for now. So while I’m at it, I’ll ask Kitagawa-san who she can talk to about her feelings. If it is Ishibashi sensei, I will pass it on to him. If it is someone else, I will pass it on to that person, and if it is me, I will continue to listen to her. That would be the quickest way to contain the situation, wouldn’t it?”
“……………………”
“The most important thing for the teacher is how to end this situation as quickly as possible. ……, right? If there is a way to end this quickly, then we should help with this one, regardless of whether it is a student or a teacher, right? There should be no rational reason for the teacher to refuse this one.”
“…. Okay, if you insist that much, I’ll leave it to you.”
“!”
“When you figure out who Kitagawa-san can talk calmly to, let me know as well.”
“… Got it. As for Ishibashi-sensei, please hear more about the situation from Busujima-sensei. Let’s combine their testimonies and compare the facts.”
“I understand. Then, I’ll let Higashino-san take over again.”
“……………………”
“Oh, hello? I’m sorry, Nakahara-kun, for trying to persuade sensei.”
“No, it’s okay. For now, I’ll stay with Kitagawa-san for a while. If anything happens, please call me again.”
“Yeah, thanks.”
Then her call went dead.
I put the phone in my pocket and went back to the club room.
“Sorry I’m late, Kitagawa-san.”
“……………………”
“I’m very sorry to rush your feelings, but perhaps you can tell …… me why you were so angry with Busujima-sensei today?”
“……………………”
She was still as still and silent as a clam.
There were tear marks on her cheeks, and her eyes were somewhat swollen.
I decided that it wasn’t a good idea to rush things any further, so I didn’t say anything after that.
A few minutes passed in silence without any sound.
I still don’t know what she was thinking. But at least it is something that she is aware that she did something wrong.
Otherwise, she wouldn’t have said, “I don’t want to talk about it because you’ll get angry.”
“……………………”
Roughly twenty minutes after waiting for …… her words. Kitagawa-san blurted out the name of a certain person.
“…………Nishida.”
“Eh?”
“I want you to call Nishida.”
“Nishida-san?”
“……………………”
“…… you can talk to her, right?”
Kitagawa-san nodded quietly.
It was during the break time between classes that …… Nakahara-kun came to ask about my class.
“Excuse me, is Nishida-san there?”
With that he opened the classroom door and peeked inside.
I immediately got up from my seat and rushed to his side. I told him.
“Sorry, Could you please come to the counseling club room as soon as possible?”
“Eh? The counseling department?”
“Kitagawa-san is in a bit of trouble right now.”
When Nakahara-kun told me what had happened, I was so surprised that I raised my voice and said, “Eh!?” I was so surprised that I raised my voice.
“Kitagawa-san went berserk in the …… classroom?”
“Kitagawa-san won’t tell me why she threw a tantrum. She only wants to talk to Nishida-san.”
“…… me.”
“Nishida-san, I’m sorry this is before the class starts, but if you don’t mind, could you stay with her?”
“……………………”
“I don’t know what has turned her against me. But I can’t just leave Kitagawa-san like this.”
“……………………”
…… Is it okay to miss class? And although such thoughts crossed my mind, I had agreed to Nakahara-kun’s question by saying “yes.”
If Kitagawa-san said she could only talk to me, I had no choice but to listen. That’s what I thought.
“…… Um, Kitagawa-san. It’s me, Nishida.”
I came to the door of the counseling department and called out to her through the door.
But there was no answer from inside.
“……umm, let’s go inside for now, okay?”
I opened the door and entered the club room, and my eyes met Kitagawa-san’s. She looked at me with a strange, wistful look in her eyes.
Her eyes had a strange sadness in them. She looked very lonely and also very sad.
“…… Kitagawa-san.”
“……………………”
I decided to sit next to her and talk to her a little bit.
“Nakahara-kun told me about the situation.”
“……………………”
“If it’s okay with me, I’ll listen to what Kitagawa-san has to say…….What’s going on?”
“……………………”
Kitagawa-san fidgeted and looked embarrassed, and said in a voice so small that I really …… had to strain my ears.
“Because she made fun of …… Nakahara.”
“…… Eh?”
I asked back, and Kitagawa-san turned her eyes toward me.
“…… Busujima made fun of Nakahara. That’s why I couldn’t forgive her.”
“……………………”
I can’t tell Nakahara this. He would be angry,……, and I would be embarrassed.”
“……………………”
I froze at the unexpected response.
“…… Hey, Nishida.”
“W-What?”
“Have you ever been in love, Nishida?”
“Love ……?”
“I, Nakahara, is the only boy I can stand to be around.”
“……………………”
“Today, when she made fun of Nakahara, I felt really bad. I felt much, much worse than if she had been made fun of myself.”
“……………………”
“Hey, Nishida. What should I do? I don’t know myself well. I don’t know if I am in love or not.”
“Kitagawa-san ……”
“Nishida, I… …… I… ……”
─ ─ Have I gone crazy? And so Kitagawa-san muttered, shedding small tears.
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