Source
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/16818093080782259424/episodes/16818093084836384485
★Kamiya Suguru (SIDE)
“Damn it! Let go of me, you guys! Why are you taking their side! If there were guys everywhere flirting like that, you guys would be annoying too!!!”
I said that and my classmates started talking.
“Ha? Are you crazy? I don’t think it’s normal for a guy to lie about his relationships with men and women, it’s up to the four of them to decide if they want to make out or not.”
“I agree. I think the four of them look great together. They’re so beautiful together that it’s a real feast for the eyes.”
“Hahaha, on the other hand, Kamiya is always saying the worst things, and his behavior is disgusting.”
“That’s true. That alone is bad enough, but you do too many things, don’t you?”
“Haaa, We believed your words at first, but now you have zero credibility, you know? Why don’t you just give up now and grow up?”
Why the hell is that? ……
Why is everyone looking at me like that all the time? ……
I suddenly looked at Sato and Sakaguchi.
“Sato…..Sakaguchi…….”
I called out their names and they both stared at me with a look of disgust that I had never seen before.
“Haa, you’re not my friend anymore, so please don’t call me that. What you’ve done is beyond disgusting, okay?”
“I don’t even want to talk to you, …… and recently I’ve been getting cold stares from people just because I was friends with you, okay?”
“No, but that’s because Sano ……”
“Enough with the ‘Sano, Sano’ talk, okay? Sano didn’t do anything, did he?”
“It’s true, looking at the three of them, it’s obvious that they’re in love with Sano, and that’s obviously not something you’re saying is forced or anything. All of the classmates think so, don’t they?”
“T-that can’t be right. ……”
When I said that, the usually bossy girls opened their mouths as if they were stunned.
“You just stop it, okay? I heard from all three of them! You simply lost to Sano.”
“Eh……”
“Listen to me! You are inferior to Sano as a person and as a man! The three of them didn’t say that much, but all the girls I talked to think so, you know? They all despise you.”
When she said that, I turned my attention to the girls in my class.
And I instantly understood that what she said was true.
The girls’ eyes went beyond dislike to look at me like I was looking at trash.
I don’t know why I didn’t notice it before. ……
As I was thinking this, the girls continued talking.
“Besides, the three of them said they don’t want anything to do with you for the rest of their lives.”
Lies……
We’ve known each other since we were kids. …… It’s that easy. ……
“I’m telling you, it’s not just this class that’s spreading the word about you to the other classes, so you definitely don’t have anyone on your side at this school, okay?”
No …… allies ……?
Why……
“Haa, you don’t seem to understand even after I’ve told you this much,…… then I’ll tell you clearly already, okay? Everybody is telling you to get out of the way of Sano and those three, okay? Give it up and go on with your life on your own!”
When the girl said that, her classmates began to say, “Yes, that’s right!”
At that moment, I lost all my energy and found myself in tears.
Was I wrong? ……
Haruka, Ai, Sara were no longer by my side ……
I understood that I was truly alone at this moment.
All I could do was cry right there and then.
Memories of the three of us were going through my head.
Where did it go wrong……
When did I go crazy……
Is there no one I can rely on anymore……
After losing so much that was important to me, I kept crying and then walking home, wobbly.
–I thought about taking the next day off, but I managed to get to school.
I thought it was a mistake and tried to talk to them, but they wouldn’t listen to me.
They just looked at me like I was trash.
It was the same when I tried to talk to girls, boys, people I was friends with in other classes, and everyone else.
Haruka, Ai, and Sara don’t even look at me at all.
On the contrary, they were saying bad things about me in various places, such as that I was trash and a jerk.
I was getting more and more afraid of the people around me.
As usual, Sano and the three of them are flirting …… and today they even kissed in front of everyone ……
Everyone is cackling about it and getting excited.
I feel like throwing up……I want to go home……
After a few days of living like that, I couldn’t leave the house, let alone school, from the next Monday.
“Why, why is everyone talking bad about me……?”
I feel like everyone is talking bad about me, not just the students at school, but the parents and kids in the neighborhood, people I pass, everyone.
“I’m scared, scared …… to go outside, scared …… why is this happening to me …….”
I said this, shivering as I covered myself with the futon.
I’m afraid of everything and everyone except myself.
I can’t trust even my parents.
Even if they’re worried about me on the surface, they’re probably saying bad things about me in their hearts anyway.
“Damn, damn, damn!”
How did this happen? ……
“I,…… I’m just ……, I’m happy with the three of us,……. I just wanted to be happy with the three of them,…… but that’s all I wanted,……! ……”
I don’t belong at school or at home……
What should I do? ……
I suddenly saw an album of memories with the three of them.
Photos of me going to the pool with Haruka, having a barbecue as a family, and laughing together.
I saw a picture of me and Ai reading books and learning together and looking happy.
I was cheering Sara up when she was crying, and we were walking together holding hands with smiles on our faces.
The more I look at them, the more I see the expressions on my face and on the faces of the three of them, as if they are having fun.
“Ha-haha”
I couldn’t help but let out a dry laugh.
I thought about it, the three of them haven’t smiled at me …… for a long time.
They had stopped smiling at me as soon as I entered high school.
I just realized that.
All the smiles that were directed at me were directed at Sano. ……
Was I not one of the three of them for a long time? ……
All I was doing was trying to get connected with the three of them, and it was having the opposite effect on me. ……
“Hahahaha.”
It’s over, I’m done.
The three of you were all I had in me. ……
How am I going to live without the three of you? ……
“Damn it…… why……”
There’s nothing left for me anymore……
Thinking about it made me even more bitter.
“Ha… Harukaa……ai…..Sara, come back to me…..”
I want to go back, I want to go back to the time when we were close.
I want to start over and be happy.
I fell asleep while looking at old photos with this thought.
Thinking about the old …… happy times with the four of us ……
I prayed that when I woke up, it would all have never happened. ……
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I hate this sh*t because then trash people like this get the scorn they deserve and hurt themselves and all of a sudden you need to pity them and can’t be angry because “they’re already sad enough”.